school help: I need help with this. - Help.com

what kind of problems do you have with the nine year old at home?

i’m not sure what your asking here.But I will say this.I know if I knew for sure in my heart and head that it was a lie and if accused of something I didnt do or take part in, I would feel no need to explain myself.But unfortuntly you and your husband may find yourself in this situation and unfortunately may have to put yourself in the authorities and Doctors position so don’t allow yourselves to be vulnerable to taking a defensive attitude.And don’t allow them to manipulate you .this is a time to be strong and to stand strong.I hope this makes sense.I’m not trying to scare you,just letting you know what you might be up against.Its always good to be prepared.

Children have very vivid imaginations sometimes! And the trouble is, they often don’t realise the boundaries between truth and fantasy. Just think how many children have imaginary friends! Boy, those fantasies can be so real for them.

Sometimes, they have no concept of the implications of what they are saying. They only learn the consequences when they bounce back in their face.

Sometimes, they feel a need to fabricate stories to get attention. I have seen this so many times in schools. One day a counsellor is called to give help to a child in need and the next thing you know children are queuing up because they have heard little Charlie has a special counsellor and they too would like to feel that special! It’s nothing to do with malice on their part. They are just being children. Who knows, maybe something as simple as that has occurred here.

The important thing is that the family are getting the right help to work it out.

It sounds to me like this little boy does care for you. I understand you are hurt by what occurred but try not to let it spoil the wonderful relationship that is developing.

Hard as it may be, set this aside, don’t discuss it with him but ask to be kept informed of any developments that may be important. As the future co-parent, I think you have every right to know if this little boy will need special support in the future.

I think you can relax about this. If anyone were truly worried about you, you would not have any access to this family at all! The counsellor had no option but to call social services and it’s a good thing that they are checking a child’s home environment isn’t it? Don’t be worried about that.

You have done nothing wrong so just be calm and clear about the truth when you are asked.

Things will work out.

Just a little final anecdote to help you smile through this a little… my son cheerily announced to teacher, the entire class AND all their parents that his mom and dad “made” him in the garage and that that was where he lived. And at night.. we put him away in a box.

It took a LOT of explaining that he had been watching Pinnochio the day before and was convinced he was a puppet.

Kids say the craziest things sometimes!

3Hazel - the 9 year old tells lies all the time, but they are usually ridiculous things like “my mom pays me $100 each week to do chores” at which we say we’re going to work for his mom! He’s very bossy to his 1/2 brother who is 7, but that’s part of being the older brother. I never yell at them, never spank or punish them except to give them a time out if things get out of hand. If they’re really bad I have them present themselves to their dad and tell what they did. He doesn’t punish them either. He does yell at them, and tell them he won’t tolerate the lying. But the 9 year old continues to lie. This is the biggest lie so far and the most hurtful.

felicity - I know that this is a total lie. My fiance’ and I don’t fight or argue in front of the kids. If we have an issue we quickly settle it and carry on. I would never point a gun at anyone and can’t imagine where this is coming from. It does hurt me alot. But I’m not worried about social services because I know that it didn’t happen. I also know that lies little people tell can severely ruin big peoples lives.

mumstheword - thank you so much for your kind words! Loved the Pinochcio story. I felt better after reading that!

Maybe he got the idea from a tv show or something.

2Hazel - that’s very possible. We only allow the kids to watch G-rated movies, and to play video games that are “E” for everyone. Their mom’s allow them to watch R rated movies and play sniper games on Playstation. They aren’t my kids so there’s not much I can say. I know my fiance’ has discussed it with them to no avail. There’s only so much we can do in 2 weekends a month, but we try to have a postitive environment when they’re with us. Some of the movies they watched would give me nightmares for months! Believe me, we aren’t perfect! I have a 21 year old son, and I can tell you, I’m never going to get Mother of the Year!

Me either, last night I swore at my dog in front of the eight year old boy and my husband is so pissed.

If your kid attends school, he’s heard it all before anyway! My fiance’ and his son went to counselling yesterday and had an hour and 1/2 session. When I asked how it went I was told that the “situation” was never discussed. Never discussed? That was the whole point of going! Because your son told a horrible lie involving me and gun. And it wasn’t even discussed. I have been so upset over this for days. So I pretty much lost my cool at 11pm and told him that HE can explain to his kids the next time they come why I’m not fixing their meals, playing games with them or doing crafts with them…. because I don’t hang out with little liars that don’t even apologize!

They probably wanted to discuss the son’s problems, which might be a lot. The kids might have gone psycho because of the split of their parents. It’s tough to be a kid.

I hope it goes your way.

The parents were never together. They broke up before she even knew she was pregnant. From what I’ve heard she never told him she was pregnant, he found out, went to see her, then went to the county to start paying child support. I know that he requested and got a paternity test when the boy was old enough. But his son has never lived with both parents in the same home.

Oh, sorry.