friends help: I am trapped. - Help.com

awww. can i ask, whats stopping you? there must be some way for u to to start a normal life elsewhere.. surely..?

even in the deepest darkness… there is hope..

were alway’s if you ever need people..

xNA-me wrote:
awww. can i ask, whats stopping you? there must be some way for u to to start a normal life elsewhere.. surely..?

x

how bout u realize that the problem is you. i would do what ever it took to get a life. sell home or leave go to a real town and start a new. i mean if it comes down to wanting to die or putting in the work to get a life, i rather do the work.

All of these things that you have described are choices. You apparently are choosing to live in a way that is causing you a lot of pain and loneliness. I am not saying that it’s easy to break away from hurtful choices, which are probably part of a lifelong pattern for you. But no one can move you away from that spot but you.

May I ask where it is you live, and how you got there? May I ask where you got your computer and learned how to use it? May I ask whether you have been made at some point in your life to feel very guilty about something that you may be eternally punishing yourself for? May I ask where you learned to read and write, and what the extent of your education is? May I ask where you get the means to live?

If we understand more about the situation that you are in, we might be able to come up with some suggestions for a few steps that will bring you closer to the life you want.

I should also say that coming here to ask for advice is a very good first step for you.

Well you have made a start by coming on here. Think it’s time you explored the internet a bit further. Do you work? Can you drive? Do you live alone? If you gave us a little bit more about yourself we may know which one of our friends can give you the best advice.

http://help.com/post/157350-there-is-…

OK you have addressed the loneliness by coming here as a start - the people in here are brilliant so you are never going to be stuck for someone to talk to if you are really down. That isnt ‘real’ company I know but it could point you in the right direction. Just roughly do you live in the mountains or something? Dont name your town or anything. but roughly where are you?

OK I’ll have to look that up as I’m in London - be right back

Well I looked it up and found this place - it’s probably not what you’re looking for but it shows that there are other organisations other than churches that do exist in Appalachia. I’m sure if we all looked we could find stuff that is relevant to you. What was it you studied at college?

Oh and check this link

Welcome To The Rural Appalachian Improvement LeagueRural Appalachian Improvement League,located in Mullens County WV, builds human & civic capacity through the incubation of nonprofit and grassroots …
www.railwv.org/ - 12k - Cached - Similar pages - Note this

Well I’ve skimmed thru a few things I found on Google and it looks like there is a real problem with loneliness and even ’self-improvement’ in your area. The history of the place looks fascinating. I’ll wait until you come back and we can chat then

noescape wrote:
I don’t have a home to sell. Where would I live if I left? I don’t have money to get a place somewhere else. I barely get by. I have a couple years of college education at a school clear across the country. I can’t afford to go back there and I checked into my credits transferring somewhere nearby and they don’t. I have very limited work experience. I don’t know what you mean by a lifelong pattern of hurtful choices. I’m not a criminal or a drug user or a drinker or any of that stuff. I don’t feel guilty about anything. I live alone……..very, very, very alone.

No, when I said you had a pattern of making hurtful choices, I was not accusing you of doing drugs or anything. What I meant was that all the things that are making your life miserable are the results of choices you have made. You could have chosen to stay where you went to college, for example, but you chose to return to a lonely place; you could have chosen to develop some good job skills, but you chose not to; you could have chosen to settle in a place where there are clubs, activities, volunteer work, and social activities, but you chose to return to the spot of your isolation. I am not saying “therefore you deserve what you got”–what I AM saying is, why did you make those choices? And what is to prevent you from making different choices? You really need to think about those questions.

For example, could you choose to take whatever you do for a living and do it somewhere else? Could you choose to spend your weekends working with Habitat for Humanity or one of other wonderful volunteer organizations that exist in Appalachia. Could you choose to take a photography or filmmaking course and document what goes on in your area? If churches are out of the question for you, could you take an ad in a local paper and help form an ethical culture group for area atheists? Could you deliver Meals on Wheels to shut-ins in your area? Could you volunteer at a local hospital, or act as a Big Brother or Big Sister to needy kids? Could you hop on a bus and go somewhere else to start over?

The answer to all of those questions is yes, you could, but, no, you don’t, and, given that you are so very happy and lonely in the situation you have carved out for yourself, I am wondering WHY you don’t make some different choices. Since you do not own your house, there is nothing to hold you there. Since you know how to use a computer, you are employable. Since you speak and write good English, you should have no trouble connecting with other people you meet on your life’s journey. At 32, you are old enough to take care of yourself and young enough to make a new beginning.

I am not suggesting that you try to change everything at once. Just think about one thing you would like to change, and take the plunge.

I used to have a big sign on my office wall that said, “IF NOTHING CHANGES, NOTHING CHANGES.”

i think that’s very applicable here. If you really want your life to change, DO SOMETHING. Start with one little thing, then go on from there.

Good luck.

I would like to run for president of the Mas1s Fan Club.

There could be a post in there but the mods would drop it like a hot potato with my history lol

You shouldnt feel worse - it takes a little while for you to get to know this place and remember we are working on very limited details when we try to answer. You must have dreams. What are they. I love talking with people about what their future might hold because sometimes someone on here will actually give them the idea to change their situation. Dont give up - keep talking. Tell us about the place you live (not the name) what’s stopping it from being a place you want to stay in. Or tell us about where you’d like to live.

I hope you dont think I’m attacking you. You do sound a bit down. Sometimes you can hit a certain year of your life and you start assessing what’s gone past and what’s to come. Sounds to me like you have been doing a bit of stocktaking and you are not so impressed with life t the moment. You can change things - not everything all at once, just one thing at a time.

Listen - just because you havent found a woman where you are does not mean that there isnt one. There is a thread running through your replies ‘looking at couples and families’ etc,.. I dont want to pry but have you had a relationship in the past or havent you had one in your life yet. It sounds to me you have a lot of love to give and that is an attractive trait you know. Just tell me it’s none of my business if that was too personal

Well you know that’s so not true that you are inadequate. I ended a really important relationship about 6 years ago. I’m also a single parent and after that I became very defensive and introverted. I’m not going to tell you that I walked out the front door and met Prince Charming because I havent. I seriously think you should stick around here. Join some serious posts. Post your own thoughts. Join in the funny ones. Maybe for the next week or so get on here and reolve some of your issues and at the same time maybe resolve other peoples. This is a great place for re-discovering your sense of humour (another attractive trait) it also lets you glimpse into lifes of people you would never have met - it gives you an idea of where you are at. But best of all it’s like having a live in friend who is just sitting there in the corner in case you need to talk. And you my friend, you do need to talk. Stick with it and dont be shy about what you post, part of getting help is accepting that you need it. Please stay around and if it’s ok I’ll add you to my friends list. I want to see your confidence grow with this extra communication. Regards Marie

What’s a girl to do - fly to Appelachia for a chat - lol

You too - give me a shout any time - I’ll be looking out for you