Sending it out there…
I feel like a spectator in my own life. Watching myself through a bullet proof glass going “that’s interesting” but not entirely impressed with the presentation. Like watching a play and going “I get what they were going for, but not sure if they actually got there. Nice effort though.” I hope the critics will go easy on me.
My friend got engaged and asked me to be her maid of honour. What I felt was a peculiar blend of gratidude, shock and neausia.
I have a new fascination with old fashioned erotica. I’m collecting postcards of naked women from the 1920’s. They look so beautiful - all soft and carefree. I see nothing erotic in them. I see wonderful women that are proud of their femininity. One is reading a book naked, the other is brushing her hair naked. I keep staring at them. They make me feel like a woman.
There are no messages in the window. I don’t know what to make of this. Has he given up or moved on?
I like to laugh. I plan to do more of that.
Since writing this post Yrja may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Yrja is a verified member, has been around for 5 years, 4 months and has 13 posts and 330 replies to their name.
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I can’t tell if this is fact, or just a poem… or both! It’s written quite beautifully.
thank you both. It’s fact. I appreciate the compliment.
I like the way you think:)
SoulRising invited 19 users to read this post 5 years, 1 month ago.
Well since it is fact, I’d like to add that I can totally relate! But even worse, I don’t see my life going anywhere really right now…. I know what you mean about the friend asking you to be a maid-of-honor… SICKENING! haha… Everyone is growing up and changing all around me and I can’t change my ways no matter how hard I try… or don’t try hehe. Makes me sick…
As for that old erotica… I’m quite fond of the 50s pin-up stuff… it makes me feel sexy and love my body.
And everyday I can’t help but think the same things… has he given up, moved on, or what the heck is going on in his warped mind!? Give me a sign!
Keep your head up! :) Keep writing, you’re great at it.
I think you should write songs :)
Bright blessings ~ Richard
Is it true you are looking for more interaction ?
Thats what I understand from the text.
Probably. Meaningful interaction. Who doesn’t crave meaningful interaction? Is that not what we all are looking for?
and thanks all. Yer very kind
I didn’t littlenick. Wish I had now. I just added you to my friends list though so I promise that next time I will. Fer sure.
Thank Yrja, I like these old 20s erotic photos too … And, have you ever seen the movie “Le notti bianche” (White Nights)? That is a fantastic movie, starring the man who was in the old Beauty and the Beast, Jean Marais. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_notti…
So you feel like a spectator - I know that feeling so well.
I’ve gotten the same feeling with observing myself. Not big on 20s erotica though.
Yrja you got there already babe,that bullet proof glass is just clouding the vision,find that sledgehammer,to see clearly you must have perfect vision,critics are raving,your heading for stardom like those old pictures, the bare truth will be exposed and you will be that woman you admire so much carefree and stripped of all burden and doubt,carefree and unashamed of the self image,i quess the fashion industry has made you see the real beauty of woman yeh and it aint a pair of pretty panties or a red bra lol.
Inside that wonderous big beautiful heart of yours is that spirit of freedom yearning for exposure ,to be free,the nausia is the dress youll be forced to wear at the wedding huh, will you catch the bouquet i wonder?!the old man i quess wants you to write the next line,hes waiting for responce, did the audience approve?is there an encore?questioning on the inside reflecting quietly,like you the world he sees thru his glass may not be what he envisioned,he has closed the curtain on his theatres stage,he sees the show going on though his part in the play has come and gone,he sees not the fat naked lady of your reflections and contemplations but hears the fat lady singing instead,for him the show is over, but for you ,those scenes are unwritten ,and there are so many chapters remaining in the book of Yrja,are you the star who everyone is waiting for,you got my vote for best actress,keep the dream alive ,keep hoping,keep believing ,the climax is coming,will the ending shock everyone leave the awe struck?or will there be a sequel? Yrja 11 the mystery continues,be kind, be true ,belong to your self,behold you are beheld of many
I’m kinda in a similar state, I suppose. Still trying to figure out who these critics are though. It’s like, am I living for them, or me?
Are you a writer? The way you wrote all that was awesome!! :)
Ahh I do want to cuddle and kiss you a little bit Yrja.
I generally feel the same in comparison to the first paragraph, nothing hits the potential or emotional punch that I imagine or want to feel in my mind. I think “Hmm her tongue is kind of gooey. Why is she kissing me? I wish I would feeling something,” when I was kissed.
I agree with the art deco erotica. Those woman seem curvy, beautiful and womanly in a way that models of this era just don’t reach at all - they’re more like manicans for products, instead of strong (and intimidating *.*) monuments to feminity and the power of the female body.
No message in the window -.-
Yer all the besteses! Such good uns comment on my posts :) I’m very lucky.
Thanks Florie. I’ll totally check that movie out.
Aki…and all else on to cheer me up…yer so sweet. The thing is…I don’t really feel that bad well… in comparison to other periods in my life. This one is quite good because even though I feel like a spectator at least I’m observing. It’s better then turning a blind eye.
I was kind of surprised with some of the responses I got cause the post didn’t feel all that dark to me when I wrote it :) I guess it was darker then I thought…
Actually (I know this sounds bad) but the shock and the neusia was more about being chosen for this task. Why would she choose ME for such a responsible task. This special day….is she not worried that I’d screw it all up for her? I do not have dreams of rings on fingers and white dresses myself.
Yes….who are the critics? I’m thinking about that a lot these days aswell. I’ve also been observing my behaviour around certain people that make me nervous. Why do I think that those individuals are criticizing me more then others? It’s a very interesting observation actually. Quite amusing sometimes.
Thanks for the writing comments guys. I’ve been trying to write in icelandic cause I’m afraid that my english is not good enough…but then it’s kind of easier for me to express myself in english - feelings and such. The vocabulary is different.
Ahh I do want to cuddle and kiss you a little bit Yrja.
Well get on over here then! I’ll bake pancakes.
Yall peoples are the swellest you know? I wish I could have a dinner party and invite you all! - I have this thing….I always want to cook for people I like :) I could set a date….like the 18th of august 8 pm icelandic time I’m having a dinner party in m little appartment in Reykjavik. Yer all invited :) yay!
sounds lovely - I’ll be there!
Those women look like that because women were more feminine, that was their role in life. They had men hoping and closing doors, standing up when they entered the room and catching them when they fainted. Oh, how wonderful, now women want to open the doors by themselves and men don’t know whether to let them or whether they are going to be punched in the face for doing this small thing for them. If women let men be courtious to them, men would feel they had a reason for being there.
Well, I think so anyway. Go be that maid of honour, enjoy the dress and looking like those women before they took all their clothes off - you could go home and act that bit out on your own later:0
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