life help: At age 50, I ran away from home–I had to. - Help.com

Join an aid group and leave for India. That’s what I’m going to do. I see myself ending up in much the same situation as you. Surrounding myself with people who neither suite me nor do me any good. I feel the best approach to this would be to just leave the country and head for India, maybe Nepal. I’d join an aid group or join a commune. Who knows. These are my plans, I hope they offer some inspiration to you. Each needs to find their own way of dealing though.

First I would like to offer you a free copy of my book, “Can someone please tell me why my life sucks”. It would be an ecopy sent via email that you could print out. You can find out more about the book and email me via my website at www.greenmancoaching.com This is something I offer any member of help.com that asks. But you have to email me first so I can reply and send you a copy.

The fact that you say you cannot get a job is selling yourself short. You can get a job. I understand that it can be difficult, but it is not impossible The thing keeping you from a job is not your experience, it is your attitude. You have skills you need to learn what they are and how to sell them.

Then if you are serious about starting a new life here is what you do…
Once you are working again, start repaying all the people that you’ve hurt and/or defrauded. Reparation should be a part of your “new life”. To leave those doors open is only another way to allow pain and suffering into your life. Reparation is the only way to close those doors.

Bright blessings ~ Richard

I, too, am undertaking a great journey. I am leaving everything I have worked for behind. It is painful for me to leave so much behind, but it was painful while I was here. I have lost my marriage, my home, my church and finally . . . I resigned from an excellent paying job. Yes, the pain is great. I will stay a few more days in the house that will go to my former spouse. I am like a ghost there. I have prayed that I could just reset the clock to about five years ago, and wake up to solve all the problems that led to all of this. But I cannot do that.

I am going to another country where I have someone waiting for me, someone who wants me and loves me and honors me. I had no honor at home with my previous family, though I served my country in its military for over 20 years and led a chivalric order. My former spouse daily crucified me for the injustices done to her by her father and first husband. She hid bills and bank statements from me, and was determined to plunge us into financial ruin. I went to my priest and he sanctioned her behavior, saying, “All women spend money!” I went to marriage counseling with him, but the sessions were always about me and what I had done or not done, and never about anything my spouse needed to change or correct. But the first thing he did was to give us the names of lawyers. After that, it was very hard to recover, for lawyers like to push things so they will get money. My priest did us grave damage. He subscribed to the “school of counseling” that holds if you fix the man, you’ve fixed the marriage. There really is such a prevailing doctrine today, and some of you who have seen marriage counselors know what I mean.

But I would say to you, Anon, that you are younger than I and you still have many good years ahead of you. I would TRY to clear my name, first of all. If it takes filing for bankruptcy, then do it. Do not worry about what people will think of you. I do not believe that people will go to hell for declaring bankruptcy. But I do believe that the people who hook others on credit cards, and charge usurious interest rates, and devour the homes of families who cannot pay adjustable rate mortgages–these moneylenders are indeed in danger of hell.

The aid mission sounds like a good idea. I went on a mission to Pakistan for just a short while, and was reviled by my then-wife for it. I went to free Christian religious prisoners (are you listening, Muslims?) who were charged with blasphemy against Islam and Muhammad. But because I could not free them right away, my wife told me that my mission was a failure. Later, we were able to free some of the prisoners. But I had no honor at home.

You need your honor restored. Yes, make amends where you can. And get into a church and do what you can. Eschew leadership roles until you are firm in your faith. Seek absolution from a priest for all of your past misdeeds. That will lift a huge burden of guilt from your shoulders. Also, lose your fear. Embrace God and trust Him to deliver you through all trials. It does not matter what the world thinks of you. The greatest triumph in history–the Crucifixion and Resurrection of Christ–is viewed as a tragic failure by the world. Those of this world see the death of a religious leader; the Christian sees the death and resurrection of the Son of God as the assurance of eternal life and salvation. Do not, my friend, judge yourself by the standards of this world!

I hold myself up not as an example of a pure or righteous person, but as an example of the fact that God will use whom He will use. I will tell you that I was on the pathways of the dead before God lifted me up and sent me on that special mission.

You have been beaten and battered by this world, and the Enemy has tried to break your heart to keep you out of the fight. Allow God to heal your wounds and restore you, and put you back into the fight!

You have already taken the first step. Find a church and ask God to reveal your purpose in the divine plan. Then fulfill your part. That is the best that any of us can hope to do!

You are here, so that is a great sign… the truth is you want to do something to start fixing your life again!! This can be a new beginning right here and now then!!

The others have already offered great advice above.

Why not start writing in a journal and make a list of things you want to change about your life… then go back and think of the realistic solutions that can improve things for each problem. Take one step at a time… and you will start feeling much better as you work on these goals!!

Can you possibly move away from that dangerous area you are in? And what about your “dysfunctional marriage”? … is that over and done with, or is there any chance of returning?