friends help: Just before college ended, I started talking to a guy in one of my classes. - Help.com

Just before college ended, I started talking to a guy in one of my classes.

We kind of bonded over the fact that our boyfriend/girlfriend of about a year had just broken up with us in very similar ways. We’ve been talking a lot online and he came out yesterday with a big group of us for a picnic, so we talked then too.
He’s the shyest person I know, so I know he wouldn’t really be the one to initiate anything like meeting up. Because we’ve only just broken up with people, I don’t really want to start going out with him or anything (and I’m sure he doesn’t either) but I’d really like to get to know him better and hang out a bit. A lot of my current friends are friends with my ex (who I’m trying to avoid) so I need all the friends I can get, and he and I seem to get along so well.
So I’m wondering, how can I ask him to do something (and what?) without it seeming too much like a “date”? I get the feeling if I said “hey want to go see this film?” he’d think I meant a date and I don’t want to drive him away! I really do just want to get to know him and I don’t know the best way to go about it.
Help?

This open post was written 1 year, 5 months ago | V/U/S: 191, 8, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post ghostteet may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. ghostteet is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 6 months and has 37 posts and 30 replies to their name.

Post Tags (13)

friends, college, Film, broken, Person, Coming out, Bit, On-line and off-line, Big, Picnic, Just Friends, Date, meeting up (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (8)

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HelpBot offline Verified User (0 minutes) Shouts: 5 #
San Francisco, CA, US | 1 year, 5 months ago (0 minutes after post)

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firestorm613 offline Verified User (1 year, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (14 minutes after post)

ok - going to a film will not make you get to know him cuz you will just sit next to each other for 2 hours and not say a word to each other. if you wanna get to know him, go to pizza together. or go to a park together and go on the swingset, its fun and cute, and its just chilling, and you get to talk….
just say, hey whats up? i was wondering if you wanna chill with me today cuz i was thinking of going to the park or maybe pizza… wanna come with me? and you will see that he will be cool with it. and just relax. go for it. he will like you.

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sneakbastid offline Verified User (1 year, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (28 minutes after post)

it’s obvious what you’re insinuating- u want a friend with benefits. Go for it. We love it when girls “just want to hang out a bit”

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Help me with: Why are people phony and fake?
ghostteet offline Verified User (1 year, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (30 minutes after post)

No! thats not what i mean at all. i just want to get to know him better, as he’s so shy when he’s around other people!

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Help me with: first night as a barmaid tonight…
sneakbastid offline Verified User (1 year, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (40 minutes after post)

i’m just playin around. I’m sure he’s attracted to you if he’s acting shy. I don’t think you should worry about planning you next move. Just be yourself and do whatever comes to thought first. It’ll work out.

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Help me with: Why are people phony and fake?
loliverofm offline Verified User (2 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
Orleans, IN, US | 1 year, 5 months ago (54 minutes after post)

maybe just try to break the ice with a more gentle option like ,

” wanna hang out at the park with me while i … (make up any ‘ol excuse) ”

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sneakbastid offline Verified User (1 year, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (55 minutes after post)

or no one’s gonna be around on Friday. Do you want to come over to watch some movies & “hang out a bit”

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Help me with: Why are people phony and fake?
MrsKatieness offline Verified User (1 year, 10 months) Long Term User Shouts: 11 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (3 hours, 26 minutes after post)

Why not just tell him that you want to get to know him better then ask him where two friends can go to hang out.

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Help me with: “Sweatpants, hair tied, chilling with no makeup on // that’s when you’re the prettiest, I hope that you don’t take it wrong…” ( c ) Drake

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