Love help: should i tell my ex? - Help.com

should i tell my ex?

my ex boyfriend and i were together for almost a year. we were each others first everything and were best friends. he broke up with me 2 months ago because he said he wasn’t in love with me anymore. we still talk, and said we’d try to be friends; but it’s been quite difficult so far. things are getting easier though and we’ve started to see each other in groups (ie with other people we both know) which is nice.
recently things have been starting to happen with one of my friends. last night we went to the cinema and he kissed me then we held hands all day etc. although it’s nothing serious yet (we talked about it and are going to take things slow, as we have both recently come out of long term relationships), i think it will be eventually.
should i tell my ex about him? i feel like if we’re ever going to be proper friends we have to be able to trust each other, so i feel that i SHOULD tell him. if it were the other way around i would want to know.
however, i don’t want it to seem like i’m just telling him to boast or try and “get one over” on him. if i don’t tell him he will find out from someone else or see us together (we have a lot of the same friends) and i would hate for him to have to find out that way.
should i tell him? how should i go about it?
thank you :)
(sorry about such an essay of a post!)

This open post was written 5 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 374, 6, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post ghostteet may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. ghostteet is a verified member, has been around for 7 months and has 35 posts and 30 replies to their name.

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friends, Love, hand, Coming out, essay, Find, hate, night, boyfriend, Term, ex-boyfriend, new boyfriend, friendship (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (6)

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rising.ashes offline Verified User (6 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (2 minutes after post)

Uh, no. From the way you describe it, you’re really not THAT close of friends yet. You need to act like you’re just getting to know your ex, and would you tell a bare acquaintance about a new fling? I think the answer is, as I said in the first sentence, no.

That’s my answer, anyway. I’d not tell your ex, because I think secretly you would only want to do it to wave it in his face.

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ghostteet offline Verified User (7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (4 minutes after post)

I really don’t want to do it to wave it in his face at all. I would rather NOT tell him, I just think it would be really strange and awkward if he saw us together without even knowing anything was going on.

You’re probably right though. And in a way, why should I tell him? I don’t exactly owe him any kind of explanation or anything.

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rising.ashes offline Verified User (6 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (6 minutes after post)

Yeah, that’s my exact thought as well. If he asks you, as an acquaintance might– “So how are things going with you and X?”– just tell him they’re going well, and you’re seeing where the wind blows you, or something non-committal like that.

It’s hard to realize, sometimes (trust me, I’ve been through it), but you don’t have the same relationship with your ex as you did when you were going out. As I mentioned, you have to begin anew if you want to be friends, and let it be like any other friendship.

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Help me with: About a guy who’s sending mixed messages:
asmith954 offline Verified User (1 year) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Undisclosed Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (10 minutes after post)

Its is none of his business. Let him find out on his own,unless you want to try to get back at him. Then in that case tell him otherwise going with your life and dont worry about how or when he finds out.

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xi.love.yoo offline Verified User (1 year, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (27 minutes after post)

he’s an ex for a reason.
if its cool with you, dont tel him unless he asks if there is anything going on blah blah blah.
it really isnt his business (:

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troubled_soul offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
Abingdon, K2, GB | 5 months, 2 weeks ago (40 minutes after post)

its not realy an essay, I’ve wrote more.
You should tell him, he shouldn’t feel anythin if he don’t love you anymore. Live your life, not be held back by your EXs.

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