Love help: i hurt my girlfriend verbally while i was drunk.. - Help.com

screw her. She’s a *****. Move on.

You were just honest dude. You would not speak to anyone like that if you didn’t feel it. You are holding on to her right now. “Is she serious” is your question. Did she “really” dump you or is it a game or warning. Wait it out continue doing what you are doing (counseling etc) and see what happens. Also she made HER decision and dumped you and if she is serious and has moved on - you will just look like a dufus if you crawl back to her. In that case find someone else make her jealous.

You must try to understand how damaging that type of behavior is to others. No matter what you do, she’s going to remember that moment for the rest of her life. Do you really expect her to overcome those feelings in 3 weeks? Come on…that’s really asking a lot. I hope you’ve stop drinking completely; if you can’t handle yourself on alcohol then you shouldn’t consume any at all. Period. Keep talking to her, communication has to be the most important aspect between the two of you now. You should honestly be happy that she’s even speaking to you, being friends with someone who has abused you is a difficult task. After you’ve proven yourself to her for a WHILE she might reconsider a relationship. Can you honestly blame her for how she’s feeling?

The key word here is “drunk” talkiing form experience , when your drunk you hurt alot of people some beyond repair . I hope you guys work it out but maybe just maybe this may be one of those times .Good luckl…..show her she’s more important then the alcohol !!!

I say become drunk more and find another drunk and live in a dumpster.

Anonymous wrote:
screw her. She’s a *****. Move on.

LOL!

Anonymous wrote:
I say become drunk more and find another drunk and live in a dumpster.

LOL the most funnest pointless advice ever

anonymous, who are you?

spiritedsoul wrote:
anonymous, who are you?

Actually I am a regular on here. I just like being anonymous.

but to the anonymous who sent this post,
go up to her and ask her if she wants to be with you. do this one to one with no one around at a good judgement of time when nothing busy is going on. that way ull get a straight answer and know for definate. if she says yes, all goes well. if she says no, then ull have to try ur best and move on.

have we spoken before? we know each other?

Anonymous wrote:

spiritedsoul wrote:
anonymous, who are you?

Actually I am a regular on here. I just like being anonymous.

have we spoken before? we know each other?

You know getting drunk and being in a relationship simply is the recipe for abuse lies cheating.. Your girlfriend is teaching you a lesson in cause and effect… If she was to coddle you and take you back you probably would not change.. So in effect shee is giving you such a gift of love to you by leaving you..Ultimately if you love youself enough you will sober up for yourself and work on the stuff that drove her away.. Maybe at that point you two would have grown apart but its all speculation now.. Change is good..I know I am not making friends right now but am giving you the best advice through my own life experiences.. So curse me out its OK God Bless

Stay cool my friend…..just dont be too eager to make things right in a hurry , you have to prove yourself again to this girl , time is your only weapon in all this , show her you care and wont make the same mistake again…the rest will follow , What will be will be.

It sounds like you truly regret what happened and have sought help… things are better between you. Why not straight out ask her… tell her you are sorry, point out how things have improved and you got counseling, ask if she will forgive you and give you another chance. Tell her you want your girlfriend back. Maybe she just wants more time to feel reassured first… depending on what you said, it could be very hurtful and hard to get over it for some time.

Emotional abuse can ruin a relationship quickly… it ruins the trust and security with a person. I’m sure you’ve learned a lesson… and even when drinking, we have to remain responsible for our behavior and not drink so much that we are out of control either.

I think you should move on… seems to me that she wanted to break before this incident happened and only used it as an excuse… a lame one at that. Find someone else! :)

dizzydaisy wrote:
I think you should move on… seems to me that she wanted to break before this incident happened and only used it as an excuse… a lame one at that. Find someone else! :)

How is that a lame excuse? He’s an alcoholic who verbally abused her.

snowflake048 wrote:

dizzydaisy wrote:
I think you should move on… seems to me that she wanted to break before this incident happened and only used it as an excuse… a lame one at that. Find someone else! :)

How is that a lame excuse? He’s an alcoholic who verbally abused her.

From what it seemed to me, this was a one time deal… and not like he does it all the time. I only assume he happened to be drunk, and no where in his post did it lead me to believe he was an alcoholic. It’s obvious he truly regrets whatever he did and he regretted it enough to seek counseling afterwards. People make mistakes!! No one is perfect, which also isn’t an excuse to go around mentally, or physically abusing someone. However, I feel that if she truly felt threatened enough by him, she wouldn’t have stuck around as a “friend” later on after the incident…especially not within 3 weeks…

Even if he may have said some pretty hateful things… we don’t know what was said or what exactly went on, and can only look at the situation based on what he has told us. For all we know he could have said “f**k you” and someone claimed it as verbal abuse… everyone reacts to different words differently. If he were to have said he “physically abused” his gf, now that would have been a different story.

Actually, he didn’t even say “verbal abuse.” He said he hurt her verbally, so all we can really assume is that he said some mean things and hurt her feelings.

The counseling is what made me believe that he was an alcoholic. You don’t usually go to counseling if you just happen to be drunk.

Either way, he has to decide if it’s worth it to him, but I definitely can’t say I wouldn’t have done exactly what she did. In fact, I have.

Again, he would have to clarify this for us. He could have went to counseling for anger management or something. In any case, I have been in a situation like this myself, being the one who was “hurt verbally” and I didn’t high tail it out of the relationship first chance I got. My bf was beyond drunk and said some PRETTY hateful things… and got pretty scary, but I took it at that… he was drunk. It was a one time thing. He never sought counseling, nothing… it was a pretty scary thing, but we also had an open relationship where we talked about everything… we remained together for a few years after that… and that played NO part in the break-up.

It just seems fishy to me that she got so scared she broke up with the guy, yet she’s still hanging around him and saying I love you… yada yada. Either way, I think he just needs to move on… and maybe seek some more counseling in case this could be something serious.

Well, either way though I stand firm by the belief that being drunk isn’t an excuse and you should be held just as accountable for any wrongdoings as you would if you were sober.

Again… this all depends on what was said.. or done. I just don’t think we should be jumping down the poster’s throat and assuming things when we don’t even know exactly what went on. We can only base our advice on the vague words he used to describe the situation (no offense anon), and shouldn’t jump to all kinds of conclusions.

Always remember in all due respects to the poster theres two sides to every story..Sober up and you cant loose anything

aeolian mode wrote:
Always remember in all due respects to the poster theres two sides to every story..Sober up and you cant loose anything

agreed