friends help: My mom’s sister/best friend will probably pass away in the next few days. - Help.com

If you are contemplating suicide, hurting yourself, or you are seriously depressed: please, seek professional help!

Call this hotline (1-800-273-8255) operated by our friends at the
Suicide Prevention Lifeline, anytime, for free, professional, and
confidential assistance. While other Help.com users are likely to reply
to your post, please make sure you understand that your use of Help.com
falls under our TOS.

Note: I’m a robot that the Help.com staff created. If this response is in error, I apologize, please ignore it.

tell her everything is gonna be right… just talk to her… try to make her laugh without really goofing off… tell her you love her… and cry with her that is all u can really do

Thank you :(

no prob

At this point, the only thing you can do is to remind her that you love her and that you’re there for her. Instead of trying to find the right thing to say, just try listening to her. Nothing you can say or do is likely to be as helpful by simply listening to them. Silence can be golden. You could also say something along the lines of “I’m here for. I don’t know what to say but I’ll hang in there with you the best I can.” Let her feel what she’s feeling; don’t talk her out of her feelings. But, if you find an opportunity to cheer her up, do so. Encourage her to see a counselor or psychologist since she is undergoing depression.

I agree with everything they’ve said so far. Be there, go to a support group with her, get some more family to help too. Just to know that you’re sorry for her loss and that you love her, that’s all she needs. There are no perfect words for grief.

I will pray for you tonight:(

thank you so much everyone… i really appreciate it. i’ll keep you updated.

I was thinking about your being emotionally overwhelmed by your mom being emotionally overwhelmed, but I was already personally emotionally overwhelmed … so I went websearching… first, “compassion fatigue” …. then other stuff that was more relevant to me and made me feel better about life. Maybe you’d like to try that.

thank you for websearching for me, michael. i followed your suggestion and came across secondary traumatic stress disorder which describes me almost exactly. i really appreciate the effort you put into this… it’s great to know that people i’ve never even met before actually care.

You’re welcome. You were the first or one of the first people on my friend list here so that makes you extra special (to me, at least.)

oh sweet ,you just need to be yourself ,your mum needs you not some fantasy make believe words ,just you,when the time comes youll know what to say believe me ,the heart has a mighty vocabulary ,spontaneous and living for the moment,just relax and do what you were made to do ,be real if you choke up ,maybe thats the way it should be,emotions are a strong catylist for expression,peace!

my deepest reguards for your mum!big hugzz

thank you akithma. your post was poetic and helped me feel a little better :)

Maybe you can do something to cheer yourself up, yoda. Go to the movies or on a walk or maybe just somewhere quiet where you can relax.

I’ll try that. thanks raikaru:)

raikaru and akithma are golden.
Just be there.
Hugs

she moved on early this morning. my mom called me and i just had no idea what to say.i was just silent most of the time.

my mom hides her pain behind a mask so she just told me this morning like nothing was wrong. she said “my sister died this morning” in the same tone she would say “we had pizza last night”. then she asked me how the weather is here and if i was working tonight. she doesnt let her pain out and it eats at her inside. i got her to talk about her last night a bit and i think she did cry a little.

i asked her to see a councilor but it wouldnt really work for her because she cant afford it and she is never in the same town for more than 2 or 3 weeks. she has her own computer-based business that requires her to travel a lot. she has some family there with her right now so that helps a bit i think.

im sorry if you cant understand this; im exhausted and sad and i can hardly think. thanks everyone for your replies on here; its great to know people care. bye.

Sometimes words are not enough, it needs for some one to be there and just listen. I think this may be one of those times.
I think empathy is the word, where you feel the same as they do, with them and for them. Doing that is sometimes hard to do, but you are so capable of sharing this kind of love.
That your mom is able to phone you and share her feelings with you, means that you are being a great asset to her.
I am hoping with all of my heart that the best possible result will come out from this.
Your last reply has just come up, I have just signed in, to find your invite. Is there anything I can do for you my friend?

thanks, just your reply helped :)

You are indeed welcome to as many as you need. I expect you are entirely exhorsted now. Are you able to get some rest or sleep?

i’ll try… but its only 10 am here. thanks, thep, for caring.

Try to rest with a warm drink, other than coffee even warm milk and a slice of toast. Then try to sleep awhile. You need to look after yourself as well. Try to keep strong, others might need to depend on you.

yodaluv12 wrote:
im sorry if you cant understand this; im exhausted and sad and i can hardly think. thanks everyone for your replies on here; its great to know people care. bye.

Ideas like counselling sound great, but if the biggest current problem is loss of contact with a loved one, then… I would guess, it would seem that just making contact, checking in would do something. I’m not quite sure, my mom is like that, behind glaciers of feeling blockers, but she got a little more open when I told her I loved her on mother’s day. Good luck with everything.