marriage help: Awkward situation, im planning my wedding but my parents are - Help.com

hmmm….maybe try a calm compromisism? try to find a half way thing or at least a 25-75 in their favor…since it is their money true but also your day..if that helped..

its really hard, they keep telling me there paying and telling me its there desision…im tempted to say i dont wnt them to pay, but i just dnt wnt to proparly fall out…but its about me and my fiance not mum nd dad

that’s true.. well what’s the harm in paying it yourself?

Pay for your own wedding.

But they gave my brother 10,000 and they really wanna pay for the wedidng

It’s your wedding, if you want something they won’t pay for, pay for it yourself.

true,true, i just hope they understand,dhe cnt accpt i want a low key wedding and an amazing honeymoon and she wants a fancy wedding!!

grrrr

Your the one getting married, not your mom.

i know, she wnat everyone to match and have a fancy cake in a fancy reception after…i just wanna have abbq at the beach!!

she thinks im selfish!! argh!!

that’s weird to think you’re selfish..since you’re growing up and moving on with your future husband it might be cool to just do it yourself…to show you’re grown up

well she thinks im really weird that i dont care if there matching or not and she wants people to be impressed and i dont give a crap what people think, i just want to marry the man i love to bits!!

it broke my heart today when she said she didnt care about the marriage just the day..thats actually what she said!!!!

the problem is if i pay she will begrudge coming and make me miserable on the day and fell crap

ever thought about just going to a tropical spot and getting married there alone? It’s very romantic.

You mom could always plan a reception for when you come back…however she likes it and pays for it.

yes, thats exactly what i wanted to do but i wnt my friends and family to celebrate t with me!

she could plan the reception but she wants to spend 2,000 and i want to spend 800, more money she spends less towards the honey moon

well they can celebrate with you when you get home at the reception… that mom can pay how ever much she wants to pay for and decorate it how ever she like.

You pay for your tropical honeymoon/wedding and make it your dream wedding.

OR you just put your foot down…this is what I want and if you don’t want to pay for it I understand, then I will because this is my day and it only comes once in a lifetime.

Anonymous wrote:
well she thinks im really weird that i dont care if there matching or not and she wants people to be impressed and i dont give a crap what people think, i just want to marry the man i love to bits!!

it broke my heart today when she said she didnt care about the marriage just the day..thats actually what she said!!!!

the problem is if i pay she will begrudge coming and make me miserable on the day and fell crap

hmmm.. that’s not very nice of her..well maybe i can understand her wanting her kid’s wedding to be all nice…cause parents are like that..it’s understandable.. maybe try to do a little mix of fancy casual things? or help her realize that you’re an adult now… and you can do it how you want..and it’s not your fault she doesn’t like it that way

thank you, i started to feel like i was becoming the selfish one, i just wanna have the best day i can, my fiance was discusted by the way she talked to me, it really did hurt me, i just hope it doesnt take the shine off the wedding, i mean im not missing something am i , it is all about me and trevor getting married and thats it???

Anonymous wrote:
thank you, i started to feel like i was becoming the selfish one, i just wanna have the best day i can, my fiance was discusted by the way she talked to me, it really did hurt me, i just hope it doesnt take the shine off the wedding, i mean im not missing something am i , it is all about me and trevor getting married and thats it???

hey.. he should have been..that was kinda mean of your mom to say. it’ll probably bring some unhappy things up but the only thing that does matter is that you two’ll be together. and that should be the only good thing

well not good thing…but important

yeh:)

well i jsut want everyone to be happy, but shes not talking to me atm,

grrrr,

i think she thinks be ignorant 21 yr old university students!!

Me personally, I would do what I want to do- my way- if she doesn’t want to be involved in it then so be it. But that is me.

Anonymous wrote:
yeh:)

well i jsut want everyone to be happy, but shes not talking to me atm,

grrrr,

i think she thinks be ignorant 21 yr old university students!!

i don’t think ignorance has much to do with age haha but i hope that you do get that fixed and your wedding goes well

id love to adopt that attitude, ill just see how it pans out, if worst comes to worst ill pay,

i hope it goes well too:)

mum is refusing to talk to me!!! grrrrrrrr!!

it is your wedding day, not your mothers. Do it your way.

Your wedding day will be a day that you should never forget. The wedding is about you and your loved one. It is great that your family wants to pay for the wedding, but you also don’t want to put a “wall” up around you and your family after the whole thing is over. It may be in your best interest to pay for it yourself or come to a compromise. Whatever happens, keep strong ties with your family and maybe have a heart to heart with your family. Your wedding day is just one day, when you have a whole lifetime to enjoy with your future spouse.

I do feel I have to say that people told me to keep ties with my family and I feel that was bad advice. I believe that people base their ideals on their own families rather than taking the wider view.

Maybe your family are the people who put up the wall?

It is your day, not a day for compromises.

I agree not everybody has a family that they keep ties with. That is up to you and your situation.