Love help: My boyfriend wont let me say I love you.

NotoriousKYA

My boyfriend wont let me say I love you.

I only recently decided that i really do care for him a lot… but im afraid to say i love you because a while ago i told him that i thought i was falling in love with him and he said i wasnt allowed.. i said why and he said because he isnt a very nice person..(and i know what he means cause he likes to ***** and complain but he’s really a sweet softie inside, besides we get along great and i never feel mistreated.) since then we have moved in together and everything is perfect and we are really happy together.. or at least I am… last night i told him i loved him in his sleep.. because i really want to say it now.. and i wish he would fall in love with me too but he just made a sound like “no” or “uh uh” and fell back to sleep. I wasn’t so bothered by it cause i expected that reaction but I wish I knew what to say to figure out how he feels.. if we are planning on being together for a while (its been 7 months now) why can’t i say i love you.. because i do think i love him now.. im just afraid of being hurt.. in the past i’ve been really fast about saying i love you and falling in love but with him i took my time… he’s never been in love.. is that why he’s afraid to let me love him? He’s a very driven and intelligent man (he’s my exact opposite super good at math and science etc) I am a hippie artist type whos really good at literature, history, and art. He’s not so good at showing or expressing emotion cause of his super geek type personality.. but i know he feels it… but it hurts that he wont let me love him and makes me wonder if its worth it or if he’ll ever love me…. i want to talk to him about it but dont know what to say… he’s super sweet and good to me… is it all just him playing a role? Or do i need to give this computer genius a little more time to get in touch with his inner romantic side… He once told me that he “really” likes me. And that seemed like a huge step for him… but whats the big deal about I love you’s. I love him… for many reasons. I want him to love me back… but if he wont.. i dont want to waste my love on someone who dosent want it/care… done that too many times before. I just can’t suppress the way i feel for much longer. more and more each day I feel happier with him… sometimes when i get down about it and he senses it, he tells me.. you know how i feel.. like he feels the same.. but i really dont know how he feels… he’s never really told me.

This open post was written 3 months, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 1,050, 10, 8 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post NotoriousKYA may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. NotoriousKYA is a verified member, has been around for 4 months, 2 weeks and has 17 posts and 242 replies to their name.

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Love, man, Side, Feels, Super, Feel, Love Him, afraid, told (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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kathleen 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 1 week ago (6 minutes after post)

You should just take a deep breath and say it, don’t plan when. it’ll just pop out in an unexpected manor. Nothing bad can ever come from an ‘I love you’.

Help me with: does it bother anyone else - how stressful life is?

upsilon222 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 1 week ago (9 minutes after post)

I’m a scientist, so let’’s look at your evidence: he is being good to you, making you happy, looking after you… if you’re down he cheers you up. He never says I love you.

My conclusion: He loves you, just in actions, not in words.

I think: Give him more time, keep loving him. If you like telling him you love him, don’t expect him to say it back immediately… he might do something nice for you instead of saying it back.

Help me with: just rambling.

bohemian-dream 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 1 week ago (16 minutes after post)

I agree with the last statement. For some people, love is seen as unwise and even, dangerous. For others, it’s easy to express. He doesn’t want to say it with the fear that he might not mean it…which probably means he does love you. Maybe you should just tell him you love him…you know he can’t say it back but you want him to know. He’ll feel more secure, and it’ll probably make your relationship better for it.

Help me with: New Post!

snowflake048 112 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 1 week ago (6 hours, 8 minutes after post)

Well, I’m a math and science nerd and I’m still affectionate. I really don’t think that’s the problem. He’s probably just scared. Try to talk to him (calmly) about all of this, tell him how you feel and listen to how he feels. Communication is key.

Help me with: Russia Vs Georgia.

circleches 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 1 week ago (1 day, 15 hours after post)

Everyone is different. The key to a good relationship is to realize this and respect each other. You know he doesn’t want you to say that, so don’t. You have to do personal self-reflection and think about what matters the most. There is no such thing as “normal”. Just because other people might say it all of the time, doesn’t mean that it is comfortable for other people to do. If he is obviously uncomfortable by it the best way you could reciprocate your love is by respecting this. Sometimes there are sacrifices that are worth letting go of in order to maintain the peace and love. This sounds like one of those moments. Don’t you think that by letting him wait until he is ready it will be so much more meaningful when he finally does let the words slip from his beautiful lips? Don’t rush things and don’t listen to selfish people who think you should override his comfort for your wants. When you love someone, you are willing to wait until they are ready to love you back.

NotoriousKYA 3 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (2 days, 4 hours after post)

well, he hasnt said I love you but last night while i was asleep he curled up to me and told me that he was sorry if he was ever mean to me and that he wanted me to know that he really cares for me alot. It wasnt an I love you but it certainly meant a whole lot to hear him say it… ^_^

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upsilon222 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (2 days, 6 hours after post)

awww he is really sweet =)

Help me with: just rambling.

snowflake048 112 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (2 days, 9 hours after post)

at least you know when he does say it, that he means it :O)

Help me with: Russia Vs Georgia.

jojordan2 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 2 weeks ago (2 weeks, 6 days after post)

I have been in a relationship with a man who started as a very good friend and it grew into a very stong loving relationship and I too thought the conection is there I could feel it all along why is he not willing to say it and two years went by before he said I Love You but when he did there was no dought in my mind that he loves me with all his heart and sole and that was the greatest feeling in the world. I wish everyone could feel that kind of love.
So hang in there and it could be well worth it.

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lucky3n #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 2 weeks ago (1 month, 2 weeks after post)

well action speaks louder than words so just keep it that way

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My boyfriend wont let me say I love you.

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