question help: A poem about the death of my father. - Help.com

awww im sorry about your dad and i like your poem.

its a beautiful poem :) thanks for sharing. I’m sorry for your loss.

This is quite good, aside from a few spelling and grammatical error that could be fixed. I’m also pleased that it is in free-verse. Too often on this site do I see poems written with a forced rhyme that simply does not work. Good to see something well-written for once.

And of course, I’m sorry about your father. I know it must be difficult. Stay strong, and keep writing.

Actually I’m from Canada which uses a written language that is very close to British English. But really, US English and UK English aren’t all that different. Maybe a few slang terms and spelling differences here and there, but overall it’s still the same language.

Okay, onwards to grammar:

The lines

But then feel your there, but not
you body has gone it’s natural way to decay

should instead read

But then I feel YOU’RE there, but not
YOUR body has gone ITS natural way to decay

your = shows possession
you’re = the contraction of the words ‘you’ and ‘are’

Similarly,

its = shows possession
it’s = contractions of ‘it’ and ‘is’

(Note the use of the apostrophe. If ever you are in doubt of using an apostrophe or not, play it safe and don’t use it at all.)

Also,

As this is natures process

should read

As this is NATURE’S process

Again, the apostrophe denotes possession, as opposed to plurality as is the case with the word ‘natures.’

Remember that all good writing is re-writing. Polishing of your writing is a necessary evil in this world, and when you go back and re-read your poem, you’ll likely notice some things you will want to change that might make it read better. I do this all the time, and read the same poem over three or four times in a row, alternating between silent reading and reading it out loud, to catch anything that I don’t like. What I don’t like, I change, and then go back and read it again. Of course, you may work differently. Everyone does. Just remember that editing is the key to writing.

Great poem and very touching. Sorry for you loss spiritedsoul.

Its beautiful…

♥

sorry for your loss. i hope everything is ok and its gud that u wrote a poem to express how u feel is very gud for you. way better than keeping it bottled up inside. the important thing ot remember is that hes ina better place now!!! :’(

I lost my father and brother 6 weeks apart. its hard to go through but you poetry is very lovely and i will keep you in my prayers

Sorry about your dad, your poem is very touching, I lost my dad years ago and there is song I always used to say was my song to my dad. Its called “Every thing I Own” David gates wrote it when his dad died which I didn’t find out until after. I think its before your time. Lol. The pain does ease as the years go on, but you always miss them. I am sure he is watching over you.