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but think of their loss, how will the money make a difference if they are so unhappy. what is so wrong? there are always answers even if we can’t see them for ourselves, talk to others and they may be able to help, or at least listen and try to advise

You have other choices. The insurance will NOT work. Can you tell me what got you to where you are?

You’re not being selfish. I think that’s proof you’re a great parent.

But don’t commit suicide…your children can be happy with you in their lives.

I live in Athens Ga. 5 years ago, husband of 25 years left without warning–cleaned out all accounts and left me with 2 kids and all bills. Since married young, didn’t finish high school but did get my GED later. I’ve held low paying jobs all my adult life, because we moved alot due to husbands career. We weren’t rich, but did live comfortable…decent car, vacations, kids had nice things. When he left, I tried to hold it together as long as possible…2 sometimes 3 jobs-always low paying. Kids found out what free lunch at school was all about–a lot of times it was all they had to eat. We didn’t qualify for assistance because we owned a mobile home free and clear–which I couldn’t borrow against because it was too old. My son got a job as soon as old enough=tried to join military but has severe asthma. Didn’t have the money to send to college or tech school, so he is working in low paying job just like mom. Daughter will graduate 2 weeks and has really high marks and could go to college, but we just can’t swing all the money–and again don’t qualify for loans. Straw that has brought me down is the stimulas refund check that came tonight…was expecting enough to cover taxes and insurances on home/car but found out that only I get the $300 because my kids are between the ages of 17-23. Enough is enough. Yeah, my kids will probably be sad, but in the long run, they’ll see that I did it for them to get ahead.
And yes, I’ve read my insurance policy…I’ve had it for going on 15 years and the suicide notation only says it won’t pay during first two years. I can see no way out.
I’m behind on everything…not 1 month, but 2. I honestly can see no other way

Your all they have right now. Don’t let them down over a man.

think how they will cope if your not here, it really isnt the answer to end it all.

Wow I hear you. My best friend wasn’t there after to hire a lawyer when they backed out.

You will servive. You are living through your kids and they will be “Kings”.
You have and will provide love and a nest for them.

Been over the man since the day he left. This is about doing something that will help my kids get ahead.
Insurance can catch the bills up and give them enough to live on for 2 years…it will also give them enough for tuition for a 2 year college…its the only way for me to break the cycle for them

My best friend was dead and the insurance back out and the family fell apart and is all done….

so they will be happy at college because they have the money, oh but no mother to share achievements, think deeper than you are.

think of everything you would miss and everything they will have to cope with alone,

Insurance is Not your friend..life is. Money sadly is evil, but we need some to live. Maybe a small rest and another plan might help…Do you anybody helping?

What are you doing now??

I have thought of everything I will miss…I’ve also thought of everything that this will give them and believe me, it overrides what I will miss. They will have each other-they are extremely close as it is.

I’ve been dealing in insurance and lost for years…if it were a good idea everybody would do it. Other than the money….how is everything else..?

Where do you live…country I mean?

I’m trying to figure out how that stupid $300 stimulas check is going to cover taxes of over $400 of taxes and $200 of insurance payments that are already late. Lights and phone (necessary for call in extra shifts of work) are already 2 months behind. Daughter graduates in 2 weeks and I can’t even afford to get her the stupid shoes she’s suppose to wear.
Live in Georgia, usa

Why did they reduce your rebate?

What is stimulas?

I’m in Canada…lol…can you tell?

Stimulas check that Bush said would kick start economy to rebound…what he doesn’t realize is that most of us won’t be spending it…will just be paying past due bills

Not impling they would help, but do you have family ties to your area?

life is hard somtimes, but to end it all is so final, a long term solution to a short term problem. can’t your daughter get a job, help each other out they wouldn’t want you not to be here. they are old enough to talk to and find answers to get things back on track

little things can add stress. Knock them off first. Maybe somebody has used shoes that look like new…the kids here are into that. I’m proud that the trend is to hate new stuff. They can’t get blood from a stone…first priority is to make you daughters grad the BEST. Maybe consider a group thing with her friends.

I’m on the road and have to go…thank you for sharing your felling and we where there…my son is now a lawyer and he fights for the little guy…God Bless you for loving your children, they are the way..:)

All of us work…all jobs are part time, because this is college town and employers don’t want to pay benefits like insurance. It just a feels like its never enough

Before I go…I have an inside tip…no crap..this summer will be the best..life is good and I love camping…no hydro there..take care..I’ll check in later

break things down like max said, get your daughters shoes these don’t have to be the ones she really want, but if she understands the financial problems you are having she will understand that a cheaper pair is better than nothing, or even borrow some. then prioratise what needs paying first, then realise how you all need each other to get by at this present time, and promise each other you will always be there for one another.

Both of my kids know of our financial problems. We have all been working and trying to make ends meet. My daughter is very UNselfish, she never complains or anything like that. She didn’t go to prom, or senior trip, she didn’t get a copy of her senior year book–those things are not necessary. The shoes in question, are the ones the school has decided all seniors must wear to look uniformed at graduation. Its not a choice of want, its a choice of need so that she can walk across the stage and except her graduation certificate like any other senior. Any other time, I would have gone to goodwill to see what they have…this isn’t the case for these shoes.

then she must have them and other things will have to wait, then still prioritise everything else and slowly work through them, but most of all be here for your children for as long as you can.

No one seems to understand that I have been trying everything I know to work all this out. I work and work-so do the kids-and all we are able to do is scrape by. We all work at least 1 job at fast food resturants so we can eat there for free on the days we work there–at home, we have roman noodles…and if they raise the price on those again, we wont have that. gas prices are killing us…got paid last Monday from one of my jobs-cleared $96 and it took $52 to fill the car up with gas. electricity doesn’t get paid until we get cutoff notice, same with the phone. I keep thinking I’ll catch up one day…but that day never comes. I’m so tired. I don’t want this type of life for my kids. This is the only solution I have. Ex and I were only children and there is no extended family. Social Services is a joke. I’m just at my wits end…

Your kids will not ‘get ahead’ by your killing yourself.

You say your daughter has great marks and is intelligent enough to go to college? Her mother committing suicide could destroy all that.

I think you need to go and see a health professional about the way you are feeling. I don’t like in the USA so I don’t know how it works but there MUST be a way to see a doctor without having to pay?

How it works in the US is that AFTER you try and kill yourself, you can get moved to the front of the line–if you survive that is. If you’re poor with no insurance, you’re just out of luck.
Talking to someone is not going to do any good in my case. I’ve tried and tried to work myself out of the situation I’m in and just seem to be running in place. Now I see my kids about to start down this same road and I can’t see that for them. I want them to succeed and the only way to do that in the US is with a degree of some sort. A degree that is out of reach for people without money.
Oh, one college did offer to let her come and go to their school with them loaning her the money…but when we added up how much it will cost, she would be close to $30,000 in debt when she got out with that degree.

just getting by each day is not the best i know but there are lots of people who must live like this, i’m sure things at some point will get better,

OK Gamon. You probably wont like this but I think you should hear it. Have you read the statistics about the children of single parent who commit suicide and how long they are likely to live past their late 20’s whithout an addiction and/or criminal record, that’s if they are still living. Previously good kids whose parent selfishly decided to leave to fend for themselves. You have had maternal instincts all these years and you have brought them up as a tight, loving unit - and now you want to destroy all that. Destroy every part of their future that you should be a part of. Weddings, holding their first child, your grandchildren (what are they going to tell their kids - you are stigmatising their future). I dont want to dump all of the things I think you could do at once as I can see you have been on here for a while - I do have a few thoughts - so if you want to hear more - I will watch out for your reply.

I’ve got to for a while so I’ll leave you another piece of my answer, sorry it’s long but this really is a problem about 3 different people, you , your son and your daughter.

Firstly - your son. Remember he isnt going to take time off to have kids so the fact he has started in a low-paid job is not going to be the hinderance you think it is. He really needs to get in on the ground floor of a major company, a chain of stores or restaurants. It sounds like you have brought him up to be hard working and more importantly he wants to work. If he can get a minimum wage job with a national organisation he will be promoted from the inside because they tend to look within the company for people to promote. There are also jobs which he could do which maybe you dont think are high flying but they will pay his bills, Government employee, postal service, I’d need to look into your area but I am a headhunter in recruitment and I know that some of the smallest fish I have dealt with have gone on to do wonders over the lasst 10 years I have been doing this. If you want I would look for recruiters for you to contact - dont write him off just yet. He might need a bit of a hand with his resume - you could always e-mail me it and I’ll turn it into something a little bit professional for him, people think that’s the boring part of my job but trust me I love changing these things and watching people go out and get something done with a lot more confidence. Remember you are all a bit stressed and down right now - you have to get the kid’s confidence back up

Look, I think your daughter should TAKE the college’s offer. Yes, she’ll have debt to pay off, but she’s smart, she’ll manage. And you just have to keep slogging ahead one day at a time. Your kids will never break out of the cycle without you. I know I would rather be so poor I lived on the street instead of losing my mother. DON”T leave them.

Please hang on a little while, please! My father did exactly what you are planning. He was brave, and the insurance saved our house, but I would have chosen anything at all, any kind of fate, if only my Daddy would have held on. In fact, his Disability was approved about 3 months after he died, and Mama was already on Disability, so I say so what if we lost our big house. Or even if we kids had to temporarily live somewhere else. I’m just trying to say give hope a chance, please, please for the ones who love you.

Also right now my husband and I have fallen into too much debt and just the other day Eddie was told his job is being cut to part-time. He already has another job, part-time, but with our debt this is really hard. I feel your pain and I will pray for you. Not a believer? Pray anyway, if you can. There is a promise that when two agree on something in Jesus name it shall be done. I’m not a fanatic, but I know if you will pray tonight, with me, there will come a light in all your darkness. And pray for me too–Eddie and I need a miracle, too.

Libbyc