girl help: i’ve been dating a guy with a drinking problem. - Help.com

laurenwatkin
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i’ve been dating a guy with a drinking problem.

he has been doing well, and i think in time he will get things under control, but right now it goes back and forth. today is mother’s day. his mother died abruptly a few years ago and he took it really hard. he showed up at my apartment drunk today, stumbling around, knocking things over, and swore at me repeatedly when i asked him to keep his voice down because my roommate was trying to study for a project she has due tomorrow.

he wouldn’t leave my apartment and told me i would have to get the cops to make him leave. eventually i talked him into going outside. he swore at me and called me a bi*ch in front of three little girls walking alongside their mother. it broke my heart. he was being rude to everyone who passed by us.

he wanted me to go with him to a bar and i told him no. i said i would stay with him, but i wouldn’t drink and i wouldn’t watch him drink. he chose to go and drink alone over being with me.

i know he is hurting today and i want to stand by him and support him, but the way he treats me like that is just too much to handle. i feel bad that i left him there when i know he is hurting so much. he was pleading and asked me to please go and drink whiskey with him to remember his mother’s birth. it breaks my heart. i am trying to be strong and to support him as best as i can. i feel like i should be there with him now, and make an exception because i know he is in pain, but i feel like this is always going to be the case and i have to draw the line somewhere.

should i suck it up, go out and meet him, and stand by him tonight? he is in pain and it kills me to feel like i am abandoning him. he has been doing really well recently and i really think this is a temporary slip up. it is so hard for me to understand him.

This open post was written 2 months, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 158, 5, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post laurenwatkin may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. laurenwatkin is not a verified member, has been around for 2 months, 1 week and has 1 posts and 8 replies to their name.

Post Tags (10)

death, Watch, Pain and nociception, alcoholism, Mother's Day, girl, heart, whisky, Year, Human voice (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (5)

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jl.fms offline Verified User (1 year, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
Lisboa, 14, PT | 2 months, 1 week ago (11 minutes after post)

There’s a limit to what your patience’s limits should go for. Be for him, but if he starts walking all over you then it’s time to move on.

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mas1s offline Verified User (4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 667 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 1 week ago (24 minutes after post)

Dump this guy unless you want a poverty stricken future with no holidays, deformed kids and a criminal record. If he’s such a good guy he will put himself in rehab. Every instinct you have is screaming that this is wrong. Get him to hell out of your life. If you make excuses for him - because you love him - you’d better be ready to stand at the graveside with your probably addicts in the future kids and - bury him.
You have a future and so does he. Right now it’s not a future you can have together. Get on with your life and stay strong - do him a favour and tell him exactly - by letter if you want - why you dont want to give up your hopes and dreams to go and drink whisky. just do it - you are going to go down with him otherwise. Leave him , dump him and dont look back

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notjitka089 offline Verified User (2 months, 1 week) Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 1 week ago (1 day, 15 hours after post)

Leave this man, he will ruin your life, trust me I know. I also tried to stand by my man, he is a drunk and now my little baby daughter will have to deal with a drunken idiot dad her whole life and my heart breaks for her. RUN don’t walk, you are not responsible for him and trust me he will never do right by you or any children you may have by him. Life is too short and there are good men out there, this man is NOT one of them

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cuquilove offline Verified User (2 months) Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months ago (5 days, 18 hours after post)

RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN! I am 57 years old and I have been back and forth trying to help the love of my life! Well… now I can see after all this time that he is not going to change, he has ruined my life, I am about to lose my house, and at this stage of the game I DON’T CARE. LEAVE NOW, DON’T LOOK BACK!

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blackrock offline Verified User (1 month, 3 weeks) Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 3 weeks ago (2 weeks after post)

If you care for him you’ll leave. If he gets cleaned up then you could see him again but you are only enabling him if you stay with him. He needs to understand that there are consequences for his actions and that it is not acceptable behavior. If you want to find him some help try this website: http://www.alcoholtreatmentclinics.com

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