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I’m very worried for my boyfriend, he went into treatment

for alchoholism and six months later he hasn’t picked up a drink BUT as for any addiction the drinking was just a symptom.I understand addiction as I have had my own battles. He has a severe anxiety/paranoia disorder, hypochondria and goes into states of severe panic. It is very hard to deal with, he spends thousands of ponts on brain scans for imaginary tumors and suffers from almost constant psychosomatic headaches. As for the paranoia he is in constant fear of being targeted - either by terrorism or on a personal level - he even leaves a bit of anything he drinks in the botle so it can be tested for toxins if he falls ill. Obviously it was the alchohol that he used to calm down and medicate all of these things, but now he doesn’t have the alchohol these things are ruining his life. He can’t eat, sleep and can hardly leave the house, in constant ‘fight or flight’ mode. His doctor perscribed him many things but none seemed to be working, relctantly he has given him xanex - a benzo which is highly addictive. I worry he will not be able to use them medically and will start recreationally popping them whenever he feels anxious - recreating the whole alchohol problem all over. He seems to already have begun on the path of cross-addicting - into gambling; losing money he really can’t afford to lose playing poker tornaments. It’s caused more than financial prolems aswell - e.g we both picked up a bug, but I was a bit worse and he called and was like ‘you know i’d be over there looking after you if I was well enough’, and I was fine with that until later that night he called to check on me from a poker tornament! He can’t live his life with the paranoia but I have no idea how to help him, I love him and want to do the best by him without enabling him. But how?

This open post was written 5 months, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 155, 6, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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EartH, state, sleep, Alcohol, life, addiction, Benzodiazepine, house, anxiety, hypochondria (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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melt offline Verified User (8 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
An Undisclosed Location | 5 months, 1 week ago (1 minute after post)

decide now how far you’re willing to go with him and follow through.

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Anonymous #
5 months, 1 week ago (5 minutes after post)

melt wrote:
decide now how far you’re willing to go with him and follow through.

Well I love him so that isn’t the issue, the issue is shall I say anything about the xanex? I feel he needs them and it caould be a perfect solution if he cold use them medically as perscribed. But he has a highly addictive personality and if they are helping him to calm down I feel he may want that constantly

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Lapadaki offline Verified User (5 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 1 week ago (15 minutes after post)

Well, popping pills is dangerous, because over time you build up an immunity, and you have to take more to get the desired effect. If this goes on for too long, he will be in serious trouble. I would suggest getting a proper diagnosis, by means of them scanning his brain. That’s not normal in the least, and you should get him in.

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melt offline Verified User (8 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
An Undisclosed Location | 5 months, 1 week ago (3 hours, 28 minutes after post)

you can say something now and see what happens or you can bite your tongue and see what happens. either way, i don’t know how effective words will be to someone with a highly addictive personality who may feel he needs [insert addictive substance here]. you can talk until you’re blue in the face- he may even tell you what you want to hear- but the action ultimately lies with him… that’s why i suggest you decide how much you’re willing to put up with. if in saying you love him you mean you’ll put up with anything and everything, including reoccurences of previous problems brought on by addiction, then why bother saying anything? on the other hand, if you bring up your concerns, it’ll probably make i>you /i> feel better because it validates your concern. …only, how will you feel if you say something and things go to sh1t anyway? just let it ride its course. good luck.

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cattail offline Verified User (9 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 8 #
Newark, NJ, US | 5 months, 1 week ago (6 hours, 6 minutes after post)

Could these symptoms just be part of the withdrawal he’s going through too, or was he always like this??

I’ve been on Xanax, and it is a very nice relaxant… but unfortunately very addictive. My doctor put me on it for several months before I realized how bad it was. I was able to stop, but I felt really ill for several weeks when I quit… and I said never again. That was only after a few months, with a very low dose. If a person is on it for long periods of time, it will be very difficult to get off it. On the other hand, he probably needs some help right now. There are more natural relaxants, like valerian… it might help. I certainly see your concern about beginning yet another addiction though.

I do still take a xanax at times but I use it mainly because of muscle spasms, and only when I absolutely have to. The thing is that if you take it every day, eventually it’s not as effective anymore anyway and you need more and more of it to get the effect. If there’s any way he could only use it in times of severe stress, that would be good… perhaps you could monitor it for him?

A lot of these meds can backfire and make you feel worse when they wear off (i.e., more anxious and nervous). I don’t know what he’s taken so far, but all of this could be adding to the symptoms he’s having.

I’m hoping part of the trouble now is still a withdrawal symptom that will pass though!! Good luck!!

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Anonymous edited this post 5 months ago. Read the previous text »

I’m very worried for my oyfriend. He went into treatment for alchoholism and six months later he hasn’t picked up a drink BUT as for any addiction the drinking was just a symptom. He has a severe anxiety/paranoia disorder, hypochondria and goes into states of severe panic. Obviously it was the alchohol that he used to calm down and medicate all of these things, but now he doesn’t have the alchohol these things are ruining his life. He can’t eat, sleep and can hardly leave the house, in constant ‘fight or flight’ mode. His doctor perscribed him many things but none seemed to be working, relctantly he has given him xanex - a benzo which are highly addictive. I worry he will not be able to use them medically and will start recreationally popping them whenever he feels anxios - recreating the whole alchohol problem all over. Saying this he can’t live his life how he was doing so what on earth shall i do?

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