Love help: my boyfriend and i are not doing well.

blf

my boyfriend and i are not doing well.

its not that he doesnt love me its that he stresses me out and now im suffering with a panic disorder. i love him SO much but i dont feel like its a good idea for me to be with him if its affecting my mental health. I want to leave him but for some reason i cant. any advice?? PLEASEEEE

This open post was written 5 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 634, 15, 8 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post blf may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. blf is a verified member, has been around for 5 months, 2 weeks and has 30 posts and 94 replies to their name.

Post Tags (13)

Love, reason, suffering, Mental Health, panic disorder, IDEA, health, Panic, boyfriend, advice, relationship, Problems, break up (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (15)

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Nante 174 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (17 minutes after post)

Well if you love him then thats all that matters right?

Help me with: How many people will reply to this?

blf 1 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (19 minutes after post)

but is love enough?? i ask myself that question too many times….

a)be with the one i love but be mentaly sick
or
b)be without the one i love and be mentally well

Help me with: are there any graphic designers on here?

Nante 174 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (20 minutes after post)

But if you are without him will that not hurt you?

Help me with: How many people will reply to this?

blf 1 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (22 minutes after post)

yea tremendously but i have loved and lost before so i know i can overcome it but this panic disorder is so new to me im not sure what is going to happen

Help me with: are there any graphic designers on here?

lindseysavvy 2 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (24 minutes after post)

love is a special thing but it dont let it go to where you get sick trust me ive been there. how does he stress oyou out? it may be abuse.

Help me with: So I recently got married and I’m only 19.

Nante 174 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (25 minutes after post)

yeah why are you stressed?

Help me with: How many people will reply to this?

blf 1 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (28 minutes after post)

in so many wayss…. he still wants to be the young party guy even though he is an alcoholic and he gets mad at me for trying to help him not drink…we also live together in a few states away from my home town and a couple months ago we had a friends of his stay with us untill he could get an apt but it turned sour and the guy used us and didnt pay a cent…well a couple months later my bf invites another friend to do the same thing without asking me and i dont want a stranger in my house but he wont listen to me and keeps making escuses for him….also he just can be mean and have a attitutde toward me and just treat me not like i believe a woman should be treated…overall this stuff and soo much more stresses me out

Help me with: are there any graphic designers on here?

shosta8 2 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (43 minutes after post)

Leave him now. You need to look after yourself first… get back to basics and pamper yourself and do what you want to do for a while… is it possible for you to move out or even go back to your home town?

Help me with: How do I know if my boyfriend is the one for me?

blf 1 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (46 minutes after post)

im going to school here and if i leave ill cancel my loans….aka not an option and i have considered moving out but the people i usually ask for advice dont seem to like that idea becuase then i have to sign a year lease and etc….and there worried that we might want to live together after all this…so im confused

Help me with: are there any graphic designers on here?

shosta8 2 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (49 minutes after post)

Ah ok… well I would say the most important thing is to take care of yourself and continue to go to school… try and do the best you can at your subjects… distance yourself from him and try not to let the problems going on around you affect you… it’s hard but try. Just keep your chin up… and when the time comes for you to figure a way out of it take it… if you keep going to school… and then you get a job… maybe you can make it on your own?

Help me with: How do I know if my boyfriend is the one for me?

blf 1 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (51 minutes after post)

thanks for the advice..i needed that :)

Help me with: are there any graphic designers on here?

emmagwillia #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (4 hours, 23 minutes after post)

Have you sat down and spoken to him about this?? Do you live together, if you do maybe you should live apart for a while and not spend all your time together, go on dates and days out together so you can get used to having fun together again. speak to a life coach, if you can, maybe go together.
If he loves you then he will do everything he can to support you and you will get through this together, otherwise staying with him will only make your fellings and situation worse, untill you can see no way out.
So sit and talk to him otherwise move on for yourself, do not rush into another relationship, have fun with friends and family, and see what happens from there. If you two are meant to be then you will get back together.
Hope this helps

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sstrea 0 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (2 days after post)

I would suggest if your bf is so hard to deal with, but you want to keep him. Then the only solution would be to ignore him. Men do not like being ignored. Once he starts chasing then you set the ground rules. Beleive me this should work.

noemai 0 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months ago (2 weeks, 1 day after post)

I recoment this book tremendously it helped me understand myself, your panic attacks are not a way to live your life your choosing that. Life is beautiful to enjoy and love, laugh etc. please read I have recomended this book to everyone

YOUR ERRONEOUS ZONES by wayne w dyer.

Help me with: I recently started living with the girl of my dreams.

junglebootie2 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months ago (2 weeks, 3 days after post)

I’m in about the same boat as you are. I just recently moved 4 states away from my hometown with my boyfriend about 2 months ago. I’m also trying to attend college like you are. I’ve only been here for such a short time and got a forecast of what my life will be like if I continue on with this guy/child in this state. Luckily, I haven’t taken any loans out or anything, but I do understand the stress school tuition/loans can bring upon a person. I have no one here, but him. He, like your boyfriend, is also into partying. He is selfish, never thinks of me or my feelings. I gave up my whole life for him and he just doesn’t care. He also messes with my head, I actually know how you feel to a certain degree. Your guy sounds like he’s stuck in high school still and a mature woman like yourself deserves better. From my understanding it is hard for you to move or find a place to live. Check out craigslist.com and go to rooms/shared in your area. I’m sure there’s someone near you that is willing to rent you a room for a low rate. (a lot of them don’t have contracts, you could probably do a month to month) and your answer (b)be without the one i love and be mentally well is the better choice. It’s a tough decision to make, but you have to start doing things for yourself, even if it means making sacrifices you don’t want to. Good luck to you! and BE SELFISH in this situation :)

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