hate help: The pain of my past is paralysing and unbearable.

This post left anonymously

The pain of my past is paralysing and unbearable.

I grew up in an extremely abusive environment.
I wish I was dead and didn’t have to feel anything any more. I hate my body. I cut and bruised my legs legs with scissors and felt excitement when I saw my blood going out of my body. I wished it never stopped running. I want to bleed to death.

This open post was written 1 year, 5 months ago | V/U/S: 341, 11, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

Reciprocity (0)

Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

Post Tags (12)

death, Blood, Pain and nociception, running, Bleeding, scissors, hate, Felt, abuse, Excited state, pain, suicidal (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (11)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen

Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

This reply has been removed.

dzelvaminik 0 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (5 hours, 6 minutes after post)

THANK U 4 REPLY
I have to say that your words somehow touched me. But you can’t comfort me my dear unknown. You don’t even know me, why would you want to beg me to stop?
I am an evil person.
What makes me want to cut myself?
Mostly I hate my body for the way it reacts in certain situations.
I feel that that’s what I deserve - to suffer, because it’s all my fault.
I feel like nothing is real, like I am outside of my body, numb, dead… Cutting makes me feel “alive”
When I see my blood going out of my body, I feel relief, all the inner dirt goes out.
Sometimes I don’t even know why, would you believe it? I just do it without thinking.
Have you ever self-harmed? Or wanted to die?

Ireland-1 invited 1 user to read this post 1 year, 5 months ago.

Help me with: New help.com friend help,

Ireland-1 changed the tags on this post: they were "death, Blood, Pain and nociception, running, Bleeding, scissors, hate, Felt, abuse, Excited state, pain" 1 year, 5 months ago.

Help me with: New help.com friend help,

Ireland-1 changed the tags on this post: they were "death, Blood, Pain and nociception, running, Bleeding, scissors, hate, Felt, abuse, Excited state, pain, suicidal" 1 year, 5 months ago.

Help me with: New help.com friend help,

Ireland-1 changed the tags on this post: they were "death, Blood, Pain and nociception, running, Bleeding, scissors, hate, Felt, abuse, Excited state, pain, suicidal" 1 year, 5 months ago.

Help me with: New help.com friend help,

This reply has been removed.

Gaurdian_Angel 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (6 hours, 50 minutes after post)

Trust me, NO YOU DONT. Ending your life will never solve any thing. ive tried. Wat you should do is get help from a psyciatrist. have them set up days to where you come in and talk to them about your situation. (sort of like therapy) Many people around me and myself had these thoughts, Just talkto someone who can help you

Help me with: Lets say

SoulRising 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (7 hours, 19 minutes after post)

Anon

Are you still with me?

SoulRising 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (7 hours, 20 minutes after post)

SoulRising wrote:
Anon Are you still with me?

I want to talk to you Anon.

SoulRising 2 #
An Undisclosed Location | 1 year, 5 months ago (7 hours, 22 minutes after post)

SoulRising wrote:

SoulRising wrote:
Anon Are you still with me?
I want to talk to you Anon.

I know what it’s like to bleed to know your alive

Invite Others to Help

A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.

hate help: The pain of my past is paralysing and unbearable. - Help.com

The pain of my past is paralysing and unbearable.

Reciprocity (0)

Post Tags (12)

Replies (11)

Invite Others to Help

Help.com Homepage