Family help: My mother in law hates me! - Help.com

If you want to stay with your husband you are going to have to accept his visits to his husband with good grace. Instead of ‘being a bit quiet’ upon his return (which leads to a fight), do something fun while he is away. Greet him with smiles and just say you hope he had a good visit. Leave it there and don’t pursue it. Rise above it.

This keeps your husband, stops the fights, you get to do something enjoyable, you look like an angel, and it will wind up his family something rotten as they are not getting what they want! Result!!

Sorry I meant visits to his family, not husband!

I so know how you are feeling, me and my husband have just rowed due to his mum…
shes been a nightmare since we started dating, ive never been good enough for her son, when we went to buy a ring for our engagement(i thought lovely he will take me for a nice meal or somthing like that) no such luck, she came into his bedroom and said congratulations your ingageged, I said HES NOT ASKED ME YET, she has to go and spoil everything, she tryed my wedding dress on after I got marrried, her husband said GET THSAT DRESS OF NOW, just a few years ago my husband went out with her to a pub she could not wait to tell me that they thought she was his WIFE (total cow) and injoyed every moment…. there is loads more I could go on all night about her…..totol bad carma……
But to top all this she was on the gin about 6 weeks ago totaly dissing everyone that I know, my mum was in hospital at the time, she said of my mum O well shes been horrible to you hasent she….my mum past away 2 weeks after and I will not talk to her at all….. she went to my mums funeral my daughters stood up and read a poem for my mum, they had everyone in tears…. She phoned my daughters after to ask then why they never talk to her much at the funeral….total selfish b#### me and my husband have rowed contantly for the last 2 week becouse I will not talk to her…..tell me why should I Ive never said one nasty thing to his mother I dont desere all this…..
All I can say is that your not alone… and I will never be like that to any of my girls husbands and thats a promise..
I think I want a devorce

It’s no dam n wonder she hates you! Why in the WORLD are you not WITH your husband when he visits his folks?

Why are you treating this poor man like some kind of a rope in a tug of war game?

Wives can be replaced. Mothers can not. He only gets one mom. Don’t divide his loyalty, or you may lose.

If either of my grown sons chose to be with a woman who did not understand the importance of family, and who would not accompany him to most family events, I would hate her, too!

Fortunately, that’s unthinkable. Neither of my sons would do that. They both selected lovely, affectionate wives who support them in their love for both sets of parents. These darling women joined our family—they did not demolish it.

If I were you, I would pray that it is not too late to earn their forgiveness—and your husband’s. Then I would pack up my pride and my son and hightail it over to the in-laws’ house to learn how to live in a family.

Certainly, given your history, there will be tensions at first. That’s something you’ll just have to live with. Perhaps (if you are nice to them) they will learn to love you. Perhaps (if you stay cold and aloof) they will not).

One thing’s sure: No one ever repented on his or her deathbed the sin of being too nice to his or her spouse. Stop doing this terrible thing. Give your husband back his united family.

And why should you be walked all over either? Just because you are a ‘mom’ does not make you G*d’s gift. It does not make you right in every situation. Why should the daugher-in-law have to bow to YOUR every command? I don’t think so.

If the Mom hates her so much she is hardly the caring mom she should be, welcoming the son’s wife into the family. Why should she just have to put up with ‘tensions’?

Oh, I get it, you ARE the mother-in-law question. Now I understand.

Follow the advice of Shellfish for a happy life, rather than the botter rantings above.

Anonymous wrote:
botter rantings above.

‘Bitter’

The question is simple.

Do you honor your husband and want what’s best for him? Then go with him.

Do you want your son to have the blessings of grandparents? Then present him with a united family.

Do you want to torture your husband and make his life hell? Then continue dividing his family.

That’s the ticket: make him choose. Then, maybe your NEXT husband will have parents you like better.

Forget that! In the end of your husbands life he is not going to spend it with his mom because his mom would have already passed. His mom may have been there for him in the beginning, but the cycle of life continues! You are the one he wants to grow old with. I don’t want to grow old with my mom. I want to grow old with my husband. Love is all that matters! Forget all those other people who say “Mom is the best thing in the world and you will never compare” They are the bitter ones who probably lost their sons to women, which is the cycle of life. Your mother in law is the bitter one who can’t seem to accept her son’s happiness and feels like you took her place. I understand totally! I have a son as well and vow to never be like the women above as if I have some special right to be #1 in his life. I will love him now and set him free to find his true love. One thing is clear the people that respond anonymous want to stay anonymous because they are the bitter ones. You ARE not dividing the family, the mother in law just can’t let go. Don’t listen to them! Bitter old women! I like Shellfish, find a hobby and have his visit time your fun time! You can get thru this though, almost every woman in the world deals with this. Kuddos!