Love help: Which should be given preference in finding a mate - good looks, - Help.com

I think only if the one is nice and kind w/ u. Thats all. If he is not nice, it will be hard to live w/ him. Financial problem can be solved if u both are helping each other and this can only be done if both r nice w/ each other.

Yea. The mate is only kind if he really loves other mate.

In terms of a loving relationship with a partner, the most important things (and they are not “things” at all… but attitudes) are the five A’s.

http://help.com/post/118680-the-five-…

If you don’t want to read the whole former post, in short the 5 A’s are:

Attention, Acceptance, Appreciation, Affection and Allowing.

Without these, nothing else in the relationship will matter. The other things you mentioned are all transient, which is why philosophers have called them illusion. Good looks, fade as we get older… Advances are made everyday rendering education obsolete. Families die… and the richest men in the world can go bankrupt. Focus on getting the 5 A’s from a partner, and you’ll be a very rich person.

Bright blessings ~ Richard

good looks
Guess so. Has to be someone that suits you, not someone that looks old enough to be your mother etc.

financial stability
More important on the male side, females can do housework after marriage >.> *sexism*

educational attainment
Again, more important on the male side. Though, the females need to be reasonably clever. I don’t want some blonde retard *generalising*

family background
Yep, I don’t want some mafia boss trying to kill me for taking his daughter o.O

compatibility
Well duh, that’s the point of having a partner

simply blind love
I guess so. If you fall in love with a flop-of-a-child, it can’t be taken back. You’ll have to find someway for that person to gain all the of the above options. Kinda like a pet.

1. Compatibility : no matter how hot someone is, how much money they have, how smart they are, if you guys aren’t compatible it just won’t work out in the long term if you are seeking happiness.

2. Family Background : Sort of goes hand in hand with compatibility in my opinion. It usually sets the basis for ones personality and shapes their being…whether good or bad… it has had SOME effect on a person. I also strongly believe that one does not have to live with a parent in order to attain certain personality traits from their parents/ancestors…. personality can be genetic too…

3. Tied at Educational Attainment and Financial Stability: I find it super attractive for a guy to have goals and want to learn, but not having money can sometimes harm a relationship… this one is a toss up for me. While personally I don’t care how much money a guy has (both my exes have had “no money” nor have I, but to tell you the truth, money played some part in both break-ups)…. funny thing, neither of them had college educations…hmmm… I still believe love can make things work, whether good or bad, so maybe they just fell out of love with me.. haha On another note, some guys are financially stable and have no “college education” but can be smart… but if I have to choose brain over money… BRAIN ALL THE WAY!

4. Blind love : Sometimes a bit crazy and unrealistic if you ask me… does it ever work? I would like to think so…

5. Good looks : In my opinion, if all else fails, hopefully they have this! haha… for some, it’s all they have. My reason for this NOT being #1… well from observation people will spend YEARS doing the same thing day after day, and more likely than not, they are not going to change their personality… but looks change, people get fat, their skin shrivels and warps, or worse case scenario, they could get in a horrible disfiguring accident where you will no longer find them attractive… this is why I feel love should be based more on how compatible you are than the way you look together.

P.S. In regards to #5, my point wasn’t that people that are fat, or disfigured aren’t attractive, but that if you fall in love with someone based mostly on looks, well what do you do when their looks have changed?

Those are actually additional points in a person.

But i go for the attitude. How he deals with me. How he deals with others.

~lilies~ wrote:
Those are actually additional points in a person.

But i go for the attitude. How he deals with me. How he deals with others.

Attitude is pretty important.. I agree!

To me, family background is the first thing to reckon with,coz that influence the way both relates and also influence the compatibility. Compatibility is also important,if none,both will always be at each other’s throat.After these you can now consider the educational background, coz in love education does not suppose to come first too much education leads to much quarrel,both would want to be justified always. After these three you look at the financial status an appearances.