friends help: Sending it out there…. - Help.com

Sending it out there…

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I feel like a spectator in my own life. Watching myself through a bullet proof glass going “that’s interesting” but not entirely impressed with the presentation. Like watching a play and going “I get what they were going for, but not sure if they actually got there. Nice effort though.” I hope the critics will go easy on me.

My friend got engaged and asked me to be her maid of honour. What I felt was a peculiar blend of gratidude, shock and neausia.

I have a new fascination with old fashioned erotica. I’m collecting postcards of naked women from the 1920’s. They look so beautiful - all soft and carefree. I see nothing erotic in them. I see wonderful women that are proud of their femininity. One is reading a book naked, the other is brushing her hair naked. I keep staring at them. They make me feel like a woman.

There are no messages in the window. I don’t know what to make of this. Has he given up or moved on?

I like to laugh. I plan to do more of that.

This open post was written 5 months ago | V/U/S: 268, 26, 13 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Yrja may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Yrja is a verified member, has been around for 8 months, 2 weeks and has 14 posts and 330 replies to their name.

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Replies (26)

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Yrja invited 17 users to read this post 5 months ago.

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obamadaisy offline Verified User (8 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 742 #
An Undisclosed Location | 5 months ago (10 minutes after post)

I can’t tell if this is fact, or just a poem… or both! It’s written quite beautifully.

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Yrja offline Verified User (8 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
Reykjavík, 10, IS | 5 months ago (13 minutes after post)

thank you both. It’s fact. I appreciate the compliment.

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SoulRising offline Verified User (5 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 100 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months ago (28 minutes after post)

I like the way you think:)

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SoulRising invited 19 users to read this post 5 months ago.

annlovestars * offline Verified User (6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 106 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months ago (49 minutes after post)

Is it true you are looking for more interaction ?
Thats what I understand from the text.

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obamadaisy offline Verified User (8 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 742 #
An Undisclosed Location | 5 months ago (50 minutes after post)

Well since it is fact, I’d like to add that I can totally relate! But even worse, I don’t see my life going anywhere really right now…. I know what you mean about the friend asking you to be a maid-of-honor… SICKENING! haha… Everyone is growing up and changing all around me and I can’t change my ways no matter how hard I try… or don’t try hehe. Makes me sick…

As for that old erotica… I’m quite fond of the 50s pin-up stuff… it makes me feel sexy and love my body.

And everyday I can’t help but think the same things… has he given up, moved on, or what the heck is going on in his warped mind!? Give me a sign!

Keep your head up! :) Keep writing, you’re great at it.

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Richard cor de lyon offline Verified User (1 year, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 96 #
An Undisclosed Location | 5 months ago (52 minutes after post)

I think you should write songs :)

Bright blessings ~ Richard

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Yrja offline Verified User (8 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
Reykjavík, 10, IS | 5 months ago (1 hour, 2 minutes after post)

annlovestars wrote:
Is it true you are looking for more interaction ?
Thats what I understand from the text.

Probably. Meaningful interaction. Who doesn’t crave meaningful interaction? Is that not what we all are looking for?

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Yrja offline Verified User (8 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
Reykjavík, 10, IS | 5 months ago (1 hour, 2 minutes after post)

and thanks all. Yer very kind

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littlenick offline Verified User (6 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 120 #
An Undisclosed Location | 5 months ago (1 hour, 6 minutes after post)

Did you invite me to come here? If so, I feel honored.

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Help me with: Hey people!
Yrja offline Verified User (8 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
Reykjavík, 10, IS | 5 months ago (1 hour, 8 minutes after post)

I didn’t littlenick. Wish I had now. I just added you to my friends list though so I promise that next time I will. Fer sure.

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littlenick offline Verified User (6 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 120 #
An Undisclosed Location | 5 months ago (1 hour, 8 minutes after post)

I am self concious. I think some people think that I go over the top with my responses to some posts.

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Help me with: Hey people!
littlenick offline Verified User (6 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 120 #
An Undisclosed Location | 5 months ago (1 hour, 9 minutes after post)

I have read some of your posts. That brain of yours is always churning something awesome!

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Help me with: Hey people!
Anonymous #
5 months ago (3 hours, 15 minutes after post)

It’s like the Maid of Honour thing has made you realise that everything is shifting towards a different kind of life - the one that used to seem so far away just a short time ago. The naked ladies with their carefree innocence and buttery baby skin is taking you right back to where you were once safe from the harshness of the grown up world - it’s childhood and mother love combined.

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Florie offline Verified User (8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 115 #
An Undisclosed Location | 5 months ago (3 hours, 36 minutes after post)

Thank Yrja, I like these old 20s erotic photos too … And, have you ever seen the movie “Le notti bianche” (White Nights)? That is a fantastic movie, starring the man who was in the old Beauty and the Beast, Jean Marais. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_notti…

So you feel like a spectator - I know that feeling so well.

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Help me with: The Moment
Eric. offline Verified User (10 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 19 #
Los Angeles, CA, US | 5 months ago (9 hours, 4 minutes after post)

I’ve gotten the same feeling with observing myself. Not big on 20s erotica though.

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AKITHMA offline Verified User (11 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 15 #
An Undisclosed Location | 5 months ago (9 hours, 21 minutes after post)

Yrja you got there already babe,that bullet proof glass is just clouding the vision,find that sledgehammer,to see clearly you must have perfect vision,critics are raving,your heading for stardom like those old pictures, the bare truth will be exposed and you will be that woman you admire so much carefree and stripped of all burden and doubt,carefree and unashamed of the self image,i quess the fashion industry has made you see the real beauty of woman yeh and it aint a pair of pretty panties or a red bra lol.
Inside that wonderous big beautiful heart of yours is that spirit of freedom yearning for exposure ,to be free,the nausia is the dress youll be forced to wear at the wedding huh, will you catch the bouquet i wonder?!the old man i quess wants you to write the next line,hes waiting for responce, did the audience approve?is there an encore?questioning on the inside reflecting quietly,like you the world he sees thru his glass may not be what he envisioned,he has closed the curtain on his theatres stage,he sees the show going on though his part in the play has come and gone,he sees not the fat naked lady of your reflections and contemplations but hears the fat lady singing instead,for him the show is over, but for you ,those scenes are unwritten ,and there are so many chapters remaining in the book of Yrja,are you the star who everyone is waiting for,you got my vote for best actress,keep the dream alive ,keep hoping,keep believing ,the climax is coming,will the ending shock everyone leave the awe struck?or will there be a sequel? Yrja 11 the mystery continues,be kind, be true ,belong to your self,behold you are beheld of many

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Help me with: BABYLON X MASS
Silverwings offline Verified User (1 year, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 7 #
Adolphus, KY, US | 5 months ago (9 hours, 44 minutes after post)

Yrja wrote:

annlovestars wrote:
Is it true you are looking for more interaction ?
Thats what I understand from the text.

Probably. Meaningful interaction. Who doesn’t crave meaningful interaction? Is that not what we all are looking for?

Welcome to the site..hope you find many friends here… and much feedback…

I think the one thing that we need most in our lives as humans, is acceptance…. of ourselves. and others….. and there is both pain, and pleasure in this journey… sounds like you are def. on your way, and I wish you well…

Anonymous wrote:
It’s like the Maid of Honour thing has made you realise that everything is shifting towards a different kind of life - the one that used to seem so far away just a short time ago. The naked ladies with their carefree innocence and buttery baby skin is taking you right back to where you were once safe from the harshness of the grown up world - it’s childhood and mother love combined.

I really liked this post…. hope you did too….

Blessings….

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Help me with: Come, Rest Awhile…
red fox offline Verified User (8 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 11 #
Mount Laurel, NJ, US | 5 months ago (19 hours, 34 minutes after post)

I’m kinda in a similar state, I suppose. Still trying to figure out who these critics are though. It’s like, am I living for them, or me?

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cattail offline Verified User (9 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 8 #
Newark, NJ, US | 5 months ago (23 hours, 50 minutes after post)

Are you a writer? The way you wrote all that was awesome!! :)

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fletcher offline Verified User (1 year, 3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 36 #
AU | 5 months ago (1 day, 17 hours after post)

Ahh I do want to cuddle and kiss you a little bit Yrja.

I generally feel the same in comparison to the first paragraph, nothing hits the potential or emotional punch that I imagine or want to feel in my mind. I think “Hmm her tongue is kind of gooey. Why is she kissing me? I wish I would feeling something,” when I was kissed.

I agree with the art deco erotica. Those woman seem curvy, beautiful and womanly in a way that models of this era just don’t reach at all - they’re more like manicans for products, instead of strong (and intimidating *.*) monuments to feminity and the power of the female body.

No message in the window -.-

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Yrja offline Verified User (8 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
Reykjavík, 10, IS | 5 months ago (1 day, 19 hours after post)

Yer all the besteses! Such good uns comment on my posts :) I’m very lucky.

Thanks Florie. I’ll totally check that movie out.

Aki…and all else on to cheer me up…yer so sweet. The thing is…I don’t really feel that bad well… in comparison to other periods in my life. This one is quite good because even though I feel like a spectator at least I’m observing. It’s better then turning a blind eye.

I was kind of surprised with some of the responses I got cause the post didn’t feel all that dark to me when I wrote it :) I guess it was darker then I thought…

Actually (I know this sounds bad) but the shock and the neusia was more about being chosen for this task. Why would she choose ME for such a responsible task. This special day….is she not worried that I’d screw it all up for her? I do not have dreams of rings on fingers and white dresses myself.

Yes….who are the critics? I’m thinking about that a lot these days aswell. I’ve also been observing my behaviour around certain people that make me nervous. Why do I think that those individuals are criticizing me more then others? It’s a very interesting observation actually. Quite amusing sometimes.

Thanks for the writing comments guys. I’ve been trying to write in icelandic cause I’m afraid that my english is not good enough…but then it’s kind of easier for me to express myself in english - feelings and such. The vocabulary is different.

fletcher wrote:
Ahh I do want to cuddle and kiss you a little bit Yrja.

Well get on over here then! I’ll bake pancakes.

Yall peoples are the swellest you know? I wish I could have a dinner party and invite you all! - I have this thing….I always want to cook for people I like :) I could set a date….like the 18th of august 8 pm icelandic time I’m having a dinner party in m little appartment in Reykjavik. Yer all invited :) yay!

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Florie offline Verified User (8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 115 #
An Undisclosed Location | 5 months ago (1 day, 20 hours after post)

sounds lovely - I’ll be there!

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Help me with: The Moment
Patric1 offline Verified User (5 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 6 #
An Undisclosed Location | 4 months, 2 weeks ago (2 weeks, 2 days after post)

Those women look like that because women were more feminine, that was their role in life. They had men hoping and closing doors, standing up when they entered the room and catching them when they fainted. Oh, how wonderful, now women want to open the doors by themselves and men don’t know whether to let them or whether they are going to be punched in the face for doing this small thing for them. If women let men be courtious to them, men would feel they had a reason for being there.
Well, I think so anyway. Go be that maid of honour, enjoy the dress and looking like those women before they took all their clothes off - you could go home and act that bit out on your own later:0

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