Love help: Thanks for all the help you guys. - Help.com

crazymomofboys wrote:
no one can make you a better person. That is a choice you made for yourself (w/ her encouragement). Don’t give up the progress you made. Offer your friendship and continue on with your life

Thankyou for the reply.

I disagree with you however, I strongly believe the people we spend time with change us for the better or for the worse.

Anonymous wrote:
i know you love her, that is obvious, and it’s wonderful that you care about her so much. but honestly, if she’s causing you this much pain, she isn’t good for you. she is hurting you too badly for this to continue.

To be honest I wish I could move on, I just depended on her so much that there is few people I can really talk to. And I understand it may appear to that it is counterproductive but she is the person I trust the most (despite what she has done). I am in a vicious circle that I am trying to get out off, I am failing.

Anonymous wrote:
seriously man, dump her ***. she’s terrible for you, look at the state you’re in. it seems like you really care about her which is great but you need to spend more time taking care of yourself than taking care of her. she doesn’t deserve a great friend like you. maybe you could try telling her how you feel and see how it goes? i don’t know all i know is it sounds to me like you need to work on helping yourself to get better. hope it all works out for you man.

I am no longer with her, but the thing is I need to know she is safe otherwise I completely break down. She is still a great friend to me and I would like to continue being her friend, she is a wonderful friend although recent events have crushed my trust in the majority of people.

Anonymous wrote:
what the hell those anonymous pictures are the same. how are you supposed to tell who’s talking?

lol :)

Anonymous wrote:
Would you do something a little wacky just to calm your anxiety and so you could move on?

Perhaps, any suggestions? I know I need to move on, dwelling in the twilight is destroying me.

Anonymous wrote:
Light a candle for her. It’s a beautifull thing and the light and warmth of it is just like the love and trust you once had. Light a candle and invision her as safe and happy. And then try to move on.

I’m trying to move on, I really am. It’s just so hard to move on from living a life where I fall asleep next to her and wake up with her next to me to living a life where I feel alone in the world. I know my friends are trying to be there for me, but they unfortunately can’t replace the void she has left behind.

I need away to branch out, I need to fix the wound she left behind.

To be honest I don’t think I can cope with not being in a relationship.

I like to feel comfortable and safe; I need to feel safe. I never felt safe or loved when I was younger I guess it’s what I crave now.

Anonymous wrote:
i think you should tell her all of this! keeping it inside you is only hurting you. you need to take everything you’ve said in this post and tell it to her, and ask her to try to help you heal because she is obviously part of the problem. hell, she’s the whole problem! you need to work this out so you can get better, and she’s got to help you do it. it seems like she’s the only one who can help.

I have talked to her about this on several occasions, and she is trying to help. But I talk to her because I still trust her and I have no one else who will listen.

There just seems to be no way that she can help as much as someone else who I could talk to fully, as she is only part of the solution and the entire problem.

Anonymous wrote:
the two of you need to go to a therapist. not a couple’s therapist. i think first you should see a therapist by yourself, tell him/her ALL oft this. trust in them, they are required to keep your confidence. then ask if you can bring your friend to a session and talk through it all with the therapist. they’re trained professionals, i promise i you really give it a try the outcome will be a good one. :)

Good idea :), I will talk to her about this and hopefully she will agree, I expect she would. Although she extremely dislikes therapists due to having a terrible one previously.

Thankyou. :)

Don’t worry, I come here to listen and to rant.