life help: I’m going through some bad **** as you might have rea my - Help.com

sorry, i havent read your other posts.. can you shed a little light on what is going on?

Tell the man, your doctor’s father?, that you are sorry for lieing, that no one has ever cared about the truth in your life, that you thought the truth would drive him away:). Thank him for sitting with you through some of the darkest hours of your life, and open yourself up to the possibilities that only honesty can bring into your life:)

mera wrote:
lol no…My doctor…his son was the on who was there when i woke up

and its…he says he cant trust me anymore…that im nothing to him…that he dosent love me anymore…we dated for 3 mounths and he was always there i dont want to loose him…i want him to love me again.

ive tried to talk to him and ive told him im sorry so many times…ive tried to go and see him face to face but because i cnt walk well yea…ive tried so hard but he wont forgive me…which i cant blame him…i tried to mae ont hing in my life go right but it didnt work…i love him…i really do…and i want him to realize how sorry i am and that i want him to love me again too…idk anymore

You will find love when you are truthful:), you might start by being honest with yourself:).

mera wrote:
from the begining…
I was in the hospital for an eye operation and when i woke there was this wonderful guy sitting beside me, his father, my doctor had asked him to stay with me incase when i woke up i was shaken and totally gonna freak so he did.
MY PAST
my mom was very abussive and still is…she was put in jail for childabuse 10 days ago…she burned me pretty bad…on my face ad lower body and its so bad i may never walk again
WELL
stupid me told the guy that I was totally different from who i was, like i said my life is good and i have a loving family which it was opposite… so now he hates me for lying to him but i feel as if it was a good reason…
PRESENT
I talked to him last night before my burn care and I saw a side of im I neer saw before he was mean abd bitter…it scaed me to be hinest. So now I am an orphan in Hershey hospital with 3rd degree burns… I need somone to tak to…some ideas to try and get my mind off everything thats happened…Durring burn care which is VERY painful…it all comes back fro some reason…Im having a lot of trouble dealing with the pain both mental and physical…and i need some advice to try and help me cope

ANY IDEAS?

so very sorry to hear of what you are dealing with.. as with the person who seems very bitter and mean.. please stay away.. at this point in your life, you will be seeking out attention from someone who will show you a lot of caring.. and this person seems very very wrong for that.. as with the abuse that you are dealing with from your mother.. im so sorry to hear of that.. i too was abused by my parents growing up… and then again for ten years by my ex husband.. my only thing that i can say from this is.. im sorry.. but you have to realize that you are strong.. you have made it thus far.. the only word of wisdom that i can offer you is to take a look at what you have been through.. and become stronger over it.. do not become a statistic.. do not use what happened to you to be an excuse of how you might treat someone else.. turn your life around.. starting from today on… you can do it.. i have done it.. and it makes you such a better person in life.. many hugs… and if you ever want to talk.. i do have msn messenger in which i can talk to you.. i am a great listener and maybe i can show you how i have gotten past things in life to be who i am today.. also.. this is a great place to be.. there is a lot of caring people on this site.. many hugs.. shie

listen… anyone who wants to be with anyone due to their looks is shallow… im not beautiful or slim… and my honey loves me just that way.. he doesnt want me to lose weight.. its the heart of the person that someone should love… not their appearance.. you sound just like me… seriously.. i have been put down and walked on all my life… always living to make others happy.. but ya know what.. im 33 years old now.. and i have learned that if you live that way… you are always going to be sad and depressed.. you have to make yourself happy before you can ever make anyone happy…

well… your english teacher is right… i have just over come that whole happy thing… just about a year ago.. yup.. it has taken me that long… and you really have to have a crappy attitude about it… and push all the negative out… laugh at it… dont let it get you down… stay strong.. and refuse to allow the negative in to your life.. you will make a good recovery.. i see that you are strong… it may seem hopeless right now.. but you will see in time.. just how strong you really are.. trust me when i say that… i have had a horrible horrible life .. always seeing the bad in it.. never the good.. and like i said.. until recently.. i never realized that i had to be the crab.. and refuse to let the negative keep me down… im a fighter.. as you are… as for the trust issue.. i have found that to this day.. i still have a trust issue.. but you have to keep in mind as well.. you are vunerable.. do not allow yourself to fall for someone just because they are nice to you… that is not the way to go… let them be nice to you… let them help you.. but dont let them play on your feelings… stay strong… love shie.

you are very welcome.. but please… i know that she is your mom.. but no real mom hurts their child.. im not telling you to stay away forever.. just take your time… you need to heal before you heal your relationship between you and her… she needs to know what she has done to you.. how she has made you feel… i personally dont talk to my own parents.. only once in a blue moon because of all that they have put me through in life… and i have to say.. my life has been so much better… i have lived on my own since i was 16 years old… well.. i must get going.. because i have to run to the store to get a pack of cigs for my step son… ill be back later… many hugs and lots of love.. your friend always .. shie.. (tammy)

well…. i wish i knew how to help.. shoot.. i would even adopt ya.. give you a loving home and show you what a mom is really like… you would never be alone here… as for loving you.. you have to remember.. love does not hurt.. not physically or emotionally.. you sound like a very wonderful young lady… with an extremely good heart.. and it makes me mad that anyone let alone a child has to endure sooooo much at such a young life… especially from a parent… as i said.. i would never tell you not to love your mom.. not to try to give it a chance to be able to forgive her.. but you have to remember… its not going to happen over night.. and if you feel that you can do it over night.. you really need to sit back and think about it.. because it should never be that easy… always know that im here for ya… if you ever want to talk… im a great listener… and i have a lot of abuse in my life to know how you are feeling.. which makes it a bit more easier for you.. i hope… to talk to me… many hugs… love shie.

Mera, you’ve found a gem of a friend in Tammy. You’ll make other friends here who can help you get through this as well. I feel so bad for all that has happened to you. You did not deserve this, no matter what your mom or Chris says. That’s total bull-sh**, to put it bluntly. I’m a parent, and I’m telling you that no mom or dad should harm their child as you have been.

I agree with Shie that I wouldn’t rush to see your mom if I were you. You do not need to go back into her abusive care.

And your boyfriend? Chris? He’s dumping on you too, with guilt. That’s the last thing you need. Don’t put up with that. You are BETTER than that. You deserve to be loved, not jerked around by someone who can’t make up his mind if he’s sorry or not.

You can get through this. I know it will be hard, but you can do it. You can have a full life, find love, a fulfilling career, raise a family, all the things you dream of. Just keep trying.

mera wrote:

^j^lil_bit_shie^j^ wrote:
well…. i wish i knew how to help.. shoot.. i would even adopt ya.. give you a loving home and show you what a mom is really like… you would never be alone here… as for loving you.. you have to remember.. love does not hurt.. not physically or emotionally.. you sound like a very wonderful young lady… with an extremely good heart.. and it makes me mad that anyone let alone a child has to endure sooooo much at such a young life… especially from a parent… as i said.. i would never tell you not to love your mom.. not to try to give it a chance to be able to forgive her.. but you have to remember… its not going to happen over night.. and if you feel that you can do it over night.. you really need to sit back and think about it.. because it should never be that easy… always know that im here for ya… if you ever want to talk… im a great listener… and i have a lot of abuse in my life to know how you are feeling.. which makes it a bit more easier for you.. i hope… to talk to me… many hugs… love shie.

Well…I’ve been thinking…and your right it is harder then it looks…totally…I have a meeting wth a counsler tomorrow but idk if i wanna talk about it…i feel kinda ashamed…i mean…there is a bit more tot he story…and i feel really responsible about it..but idk…

I called Chris(thr guy) and he yelled at me again told me i got burned because i lied to him that it was ment to happen and to never call him again for any reason…so I guess…thats one problem i dont have to deal with…:(

no matter the full story or part of the story.. this happened out of your moms neglect hun… either intentional or not intentional.. it happened.. so as for talking to a counselor.. this is something that you will need in the long run… but it doesnt mean that you have to start talking about everything that just happened.. they will start talking to you about you.. and how you feel and little things here and there.. they will want to get to know you.. and you dont have to talk about anything unless you have too… take it slow.. get to know this person.. you will learn that you can trust them.. and eventually things will work out where you can talk about this insodent… but again.. it takes time.. dont rush on anyone’s account.. not even theirs… and they know this… ok?

thanks sansceriph.. youre a doll… and trust me mera… sansceriph is a great helper as well… and you will find that when you are feeling a bit better… sansceriph will have you rolling in laughter.. i promise…

well.. my honey just got home from work.. its 1 41 am here.. and im off to watch a movie with him… i have a class to attend to tomorrow.. as i cant work… so its mandatory.. ugh.. every tuesday… so ill be on later during the day… many hugs.. love shie.

Please accept this as something that may help, it helped me over 20 years ago….and some since then.

International Standard Version (©2008)
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is fair, whatever is pure, whatever is acceptable, whatever is commendable, if there is anything of excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy-keep thinking about these things.

If you memorize it first, then start picking apart what it means, like, what is honorable or what is pure, then you can add even more to learn and devote to memory.

Mera, in this world I can think of only one person who will see you through all your trials and tribulations. One person who will be there to console you, no matter what. One person who knows how kind and generous and loyal you are.

I ask you to trust in her and believe in her. I ask you to have patience with her as she figures things out.

her name is Mera.

I am full of loathing for what your mother did, but I am thankful that you are still able to type and write.

Don’t worry about another living soul because no one can believe in you as much as you believe in yourself. Use this tragedy to learn to do that!

I wish you peace of mind.

mera wrote:

Shakeybritches wrote:
Please accept this as something that may help, it helped me over 20 years ago….and some since then.International Standard Version (©2008)Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is fair, whatever is pure, whatever is acceptable, whatever is commendable, if there is anything of excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy-keep thinking about these things.

can somone explain to me what this dude/dudet is trying to tell me because i am seariously confused

No Worries, just disregard!

oh wow. this is some intense stuff you are forced to go through all at once and at this early in life. I don’t know what I can do or say to help, but I just want to tell you that you should keep fighting, maybe try to take it slowly and deal with each seperate problem one at a time if all possible. and allways remind yourself that after all of this, there will be cake. and this doesn’t have to be a lie to yourself, go out and get some cake or something and celebrate when you finnish one or more of your problems.
we are all here for you.

you will have some serious life stories to tell after all of this, too.
tell them to the children of the future when you are ready and have gotten over it all. this will only make you stronger in the end, wiser than before

thing always work out better when they are calculated and thought out, which takes some time. as for the prison and burn treatment issuses. there in’t much to do but wait. just keep thinking about how much better it will be once you heal from the burn

Wow! How did she burn you?

wow

How did you ever get away?…..that’s awful….

i tottaly agree. it can get nearly, if not impossible to hold on to that hope, but all you can do is keep trying.
shakey, fate and destiny let her get away. that was not your time to die and it wont be anytime soon. they just have something planned for you in the future.
i look forward to watching the straight- to- tv movie about your life.

yes, complete with the awesomely cheesey acting and the touching ending.
like the kind you watch at health class that were cheaply recorded so we could watch it there. i can see it now.

those are the best

just keep going and do something amazing at the end. then go tell people about your story

we will listen. the future gen of kids will listen. people will be touched!

My unique take on this (which may be worth just what you’re paying for it) is that your boyfriend blames both you and himself for something that can’t ever be completely fixed.

Now, stay with me, because these next words are harsh, but I’m talking about FEELINGS, not neccesarily facts, okay? I’m talking about the way people get angry about things, just because they can’t understand how those things could happen.
__________________
For instance, I had a friend who committed suicide in 1991. I’m so mad at him, that if wasn’t dead I swear I’d dig him up and KILL him! But that’s just because I know there was nothing I could do to prevent it. It’s just my feelings; and they really don’t have much to do with facts or what you could have done.
__________________________________

You didn’t take steps to protect yourself from you Mom.
You lied to him, and so he didn’t try to protect you from the evils in your life.
You didn’t tell his father (a mandatory reporter) while you were in for eye surgery.
You weren’t protected by your teachers, your other family members, your church leaders…no one was there for you.

So now, you’re burned. And he’s PISSED. He’s just angry to the bone clear through. And it’s going to take him a long while to get over that and see past what he thought would be to the reality of what is.

So give him time. He may never be “yours” again, but I’m sure in time he’ll come to some kind of peace with it.

In the meantime, we need to focus on YOU.

The burns…and the pain. That’s probably what’s most difficult right now. Everything else is just going to buzz ’round in your brain for awhile, and you’re powerless to fix any of it. So we need to just work on finding ways to cope ’till you are able to reclaim your own life.

If they can’t give you any medicine when they do the treatment, could you talk to the counsellor about hypnotism? I’ve heard it’s really good for pain control.

mera wrote:
she burned me and then set a part of the house on fire while she ran…i managed to get to a phone before everything went into flames…I just wish I could have saved my sister…my mom had put her in a closet and then set the room where the closet was on fire first

OMG! How old was your sister?

oh **** your sister?! i didn’t catch that!

Mera, this is more than any human being can handle. You need to demand that you get a consult with the psychiatrist at the hospital. This is bigger than a single human can handle. If they won’t give you one, you need to write to Congresspeople and Senators and presidents.

Honestly, google your precinct and such. This woman murdered your sister and gravely injured you. The people of your state pay good money to pay for assistance in these cases.

Demand a psych consult!

That’s terrible. Mom won’t be getting out of prison I guess.

oh… wow
such horrible sick people out there do this stuff to people so young

mera wrote:
she burned me and then set a part of the house on fire while she ran…i managed to get to a phone before everything went into flames…I just wish I could have saved my sister…my mom had put her in a closet and then set the room where the closet was on fire first

Wow, where was the closet? Was it the bedroom?

mera wrote:
They cant give me any pain medican durring the treatment because they both clean the burns and also check to see how my nerves are responding and such. Sence all of this I have been seeing a counsler.. i just dont want to talk about it all…atleast not yet…

of course you don’t want to talk about it. No offense to the very nice people here, but they are not equipped for this sort of obsenity that was done to you and your sister.

I suggest you have the counselor read what you’ve written here, if you don’t want to talk about it.

Best of luck

are they using the silver creme on you?

mera wrote:

Shakeybritches wrote:

mera wrote:
she burned me and then set a part of the house on fire while she ran…i managed to get to a phone before everything went into flames…I just wish I could have saved my sister…my mom had put her in a closet and then set the room where the closet was on fire first

Wow, where was the closet? Was it the bedroom?

you ask a lot of questions…i was in the kitchen and my sister was in her room

I’m sorry, does it bother you that I am so inquisitive?

none taken, butterfly2008, this is crazy to me that someone would do this to their kids. i don’t have much helpfullness, especially when i am no were near you.

mariposa2008 wrote:

mera wrote:
They cant give me any pain medican durring the treatment because they both clean the burns and also check to see how my nerves are responding and such. Sence all of this I have been seeing a counsler.. i just dont want to talk about it all…atleast not yet…

of course you don’t want to talk about it. No offense to the very nice people here, but they are not equipped for this sort of obsenity that was done to you and your sister.I suggest you have the counselor read what you’ve written here, if you don’t want to talk about it.Best of luck

Equipped?

if i die sometime soon you can have my skin

i will donate it and have it sent to you

mera wrote:
no its fine…i was jus being cheezy…if somthing seems to into it ill let u kno…and no i havent gotten a silver cream yet…they’ve just taken off dead skin and used a special medican through a needel.

Ok, I just don’t want to upset you. I mean, more than you are already….Shakey

yea, shakey, we are not as much help as a good psychiatrist would be

I have extra skin too Alpha, way too much……..lol

Mera, my friend when I was 8 years old almost died in a fire in his house……he is now a Medical Dr. in Orlando, Florida.

Old Geezer?…..

LOL, well, I’m glad you are smiling!

Alphaknight, Mera, goodnight all, I have to get some sleep before my eyes fall out….please feel free to shout me anytime…….take care….Shakey

exactly my words shakey, good night all be back tommorrow

you are very welcome. anytime you need some help with something just shout one of us. thats right i am voluteering shakey for him/herself

and you are a great friend as well. I hope it all works out in the end

you too XD

Mera my sweet..you are 15. You have done absolutely nothing wrong or at least nothing anything any other 15 year old wouldn’t do. I’m very sorry for your pain. If you can transfer your thoughts to a place where nothing more then a smile is asked of you, that would be great. Hopefully a angel will walk in and brighten your day. At this point you don’t have time for anybody that gets mad at you, you are a victim. Does the burn unit have a support worker that can supply you with a counselor? I’ll say a prayer for your Knight in Shining Armour.:)

Hey there Mera. I’m just popping in to say that no matter what, people here care about you and want you to get well.

I read your story and I think it would be a good idea to talk things through with a professional there. You need to learn to trust again, to separate good from bad, to keep moving forward. A doctor can put you in touch with a counsellor who knows how to help you. You don’t have to tell anyone why you want to talk to one. If they ask, you just have to say “I think it would help me deal with a few things…” and that’s all !

Sometimes, writing down thoughts and fears, whether real or imaginary, big or small, can really help. I hope that you writing here has helped you a little. I have a book I write in some days and I keep it under my bed tied with a ribbon. That helps me to sleep because I know that my thoughts are all “put away” for the night. I can deal with them tomorrow - though sometimes the next day, they seem so trivial that I smile and say “now that was a silly thought”. Others are never trivial but keeping them on pages instead of in my head helps me to deal with them better.

Keep well Mera. Remember that minds need to be cared for as much as our bodies when we get sick or hurt. Don’t be afraid to let your mind get healed too…

Big hugs. x

what you need is a different one! One who does understand you and has some practical ideas for you, not just sympathy and psycho analyst stuff right?

I hear that..some of the worst people in the world hide there..A teenage sicoplace is the Wrong place to be. I wish for someone nice. Someone that you can lean on no matter what. I invited friends for wishes of support only. Although it saddens me to see you in pain, your strength is inspiring. I have seen my share of monsters and I hope you believe that there is one nice person out there just for you…

Ok hun. I just reread a few things and it’s ok.

What I meant was that if the people around you aren’t helping you, you don’t have to stick with them. There are lots of people to pick and choose from out there and they don’t all follow books and systems and wear white coats and say you should do this and do that. If you want help to find someone else you just holler. If you don’t want to talk to anyone yet, that’s fine too.

You turn things on their head and you MAKE them work for you! It’s like you said earlier.. you gotta make people listen to you hun. That’s when being part of a group of people going through similar stuff can make things easier. We see that all the time on here. When you have someone behind you, you feel strong.

If they don’t have a group for people in your situation.. you could make one! Get people to help you set it up! You sound like someone who might be good at that.

Launching into something positive that you can really get your teeth into might even help take your mind of all your pain.

I know you said you can’t have meds, but there are some natural remedies that your carers may be prepared to let you try. Aromatherapy is one. Why not do some research on it and propose it to them? See what they say?

Keep moving forward in your own way hun. Right behind you here. x

I originally avoided responding to this post on my first invite because it saddened me so much that I cried. Just know that I’m here if you want to talk anytime. Send me a shout or something. We’re here for you. Keep on looking toward the future to better times. :)

mera wrote:
she burned me and then set a part of the house on fire while she ran…i managed to get to a phone before everything went into flames…I just wish I could have saved my sister…my mom had put her in a closet and then set the room where the closet was on fire first

omg… did your sister make it???????

as for helping yourself or thinking of yourself first.. its a must… in order to be helpful to anyone.. you need to be healthy and respect yourself first… you are a someone… and you need to know that… many hugs.. love your friend always… tammy.

mera wrote:
i may need one but i DONT WANT ONE!!!
i dont have any buisness explaining my life to those ******* they dont know anything about me or what ive done, the one wants to put me on a phyco drug, says itll help me stay socure and another says I should be moved to Phillidelphia for the teenage sicoplace,

IM DONE WITH THEM

yea, that is some bullshit right there that they are trying to do that

^j^lil_bit_shie^j^ wrote:

mera wrote:
she burned me and then set a part of the house on fire while she ran…i managed to get to a phone before everything went into flames…I just wish I could have saved my sister…my mom had put her in a closet and then set the room where the closet was on fire first

omg… did your sister make it???????

as for helping yourself or thinking of yourself first.. its a must… in order to be helpful to anyone.. you need to be healthy and respect yourself first… you are a someone… and you need to know that… many hugs.. love your friend always… tammy.

umm the fact that she said “I just wish I could have saved my sister” kinda says no

glad to hear that things are going fine for you with the counselor… that is good news.. and just the beginning… the beginning of a new start to life… as for your sister.. im so sorry to hear that… did anything happen to your mother due to this??

Alphaknight wrote:
umm the fact that she said “I just wish I could have saved my sister” kinda says no

well i hope the counseler is nice. you are not crazy, sure you may have mental stress from all of this, but you are not crazy. they were acting like you were crazy

i dont mean to sound weird, but she kinda deserves life in prison.

do you know were you will stay if she does get it?

do you have any sort of family at all that is willing to care for you?

Alphaknight wrote:
i dont mean to sound weird, but she kinda deserves life in prison.

I think she kinda deserves the death penalty.

i would have said that dragon lady, but IMO spending a lifetime in prison is worse than getting a needle in the arm and quickly dieing

Wow…the absolutely the Best news I’ve heard all week:) I am soooooo glad you are on a new path and the caution you are displaying gives me the confidence that you are not going to be pushed around. All of life’s wishes will befall to you….Your mom’s issues are her own and you can deal with them only when you feel your ready…Fantastic news on your direction and remember it moves slowly and takes time. I hope you can keep us updated anytime you feel the need. Thank you again for inspiring me with hope:)

guys.. just remember … this poster is only 15 and has lost everything.. including her family… also the state that she is in.. it really isnt a good idea to talk about the mother in this way…

aaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwww… well you can come live with me… ill take care of you… and show you all the love that a child needs…

yea, thats what i thought and is the reason towards saying that i didnt want to sound weird. i would still have love for my mother after something like this.

anon, this isnt the place for that

exactly…..

but wow at the avatar sharing

unusual

lol im pretty sure it isnt

mera wrote:

^j^lil_bit_shie^j^ wrote:
aaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwww… well you can come live with me… ill take care of you… and show you all the love that a child needs…

thanks you are very sweet but dont worry…I’tll all work out in the end…all stories must have a happy ending I guess.

you are right… great big hugs.. just for you..

regards…. where have i seen a poster that says regards a lot….. hmmm