friends help: need help helping someone

yassengregorovich

need help helping someone

Here’s the situation: Someone I know has been kicked out of his parent’s home and is now living in a homeless shelter. He is 19 years of age and graduated highschool with a 3.2 GPA, but was lazy and could’ve done better.

This someone is one of my friends. Today I managed to talk to him on MSN, he found internet access in some cafe. He doesn’t seem to own very much, he said the only things he was able to grab when he left his house was his laptop, and a couple of clothes. Right now, he only owns $22. He’s been out of his parent’s for about a month.

He seems to have trouble getting a job - so far, no one seems to accept his applications.

Unfortunately, he lives across the pond (i.e. in the United States), and I am unable to physically help him. The only way we manage to stay in contact is via MSN.

How can I help him without doing anything stupid and actually making his problems worse?

This open post was written 2 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 187, 18, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post yassengregorovich may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. yassengregorovich is a verified member, has been around for 5 months, 3 weeks and has 6 posts and 40 replies to their name.

Post Tags (13)

united states, friends, homelessness, Internet, state, laptop, Situationist, life, clothing, Month, homeless, job, friend (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (18)

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rstarzboxer 4 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 2 weeks ago (2 minutes after post)

western union him some money??? Find places where he is at that can help him get on his feet.

Help me with: What’s a good name for a online childrens boutique and resale shop?

littlenick 239 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 months, 2 weeks ago (3 minutes after post)

Do you know exactly where he lives?

Help me with: If you are my friend now and wish to remain my friend send me a shout.

yassengregorovich 3 #
Balm Bei Messen, 05, CH | 2 months, 2 weeks ago (3 minutes after post)

Yes, he just told me his adress.

littlenick 239 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 months, 2 weeks ago (4 minutes after post)

Can you mail him things?

Help me with: If you are my friend now and wish to remain my friend send me a shout.

littlenick 239 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 months, 2 weeks ago (5 minutes after post)

What state?

Help me with: If you are my friend now and wish to remain my friend send me a shout.

yassengregorovich 3 #
Balm Bei Messen, 05, CH | 2 months, 2 weeks ago (7 minutes after post)

Ohio, and no, I can’t mail him, it would be too expensive. I have a limited budget only.

littlenick 239 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 months, 2 weeks ago (9 minutes after post)

Well, exactly what does he need? Money, clothes, food, what? Would you trust this site with his address so maybe he’ll get those things from some of us?

Help me with: If you are my friend now and wish to remain my friend send me a shout.

yassengregorovich 3 #
Balm Bei Messen, 05, CH | 2 months, 2 weeks ago (10 minutes after post)

Not the site, but the messaging system. I don’t know what he needs, I’ll talk to him in 20 mins and see what’s going on. But with $22, one can’t get too far.

littlenick 239 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 months, 2 weeks ago (14 minutes after post)

What is the messaging system?

Help me with: If you are my friend now and wish to remain my friend send me a shout.

Anonymous #
2 months, 2 weeks ago (14 minutes after post)

What city in Ohio, might I ask?

yassengregorovich 3 #
Balm Bei Messen, 05, CH | 2 months, 2 weeks ago (15 minutes after post)

I’ll give you the adress by PM. Thanks a lot for the offer! I believe $$ is the primary issue here. I might send him some, but like I said, I only have a very limited budget.

littlenick 239 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 months, 2 weeks ago (16 minutes after post)

Post later on with the things he needs and maybe a direct access address. We’ll try to help. Make sure that he gets the help and that is a legitimate need.

Help me with: If you are my friend now and wish to remain my friend send me a shout.

sunshinebaby 8 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 months, 2 weeks ago (17 minutes after post)

I’m sorry that picture startled me so much i forget what im supposed to be writing about!

Help me with: Attention: Einsteins!

This reply has been removed.

yassengregorovich 3 #
Balm Bei Messen, 05, CH | 2 months, 2 weeks ago (27 minutes after post)

Unfortunately, I know none of the above. He just dissappeared from MSN, I don’t think he’ll be talking to me anytime soon. I’ll try to give him this site though so he can get help from you people. Thanks everyone, I would have never thought people here would seriously help someone out with a problem like this!

yassengregorovich 3 #
Balm Bei Messen, 05, CH | 2 months, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 24 minutes after post)

Ok, he’s worked at Kings Island (amusement park), Dairy Queen, and Retail stores. He can’t really move, he has no capital except for the $22. Not even a bank account. He’s 19.

sunshinebaby 8 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 months, 2 weeks ago (3 hours, 12 minutes after post)

It’s a little hard to hear this but I’ve been down this road before. The short answer is you can’t help someone who isn’t willing to help himself.

It’s not easy. The whole being cruel to be kind. Because you will always blame yourself when something goes wrong.

But you also need to be practical. There is only so much you can do. You can’t live his life for him, can’t make better choices for him and you can’t protect him from his own mistakes.

You need to let him be a man.

A part of you has to be ready to step back and say, “Hey man, I can’t do this for you. If you want to get a hold of your life then I’m happy to help you but I can’t spoon feed you”

Sometimes when we care so much we end up stifling the person when they really need to grow.

It’s the hardest thing in the world. I took me 4 years to pull myself out of the mess that I got in. 4 years to realize that I couldn’t live someone else’s life when they were dying inside. Because chances are I would have died along with them. A part of me feels like it did. But the story doesn’t end so badly. Because that person is up and living a life of their own. She was my very close friend and now we barely talk. But I’m happy because I can breathe.

Did that help at all?

Help me with: Attention: Einsteins!

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