Feel help: I did something really bad. - Help.com

I know things like that are tough. Believe me.

But out of curiosity, to help the replies, what was it? It may have not been that serious.

Do something nice for the person you hurt

Maybe you can understand you only did it because you were hurt and didn’t have your wits about you when you did whatever it is you did…..we all make mistakes like this…it’s called being a human.

Well, there’s an anonymous community website that my ex used to use to share her thoughts, feelings, and vent about things, anonymously.

I accidentally found out which account was hers (Partially her fault, since she introduced me to the site so that I would vent to her less).

Where I really ****** up was not telling her. We had already both been using the site for months, but she had already figured out which account was mine, though I never discovered hers. When I did discover hers, I didn’t tell her. I thought it would be harmless. I purposely avoided the thoughts that I knew would invade her privacy too much, and she already knew mine, so it seemed fair.

Anyway, a week or so later, she posted a thought about waking up in bed with a man for the past several nights and detailing many of her infatuations with him. This man wasn’t me.

I maturely confessed the source with which I found out about her affair, apologized (She didn’t blame me, she acknowledged it was an accident and that it was partially her fault for introducing me to the site), and promptly ended the relationship.

Unfortunately, me being the overly emotional person that I am, went through many ranges of emotions varying from depression to anger. I used the site to vent about these emotions, and obviously with her knowing my account, she got caught in the crossfire of all the things that I said which were hurtful.

It’s not that I was too stupid to realize that she’d read what I didn’t want her to. I purposely used the website as a weapon to say hurtful things to her that I couldn’t say directly to her face. This seemed fair, at the time, since she used the site to talk about another man right under my nose.

We’ve since reconciled our differences in the relationship, but I ruined a sacred place for her, even if was just a web site. And I hurt her so much that she hasn’t gotten over the things that I said about her.

I obviously had my reasons to be angry, but I should have emailed her the things I wrote rather than attacking her where she felt most safe.

I think I may be missing the boat and not understanding this fully…but if she is youe ex, why does it matter who she is in bed with?

She wasn’t my ex then, obviously. Sorry if I worded it strangely.

no, it’s me…I probably didn’t follow it well.

I wouldn’t beat yourself up over it…it just showed that you care about her and iit hurt you to heat those things. If anything she is to blame too. The good thing is both you can forgive eachother and you should forgive yourself.

I know that feeling, it does take some time, after so long I realized it was only a mistake and doesn’t make me evil. You’ll soon realize that it was a passion of the moment thing and people make these mistakes all the time. Relax and try not to think about it, the more you do the longer it will take.