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gibsoncynthi
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how do I deal with someone who feels sorry for themselves

on a daily basis and tries to make everybody feel sorry for them, too

This open post was written 1 month, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 92, 7, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post gibsoncynthi may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. gibsoncynthi is a verified member, has been around for 1 month, 3 weeks and has 2 posts and 5 replies to their name.

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rstarzboxer offline Verified User (1 month, 4 weeks) Shouts: 4 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (8 minutes after post)

You can’t control how everyone else reacts to this person but I personally would just ignore the behavior or say simple positive remarks like “things will get better” don’t play into what she does…. sounds like to me she is wanting the attention that it brings.

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Felicity-{KIMKRISS} offline Verified User (6 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 281 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (2 hours, 24 minutes after post)

This is hard.It can be draining to others,bringing them down.I hope this hasn’t happened to you.If not,it will after time so you have to do something now.It can mean choosing to not be around them so much ,or telling them how you feel or sever ties completely.

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gibsoncynthi offline Verified User (1 month, 3 weeks) Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (22 hours, 15 minutes after post)

I have to work with this person every day and am around her all the time.

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Felicity-{KIMKRISS} offline Verified User (6 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 281 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (22 hours, 37 minutes after post)

You are in a pickle arent you?You have had talks with her which has given her warning,.Maybe it’s time you be more firm.When she says something negative you could refuse to listen, telling her you ‘dont want to hear it.Or maybe ask for a different position,you or her so you wont have to see her as much or none.

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gibsoncynthi offline Verified User (1 month, 3 weeks) Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (1 day, 4 hours after post)

I do wonder why she might feel the way she does. Sometimes I wish I was a psychiatrist so maybe I could figure it out. I try to be reassuring that things are not as bad as they seem to her. I just wonder what makes her feel that way so often. I really do try to take the load off her by doing things myself, so she won’t feel overwhelmed. And I do like her and want her to be happy, she is a great person, otherwise.

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Plox offline Verified User (2 months) Shouts: 22 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (2 days, 9 hours after post)

“Self-pity is an emotion which is self-destructive. It may be the result of grief or clinical depression, and will have to be viewed differently then, but usually it stems from a weak self-confidence and needs to be overcome in the process of becoming a mature adult.”

I always viewed self-pity as a form of manipulation to get others to feel guilt but it’s not always like that.

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gibsoncynthi offline Verified User (1 month, 3 weeks) Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 1 week ago (1 week, 6 days after post)

It’s funny that you mention the self-pity being a form of manipulation to get others to feel guilt because I think that is why she does it. She wants everyone to think she works soooo hard, and most of the time she does but then she acts like she is overwhelmed and used. She is not used. She is only expected to do her job but she tries to make it look like she is overworked to make others feel guilty, as if they aren’t doing their part, and they are!

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