if you can get this book “the Secert” It was HELPED me in SO many ways…..
:/ I’m sorry, I feel your pain! I hesitate to post until I can look up some things, and I dont know if I can do that till I’m ready….but I just wanted to say I empathize, although I know what you need is practical advice right now.
I guess, running through my head first, is that in order to feel less stress you’d have to get out of your “financial hell”, in as much as is possible while the divorce is still going on, or at least start planning for it.
I am sorry if I am assuming a different thing altogether, but I am thinking that by what you mean by “financial hell” is that you are in a lot of debt that you are having difficulty repaying. I am thinking that you will probably want to see a reliable debt counselor that consults for free…
Umm…I am just a kid compared to you, but I know what a divorce is like- my mother is going through one, nasty divorce with my father, who wants to horde all the valuable assets without taking responsibility for my two younger siblings- and I am sort of web savvy and I hope a practical mind, and maybe in a way I can point you to some resources for free/low-cost debt counseling…Just a few I’ve found:
http://www.smartmoney.com/debt/advice…
http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/pubs/c…
I hesitate to give you anymore links, to specific credit bureau services that have websites online…..only because i am not an expert or knowledgeable enough to separate weeds/corrupt services with legit ones. But if you Google with the term “deb counselor” you cann pullup links to specific services. And discern on your own.
Pick yourself up. If you’re getting divorced its most likely because things were hell to begin with. Sometimes things have to get worse before they can get better. Get a 2nd job. Everyones in financial hell the economy sux right now. It’s hard work but itll pay off. Keep your head up!
Allready have the 2nd job. Ur right things were hell, and I was the biggest reason for that. Tha’s what scares me. No matter where I go, there I am.
Rrlipki, you did something wonderful here and I don’t know you realized it: you acknowledged that the biggest reason for what happened to you and why are you in this mess is you. Most of us who went through divorce,know, one of us from the previous marriage is in a complete denial mode. One creates such financial burden on the other partner that the other partner cannot trust him/her anymore and marriage is based on trust. Then comes the begging, begging of the partner who created the mess to admit it and to get help. Usually if it comes this far in a marriage, the marriage is over because the one who created the mess won’t admit it ever and will keep spending like there was no tomorrow. I would not recommend debt counselors because they need to make their own commission too. A second job might do, though it sounds like you have a huge debt. What about getting a loan or mortgage to pay off your debt, throwing out all of your credit cards but keep only one. Divorce is never an easy time to go through but I am telling you from experience that once you got debt in control, you will feel better.
We all felt rotten and like a failure to go through a divorce. We had hopes and dreams which we think failed us. One think is sure, God never failed us but we failed Him. He is there for you too, seek Him out and you will see, He is still carrying you in His arms. Right now it is “normal” from you to say “I just want to die”. That won’t solve anything. You started your own healing by acknowledging something big. You have the power within you to continue on this path. We are here to help you, God is with you, trust yourself. You are not alone!
“Divorce is never an easy time to go through but I am telling you from experience that once you got debt in control, you will feel better.”
I know that to be true. That really bothers me. I lose my wife, Will hardly get to see my kids. But having extra money will make me feel better. That is who I am, and I think that sucks.
“God never failed us but we failed Him. He is there for you too, seek Him out and you will see, He is still carrying you in His arms.”
I know that to be true as well. I have felt his pwer and will in my life, yet I keep turning from him. Once again…That is who I am, and I think that sucks.
Rlipki, sometimes things have to be broken before they can be restored. When a marriage breaks down, our mind is overwhelmed by grief, guilt, anxiety and stress. During divorce and facing the loss of loved ones give us more pressure than you can cope with. Your mental and emotional state right now is in the broken down mode, and you believe it is the end. Your heart is filled with love and care for your family you are “losing” and that is “normal”. At the end of the path you will see a new you emerge. Failure is what you feel but believe me, been there, done that, felt it. If I can give you some helpful advice from experience, and I know it is very hard right now for you, but we seem to think that our failure in our marriage is permanent. Instead of thinking this way, try to see it as a wonderful opportunity for your mind to start again: 1. try to pay off your debts, 2. don’t give up on losing your children; you must keep in touch and fight for your rights to see them often. Build a positive happy nurturing relationship with them even though you don’t live with them anymore. Believe me they need YOU too! If you could accomplish these two for the next little while you will succeed of being you again. 3. don’t give up on seeking out God, pray to Him. He is always there, just seek Him out. Go back to your church often, join group activities, talk to your priest. Talk to us. You are not alone.
“3. don’t give up on seeking out God, pray to Him. He is always there, just seek Him out. Go back to your church often, join group activities, talk to your priest.”
Actually that would be Rabbi. I am a Meseanic Jew. I know God is there. I have felt His pressance and will in my life. I ALLWAYS TURN AWAY FROM HIM! I don’t know why. That is just one more thing that I am tired of failing at. I know how pathetic I sound. I was recently diagnoised as bi-polar. The medicine helps me with an impulse control problem that I have allways had and that has led to most of my situation. But this last time that I turned from God I was on my medicine. It just seems that my last “excuse” was taken away. Even now with all the encouragement that you and others here have given me, I am reluctant to seek Him. I am really tired of trying and failing. It seems worse than not trying at all. The worst part is I know that the enemy is at work in me trying to keep me seperated from God. In some strange way that is one of the only things that gives me hope. Why would he try and keep me from him if there was no hope?
Rlipki, I was thinking about you all day long and here is what I came up with. Sorry if it will sound too much like preaching, I just want to help you:
Jesus was asked to judge the woman caught in the act of adultery which was a capital offense under Jewish Law in the first century Palestine. The Holy Land was a Roman Province. Under Roman Law only the Roman Governor could legally and properly pass the death sentence. If Jesus, therefore, went along with the strict letter of the Mosaic Law, his enemies would lose no time in informing the Roman authorities that this Troublesome Preacher from Galilee was setting himself up as a rival authority and would have to be dealt with by Rome. They would also go to the religious Jews and say that Jesus is being disloyal to their old Jewish Law. Jesus dealt with this problem by taking them upon himself. Rlipki, Love is the Essence of God and Mercy is the Nature of God. God’s Nature is to forgive. Turn back to Him and stay with Him. He doesn’t want you to be alone. When we feel depressed and having thoughts you have, we also try to shut ourselves away from God. We find it desperately hard to turn to God for company when we are painfully aware that loneliness is destroying a vital part of us. Your loneliness mostly is self-inflicted and it makes us feel miserable. In your case rlipki, you are deliberately holding back from coming to seek Him, and it looks like you prefer sadness and emptiness of being alone. Come back to Him and you will see, how your spirit and emotions will be lifted up. Don’t let those inner voices dictate where your soul should be. THERE IS HOPE!
As a Meseanic Jew, I do feel that we are still bound by the Law. However (and I can,t speak for all MJ’s) the Law fortold the coming of Yeshua. As the Perfect Priest and the Perfect Sacrifice, he atoned for all sins, even those considered unforgivable by the “letter” of the Law. When I began attending a Jewish Synagogue, for the first time in my life I felt truely conected to God and His people (I was raised Baptist, my father’s family is Jewish). Yet I still turned away! I am truely tired of dening who and what I am. My problem is I am torn between am I “A creation of God, that has a purpose and a plan from God” or “A wretched piece of ______ that can’t even turn to God from fear that I am faking it”. If I am the latter there truly is no point of going on. I refuse to turn to wordly things to medicate the pain. I truly belive that the purpose of man is to worship God, and be a light unto the world. Even with this knowledge, I turn from Him! The best anolagie I can think of is this. You have a really bad sunburn. You wake up on the third or forth day and it doesn’t hurt any more. The abseance of that pain seems to be the best feeling in the world. My life is a sunburn. I just want the pain to stop.
I so know what you mean I was diagnosed with bi-polar in january , I was seperated in nov07 and was served with divorce papres 3 wks ago. I went on a spending spree to help with the pain now I am 30htousand in debt I have 4 children , there ages are 5,4,3, and 1 year and 9 months.
We physically built a 5000 sq ft home 2 years ago I drove my mother in law and father in law away and was abusive with my wife , now all gone so I know EXACTLY what you are going through I am living in a apt i cannot afford only 1 bedroom , and wife filed and was served 3 wks ago, i did not hire a lawyer and agreed to everything , dont wantt to hurt the faamily more than i have
God bless
Scott
i> small>(email removed) /small> /i>
Why dont you check into a facility where you can receive 24 hour counseling and take the time to face your problems head on with professional help. I know you are in debt but can’t you go to your Rabbi for help in finding you a place through the charity of his congregation? Go to the local authorities, and ask for help. Remember, “If you do what you’ve done, you will get what you’ve got.” you have to break the cycle of self destruction, why do you continue to punish yourself.
hello i am some different to others,
m from Pakistan,but i present here in uae but i need a female if any divorced or single its doesn’t matter for me.m a Muslim but i hate the Muslim people he don’t no the meaning of human,if any female wont merry me so i will honestly pass my enough life with her’s feet,n i also come to christian for her n for me this a pure tru i make myself for her,i like n love my holy Jesus please if any people help me in this matter so this to much kindness on myself please i no have hope of alive i think some good christian help me in this natter cuz Muslim people not help me n now i no need to Muslim people help me i hate the Muslim,i also hate myself cuz y i born here in Pakistan but this is my bad luck! ok i have a especial message for Christians!
my dear friends if u no help me its doesn’t matter for me but please u must to punctual for pray n u also everyday must go to holy church,please this my very poor request please leave the sin love the or holy Jesus,then he is love us please believe me i also going to holy church here in sharjeh please n what he say!do it always if u wont real successfully so u must leave the al sin and love the our holy Jesus,that AL ok thank u very much take care n God bless u
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