how can me and my gf have a serious conversation?
i dont know why, but we just cant. she even said she has a hard time talking to me about certain things. we’ve been together for almost 5 months. and i can maybe think of 2 times when we’ve had a serious conversation. it bothers her and me. how can i start a conversation with her? what can we tlk about. this is the only problem in our relationship. please help
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IF you don’t know what to talk about, then why are you trying to talk so seriously?
talk about childhood experiences… like maybe when u or her fell or got embarressed,
so we can get closer. so we can feel comfortable telling each other things. so we can tlk to each other about things that are bothering us.
then why’d you ask what things you could talk about?
im talking about serious things. like relationship things. its hard to explain, but things about both of us being together. about things that are botherin us as a couple, in life. problems we have. things we wanna do with our futures, etc…
what can we tlk about
Why did you ask that when you clearly have the answer to your question is what I meant.
i need more things like that. i want to help her feel more comfortable coming to me, so that i can help her with problems or just to talk, instead of her always goin to her best friend. because when she goes to her best friend, i feel like she doesnt feel comfortable with me
Comfortability is something that develops. It would just come as soon as both of you are ready. Listen to her more and try to not comment too much on what she says. That encourages her to talk about herself. Some past experiences are not too easy to talk about. It takes some time to trust even a closest friend.
Go on with the flow and make sure that she is not pressured to talk about it. :)
dont get off yet, i need to show you what she just said.
we just tlkd on aim, but she had to go. here is what happend. what can i do about this???
Me (9:48:07 PM): is anything wrong?
her (9:48:11 PM): idk
her (9:48:18 PM): sorta
me (9:48:28 PM): whats sorta? can u tell me
her (9:48:43 PM): i dont really want to talk about it
me (9:48:52 PM): at all or right now
her (9:48:56 PM): idk
me (9:49:23 PM): ok
her (9:49:47 PM): im sorry
her (9:49:47 PM): i am probably bumming you now
me (9:50:08 PM): yea, i was just bout to say that i hate seein u like this
her (9:50:18 PM): im sorry
me (9:50:22 PM): its alright
her (9:50:49 PM): i am just really emo lately
me (9:51:02 PM): lately as in today or liek a week or so
her (9:51:08 PM): idk
her (9:51:16 PM): i guess today and yesterday
me (9:51:40 PM): does it have to do with me
her (9:51:45 PM): yeah
me (9:52:04 PM): can u just please tell me
her (9:52:25 PM): i feel like i can never prove how much i love you
me (9:52:53 PM): you dont need to prove it, i know how much you love me
me (9:53:23 PM): you dont need to do anything to prove it. just how you make me feel, and the way you look at me, and the way you act when your with me, tells me how much you love me
her (9:53:35 PM): i know
her (9:53:48 PM): but something feels like a barrior
me (9:53:55 PM): like what
her (9:53:59 PM): idk
her (9:54:30 PM): i feel like you show your love so much better and i dont treat you like i should
her (9:54:45 PM): and i cant talk to you like i want
me(9:55:10 PM): how do you not treat me like u should?
me (9:55:18 PM): i think you do
her (9:55:40 PM): idk i just feel like i dont show that i love you enough
me (9:55:42 PM): i feel the same way sometimes. sometimes i feel like im doing too much, n sometimes i feel like im not doin enough
me (9:55:59 PM): what made you think about htis
her (9:56:17 PM): idk just things
me (9:56:27 PM): what kinda things
me (9:56:32 PM): u have to know. dont say that you dont kno
her (9:57:10 PM): i cant cuz i dont
her (9:57:10 PM): just the whole thing i still cant talk to you thing
her (9:57:10 PM): i freeze up
her (9:57:20 PM): i wanna so hard, i really do
me (9:58:12 PM): what do i do or say that makes you think i show you more love?
her (9:58:28 PM): i dont know
her (9:58:38 PM): and i am sorry for keeping saying that
her (9:58:49 PM): i just feel like i dont deserve you
me (9:59:11 PM): dont say that
her (9:59:47 PM): erik i love you so much and i dont ever want to loose you
her (10:00:11 PM): but how i am i gonna keep you if i cant even communicate with you
me (10:00:36 PM): its not just you. its me 2.
me (10:00:52 PM): we can get over this
me (10:01:03 PM): we just need to try harder. both of us
her (10:01:08 PM): how i have been trying so hard
me (10:01:20 PM): i have 2
her (10:01:31 PM): no its not you
her(10:01:36 PM): i have to go
me (10:01:40 PM): how is it not me
me (10:01:42 PM): ok
me(10:01:54 PM): but dont say that u dont deserve me
me (10:01:57 PM): i love you!
her (10:02:03 PM): i love you too
It might be frustrating not to be able to help her and be told what her problems really are. But actually, by just being there actually works. Help her more by listening to her. Just no forcing. Eventually she will.
ok. when she was tellin me that. i was thinkin she was gunna leave me. i dont want that to happen. i dnot know what id do without her. how can i make her know that i know that she loves me
Send her a mail. Let her know that you are there for her. That you certainly know that love is strong. And you trust her when she told you that she loves you. It felt good when someone told me that in mail. I hope it works for you too.
ill send her a message on myspace. thanks. is there anything to help us with our communication?
im gunna show her this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqjNSR…
im gunna show you the message i am sending her
you dont need to do anything more to prove how much you love me. i already know how much you do. i know we dont have the best communication, but i wanna make it better. i know you do to. if we both keep tryin, we can. its just gunna take some time. even if you feel you cant come to me about something, you can. ill always be here for you. i want you to be able to come to me when somethings wrong. i wanna help you. i love you and i want you to know how much you mean to me. you dont know how much it hurts me to see you like this. dont ever say that you dont deserve me. because you do. your the greatest thing to have ever happened to me. you do all you need to, to show how much you love me. even if you dont think you do, i see it. the way you look at me, the way you smile after everytime i bite your lip, the way you make me feel when your with me are just some of the things that prove to me how much you love me.
i love you and i know that you love me!
Okay, that was awesome enough! :)
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