friends help: My life is stupid. - Help.com

I feel pretty crap at the moment myself so can’t think of much to say to this except this little bit: PEOPLE DO CARE. Its easy to think that people don’t even when they say they do, I know, I doubt my friends often too when I’m feeling depressed and often think I’m just being a burden on them and that they don’t really love me, but believe me they do, and your friends love you too, I’m sure of it. Be careful your doubt doesn’t push them away…

Sorry I can’t give you advice on how to fix everything. ‘I have a fantastic home and a loving family and I know I should be happy but I’m just not.’ I feel that way too =( I hope other people reply to this post.

Hey there.

I used to feel excactly like you. I used to hate myself. I understand. Nothing changed until I got professional help. Talking to an experienced and trained professional seemed to be the right way for me so this is what I recommend for you. It saved my life. My prison guard is still there but the brighter healthier side of me fights the abusive prison guard every day. I used to talk EXCACTLY like you. I remember when my therapist asked me: What would happen if you where just…yourself…around your friends and family? what would happen if they knew YOU not this mask you carry around with you. - I laughed. I thought he was joking. The mere thought of it was just sooo ridicolous to me. I said to him: Well my life as I know it would go to hell. I would die. - I did not mean it metaphorically. I meant it literally. It’s scary for me to think about this today, to think about where my head was at. It is NOT a fact that your loved ones will not like you for who you are. Think about it…if your friend told you something like that about him/herself you’d find it totally absurd and very sad. You’d never agree to such a thing. What makes you worse then everybody else on this planet? What have you done to diserve the hell you’ve made for youreself? Why does your true self diserve to be locked up in prison? What crime has your true self commited?

think about it and please: talk to a professional. It will change your life.

All the best and good luck
Yrja

I have been where you are, I can’t say that I know exactly what you’re feeling and I can’t tell you that it will all get better because I don’t know that it will. I’ll tell you the truth…

I used to believe that things work out on their own eventually but recently I have realized that if you want something to happen, you have to make it happen. There is nothing wrong with who you are…luckily we aren’t all carbon copies of each other. We have a world of variety and diversity. The best advice I can give to you is be happy with yourself. I know, it’s easier said than done and it takes time but it’s so worth it, trust me.

Best of luck….
Danielle

You are right this is too big a job for your friends - mainly becuase you are actually master of your own destruction at the moment. But you know what you are doing and that is a big start. You do need help as depression cannot be ‘drowned’ not by food/drugs/alcohol it needs to be treated. You self -esteem is very low and it will probably take a bit of courage but pick up the phone and get an appointment with your doctor. You might need some meds for a while and maybe to see a counsellor to retrain your destructive behaviour patterns. That is when you can let your friends know what you are doing - you will probbly be very suprised how supportive they are. Not just because they are your friends but depression touches a lot of lives and if they see you making an effort to overcome it they will be on side. Please phone the doctor - it would be the start of a new you - regards mas

Mas- I’m exaggerating, I dont take drugs, and I’m not drowning myself in alcohol, but I know that I’m seeking to and that if I had the courage I probably would. I’m too scared of everyone to possibly take drugs, but I think, if I’m pushed any further, I’ll most likely stop caring. Thanks for the self esteem advise though.

Danielle- Thanks it’s good to know that others feel the same way. However, I dont think I’m able to change myself, thats my point. I have no idea how to change myself for the better and thats the problem.

Yrja- I wish I could get profesional help, but I honestly cant stand the thought of someone finding out. I suppose the real question is where could I possibly find someone who wouldnt judge someone like me and so no one would know that I’m talking to theem? But thanks for your advise, and I’m glad that later in life you feel better about yourself.

Dancefloor- I find it hard to believe you. My friends honestly dont care what I’m like, if I broke down in front of them, they’d run away as fast as possible. Thats not what someone who loves you does. But thanks. I really hope you’re right.

Anon - I know this is boring but you do realise that the only people who would know what you are talking about are you and the therapist. This sounds terrible but Pride comes before a fall and if you dont get some kind of help who is going to catch you?

Its not pride thats stopping me but fear of ridicule. I’m not scared of the guy I’ll be speaking to, I’m scared that someone I know will find out.

Well they wont because the guy wont tell anyone and you are just going to have to invent some pretty amazing dental appointments or suchlike to cover it - come on - you are within touching distance of starting to feel so well, probably the best you have ever felt since you were a baby. You know it’s there and even I can smell success from this one. You have been truthful to all of us just one more step and you are out of the woods and sniffing the roses (I’m crap at describing things)Have you an absolute idea of who you would visit with to talk?

I havnt a clue. Really none.

OK then address that - so I dont have to rewind this entire post which is your nearest big city?

Manchester, but I dont see how this will help.

It will help me find you someone to talk to - a phone number some names - do you want me to look? Manchester UK or USA

Well first of all copy and paste the 2 links in this post for any future reference - they are handy if you ever need to help someone else.

http://help.com/post/167323-this-is-a…

I think your friends could surpirse you. A while ago I had a major break down at a small party after a few drinks, cut my arms really deep (which was incredibly stupid) and one of my friends just stormed out and left me- she was supposedly my BEST friend. Another friend however stepped up, she didn’t leave me at all, cleaned up my arms and just sat with me and hugged me. Obviously me and my “best friend” aren’t friends anymore now but me and that other girl are really good friends and I love her to bits, so even though my break down was really lame I’m glad it happened cos it made me realise who my real friends were.

ANYWAY, hope you’re getting the help you need.