friends help: My boss has been bullying me for 2 years now and has put me in - Help.com

Can’t he be reported? Harrassment?

Sorry, I’m not a great help

Are you male or female? Have you been promoted or demoted recently? How many hours a week do you work? Why do you think you had the panic attack? Please provide other info, as many relevant details as possible.

Is your resume up to date? Time to start looking. Good things come to those who ask, seek, knock:)

When is the meeting?

You have to tell someone about what’s happening, and write things down, details, dates…..important! Do you have a Human Resources person or a union?? Start writing out what your boss has been doing to you. Don’t worry about the others, they can totally have the wrong idea from things your boss might be saying to them…. but truth will be revealed if you stand up to this!! … and hopefully HE will be told he had better watch his step or be charged with harassment.

Thankyou for you replies, they are much appreciated. The meeting is first thing on Monday am. I had a panic attack because of the general stress I am under in relation to him and came after 3 days of training I am 38, female, was his first employee 6 years ago and has always seemed to have an issue with me. Its little things all the time and regular big things such as this, he often summons me to meetings with no clear agenda other than to tell me off. It got so angry with me once that he sent me home from the office and tried to give me a warning, but he had to withdraw as had broken company procedures. He has also taken a lot of my responsibilities away from me quite subtley, promoting most of my colleagues above me. When I talked to him about the possibility of me leaving, he got extremely angry/upset and then tried to push me out straightaway. It got so bad a few months ago that I told him I didn’t want to leave, just to stop him harrassing me to hand in my notice. He gets away with anything he wants as he is the director of a smallish company and has promoted people to positions who don’t really question him. He’s not actually my line manager anymore so shouldn’t really have called the meeting with me anyway. My main problem is that I just don’t want to go to this meeting but can’t see anyway out. I really need to be calm and strong otherwise will just make the situation worse. My resume is uptodate and am looking for another job but this doesn’t help in the interim! Thankyou again, your comments are really helpful

He sounds like a bully and bullies are tough to deal with. Cattail is right, take good notes, record him with your cell phone:) in your next meeting. Very careful record keeping will put him or the company where they belong:)

Make sure you note how he has added to your stress and brought on panic attacks. If there’s a human resources person, a union, or someone higher up, please talk to them about the situation or give them a confidential memo about everything that’s been happening.. It seems that they could maybe relocate you or give him a warning about his behavior, but first you have to tell someone what’s happening… all of it. You can get through the meeting… see what happens, and then take it up with someone. Be strong, you know what’s what and you can report his harassment.

OK, you have a jerk for a boss. I think I’d go out to Wal-Mart or Radio Shack tonight and get one of those mini-tape recorders, learn how to use it and put it in an inconspicuous place on my person for the meeting. He seems to have an issue with you over “panic attacks,” which could be the result of a physical or psychological condition. If he “starts in on you,” tell him, “Whoa, but I’ve got something causing panic attacks and I’m going to find out what it is. I need my company’s support in this. I’d like to avail myself of the company’s resources (counseling services, health insurance, etc.). This is not something I could help, and blaming me for it is not going to help. There could be an underlying medical problem, and I want a doctor’s diagnosis. You may have your own opinions, but you are not a doctor and neither am I. And until a doctor is brought in on this situation, it’s not going to do any good to talk about it here. In fact, all I really want to say about the matter is that I want all the help the company can provide in helping me with this condition.” So, dearly beloved, you are going to turn whatever “employee problem” he has with you into a MEDICAL PROBLEM that he is incompetent to deal with. Don’t get angry with him, make no accusations, but politely and firmly stand your ground. You could add, “I’ve been feeling stress lately, and I feel that at least some of it is job-related, but I want to engage a doctor to find out why I have panic attacks. This is not a performance issue but a medical/physiological issue, and no one in this room is qualified to make a diagnosis. I appreciate your concern, and I want to support the company, but we cannot make any more headway on this issue in this kind of meeting or forum. And I am sure that the company does not want to substitute its opinion for the judgment of a qualified medical professional.”

Then you go, girl! ;-)

Thankyou for all the advice. I will take the approach re the medical focus as you are right, there is a lot he does not know and shouldn’t be a performance issue. Theres no HR so think will take this up outside of the company, your comments have helped me to work out what I need to do, so thanks so much for taking the time to help me out,