Year help: im really upset right now..im regretting so much.. - Help.com

Hello.

Your dad loved you very much regardless of the argument you had. He isn’t suffering anymore, and he wouldn’t want you to be empowering these feelings of guilt. There wasn’t anything you could have done, and the argument didn’t add to his pain.

Three years is a long time to be holding on to the pain and perhaps your mind won’t allow you to “let go” and you have found a way to just keep empowering your feelings of helplessness. You have no responsiblity in your dad’s death. Emphysema is diblitating, and it is very slow in it’s demise…

Perhaps write a letter to your dad, to help you gain closure to your pain… explaining your regret, and then burn it in a fire, or let it float down the river… send it in a balloon… or tuck it away in a drawer or secret place.

Your dad would have been proud of you… and was proud. He loved you very much and never would he hold your guilt against you and certainly he would never have wanted you to feel this about yourself.

We deal and cope with illnesses in many different ways, and a way for you to cope was perhaps to argue about it, because it allowed you to take some sort of control back then and maybe make it easier for you to cope…

You were not blind, you were just acting out in fear and in love… no one can fault you for that… he never did.

You cant blame yourself. Least your dad is in a better place. And yeah your dad LOVES you no matter what you say or do. Remeber That.