Love help: I’m in love with my best friend. - Help.com

Southerngal
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An Unknown Location

I’m in love with my best friend.

We are both dating other people and to add to it we live in different cities. Neither of us is capable of a long distance relationship and it really puts a strain on our friendship. He seems like he has moved on and is happy with his girlfriend. The problem is that I haven’t been able to move on and its putting me through a lot of pain and its also not fair to my boyfriend. I’ve been praying over this for a couple months now and I haven’t been able to get him out of my head. Advice?

This open post was written 3 months, 4 weeks ago | V/U/S: 369, 19, 12 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Southerngal may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Southerngal is a verified member, has been around for 3 months, 4 weeks and has 3 posts and 11 replies to their name.

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King Rowass offline Verified User (8 months, 4 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 1,719 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (1 minute after post)

It might not be love you might just miss him and the feelings might be a mistake.

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Southerngal offline Verified User (3 months, 4 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (4 minutes after post)

But wouldn’t I have realized it if it were a mistake by now?

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J 7 offline Verified User (5 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (5 minutes after post)

maybe just think about othr things

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rstarzboxer offline Verified User (3 months, 4 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (7 minutes after post)

Maybe he is feeling the same way but just hasn’t said anything? Couldn’t hurt to talk to him could it? Atleast you will know if there is a possibility for anything between you two or if he really has moved on. Please talk to him, you’ll regret it if you don’t.

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kowardlypuppy200 offline Verified User (3 months, 4 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (16 minutes after post)

I agree with rstarboxer, if you don’t take that chance then you’ll never know what could’ve or couldn’t have been. Good Luck.

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jessie.martindal offline Verified User (3 months, 4 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (19 minutes after post)

i know exactly how you feel. its hard!!! if it helps trty the same thing move on and just be best friends

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Southerngal offline Verified User (3 months, 4 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (19 minutes after post)

He doesn’t like to talk about it. He thinks that talking about it is disrespectful to his girlfriend or something. I really would love to talk to him about it but I’ve tried that and I didn’t get very far. Its really hard to have to try to be his best friend but I’d rather be that then anything else.

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kowardlypuppy200 offline Verified User (3 months, 4 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (22 minutes after post)

This is going to sound typical Fairy Tail, but follow YOUR heart, do what you think and feel is right and whatever comes out, you’ll be ready to deal with it.

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pluto_goddes offline Verified User (1 year, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
Austin, TX, US | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (24 minutes after post)

How do you feel about your boyfriend? and you ahve confronted him/ your friend about it? If he is happy with his girlfriend, i think you should respect it, i had this happen to me, where i was the girlfriend and the best friend and my bf had a thing, its terrible to the girlfriend, i htink you should either leave it alone, or talk to him about it, if he doesn’t feel that way, then you should just leave it be. I’m sorry to be the one to give the harsh piece of advice, but i know how it is to be on the other end. It destroys your friendship and it hurts everyone. All four of you will hate it in the end. Unless it really is meant to be, then your boyfriend, and his girlfriend will just hate it in the end.

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candycoupo offline Verified User (4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (24 minutes after post)

maybe hes “your guy”

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Southerngal offline Verified User (3 months, 4 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (29 minutes after post)

My boyfriend? To tell you the truth I’m not really crazy about him. He is a good guy and I have fun with him, but no one can compare to.. yeah. I’ve been trying to respect it and leave the issue alone but it really hit me hard when I went and visited him a while ago. It pretty much killed me to watch him and his girlfriend together. But when he wasn’t with her he looked at me like I was the only girl that mattered, you know? I don’t want to cause any problems between anyone and my boyfriend is really jealous of the fact that him and I are so close. But I can’t help my feelings..

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pluto_goddes offline Verified User (1 year, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
Austin, TX, US | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (31 minutes after post)

Well if you and your boyfriend are not that close than it isn’t that big of a deal. I htink you should just talk to your friend, and figure it out. I would have been a lot happier, and had a lot less issues with my boyfriend and i if he didn’t tell me about her feelings for him. It caused a lot of stress.

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candycoupo offline Verified User (4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (34 minutes after post)

i meant your best friend.
maybe hes the right one for you

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rstarzboxer offline Verified User (3 months, 4 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 4 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (36 minutes after post)

You need to lay it on the line to him. Tell him your not trying to be disrepectful but you need to tell him how you feel and that you want an honest answer from him. This is obviously the person you want to be with, you need to let him know.

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Southerngal offline Verified User (3 months, 4 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (54 minutes after post)

Ya’ll I wish it was as easy as just talking to him. We live too far away and he isn’t up to the challenge of a long distance relationship. We always used to say that patience is the key to happiness.. but it seems like both of us ran out of that key ingredient. He has done little things here and there that reminds me that he still loves me, but they are very subtle and he never talks about them. The whole thing really confuses me /=

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basketball_girl.201 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (1 hour, 1 minute after post)

i wish the best for u!! maybe something will happen!!

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chev.jame offline Verified User (4 months, 4 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 27 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (1 hour, 14 minutes after post)

They’re right. Don’t keep it in. That’s the stuff regrets are made of. If you don’t do something, you could be ruminating about this when you’re 80 years old! But DO also think about how you came to drift apart!

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susanp79 offline Verified User (4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (2 hours, 14 minutes after post)

I feel like i have lived this before. I think you should try one more time to talk to him. If he doesnt want to talk about it, then leave it alone. If the communication between you guys is not that great with this, then a relationship would be hard anyways if there is none. Time will heal all wounds. Just get through it for awhile and it will get better.

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chels_immorta offline Verified User (3 months, 4 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (4 hours, 13 minutes after post)

whether its a big crush or love… its hard to tell, if hes ur best frnd, maybe tell him how u feel then most of the confusion will be off ur mind…

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