How long ago did this happen?
As you said you can’t turn back time and change your past! Your housband can’t just forget it and you can’t expect everything to be ok! BUT don’t worry cause time heals the heart and pain goes away! You know sometimes we make big mistakes but we have to take the presure and the responsability for them ! We can’t run away from them ! We are all human and that’s why we know how to forgive but we need to give time for those who will forgive us! You can’t change the past but you can change the present and the future!We learn from our mistakes and this is good I’m sure that your housband knows either that you regret it give him time :)
Last Friday. Not even a week has passed.
IT does know I regret it and that it would never happen again..He knows I am sorry and that I love him and only him. I know it takes time to heal It is just so hard to wait cause I am in so much pain..I know he is in more pain but we hurt together…and a lot of it is silent pain
I think an affairs is going to take years to overcome. It takes a lot of work and a lot of time to build trust again.
It seem that your relationship is missing good communications skills. Because if you were able to talk about how you were feeling, the affair would not of happen in the first place. Have you thought of going to marriage counciling?
Yes I have…it is so depressing thinking about much time it takes to mend something like this. I communicate all the time what I am feeling. He has a problem getting his feelings out…he doesn’t like to talk about what is going on inside hi head. And alot of times he is too tired to listen to my feelings or he doesnt know how to understand.
i can understand that hurts! And the silent pain is the worst but i think you can’t do anything ! maybe you could try to talk with him but i’m not sure if it works! It takes a long time till he refinds his trust in you ! you must wait ! That’s life and it’s troubles onve you make something wrong you must start again and do it till it’s good !
If he will forgive you then start to forgive yourself too ! it has no reason to be upset on yourself all over your life ! It won’t help you at all
what about talking with a close friend about how you feel ? won’t that help?:)
Yes he had forgiven me and I beleive it is heartfelt. But as far as trust and us we both agree it feels like we are starting over. And as far as talking to ta close friend I am limited in those…I have one girl I told about it..but I an introverted person and I have trouble trusting ppl with my heart issues. Talking to yall is easy cause you help me with no bias…
Its been barely a week and your husband probably hasn’t fully come to terms with what he thinks of it. He needs time. You seem to be very sorry for it so he should realise in time that you are sorry but you’ve got to feel the pain you have caused before you can get back together.
I know the pain I have caused NAW264 we are still together. He chose to stay He said he could never leave me.
we help you anytime you need ! many women done this before to their housband ! You did your housband forgived you and this is good ! His heart is probably broken you acn imagine ! You are lucky ! Try not to make him upset in the future you two wil get over it ! In all couples life is a hard time but they can get over it ! as you two will . Don’t worry . your housband choose to stay so it mean he wants to rebuild your relation and marrige with him ! That’s important focus on future and try to forget the past
That is true so I guess I should feel happy. I feel bad mostly because I hurt him and I dont feel like I deserve forgiveness. He told me after I told him that he had cheated on his ex a few times..he never told me that before.but I guess he was trying in his own way to relate to me…to tell me that it is ok..that we are both human..I think that my marriage will last..I just have a lot of work to do..and that stresses me out
I know when I feel hurt or angry with my husband, I tend to go silent for awhile. It takes time for be think through the event and decide if my feeling are valid and how I want to approach dealing with them. Give him a little time to think through his feelings. Eventually he will have to talk about his feelings other wise they just brew anger and resentment. But don’t push him, give him some time.
You will also need to work on forgiving yourself. Don’t let the guilt stick around too long, it will keep you depressed.
I must leave for work now but I feel somewhat better knowing that my marriage may be hurt but that it is going to work…Starting new and fresh means something…it means that I have a man that loves me and the he understands me more than I know…and that is a good feeling. Especially to go to work with. Thank you all for your help.
I know I need to forgive myself and that is my goal.
Until next time….
Yes he wanted you to say that it’s ok ! The world and of course your marrige which is based on tru love it isn’t over with a mistake ! He forgived you and I’m sure he want’s you to forgive your self too! Try it even if it’s hard:)
Happy to help you anytime ! Be happy with him I’m sure you will :) Best wishes
I’m not calling you a bad person - you know you have done wrong but how would you fell if he cheated on you. Empathy is important in a good relationship and I hope you have long happy lives together but for that to happen you need to forgive yourself first by knowing what he is going through.
then hold him and kiss him. like you want to.
friendlyheart
naw264