Eye help: I can’t pretend anymore. - Help.com

what do you want out of life….if you don’t like what you have in life then change your life to fit what you want.

It sounds like you are under tremendous pressure and tension. Too much tension is dangerous and destructive for you as you clearly expressed it. You are in your breaking point. What happened, may I ask?

I recently came back to school (college) after dropping out 3 times and paying significantly financially…

But, I’m not sure this is what I want. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s not.

I feel like I am meant to be a healer, involved in holistic health care.

But, I just don’t trust myself anymore. This would be my 4th time switching majors…

Also, I’m 22 years old and fairly financially dependent on my father. Therefore, he makes a lot of decisions for me…He’s starting to say he doesn’t think I should be in school right now.

But he puts a lot of pressure on me to finish school.

And lately, every time he talks to me, he suggests I get “put into a program”. But, I am not an addict and I don’t NEED a program.

g.i.o.cchin, you are a 22 years old young person, I should say ADULT. In your age, you are responsible for yourself, you are not a kid anymore to be dependent upon your parents. Your mind clearly states you are not up to studying at this moment. No matter how many times you will try it, you are just not motivated to finish it at this moment in your life. Why don’t you get a job or two and move out from home, support yourself and be responsible for yourself. You are old enough to make your own decisions what is better for you and what to do, not your dad. If you decided to stay home while holding a job, give some of your salary to your father since you live there. He will look at you differently and will see a responsible grown-up, not a confused child. You have a whole life in front of you to study, even if you want to finish college later on in your life. You will be more mature then to know what you want exactly. If you think it is destructive to live at home, just because you are financially dependent, do something about it. Move out, rent something inexpensive or live with a willing friend and help to pay the rent. Take a break from studying right now. You will increase student loans or your father’s payments and at the end you will give up. Tell me what you think.

I appreciate your input. I think you are absolutely correct…I need to get my act together and begin acting like an adult so that I will be treated like an adult.

It’s just…a rocky path.

shmarmy, it is never an easy task to “put your act together” and to enter your own path. We all had gone through this feeling before. We felt insecure, doubting our own selves, did not trust we were capable of entering that path. Naturally, we could not go back to our safety net, our parents’ support because we’d outgrown the nest..and we were not yet ready to fight the fights of real life alone. We saw, what you saw: the path we wanted was rocky. Have courage young man, you are a strong, determined person who just happens to go through some difficult times. Trust yourself you can do it, and go for it. Take a break from studies for a year or two, work, travel, have new friends, do lots of fun and good things for yourself. By the way, did you realize you know exactly what you want to do? You said you were interested on holistic healing. Do you want to become a Naturopath or something similar? You see? You think you are lost but in fact you want to help people! Have courage, trust yourself, we are with you!!!

I am 27, I depend on my dad he decide for me he wants me to go to grad school which I want but i dont want to still depend on him but i dont know how to tell him. i live in a place where i can no longer work because of papers issues but i can go to another country and get a good job and be independent but my boyfriend is in the place where i am now and i dont want to leave him but i feel i am waisting my time and my ability to become what i want because i dont want to leave my boyfriend and i have to respect what my dad wants for me which is to pursue my master, being 27 with a child of five and still depend on my dad is such a shame that i dont even know what to think of myself i dont want to leave the men i love to pursue a career and at the same time i am scared to tell my dad that i do not want to depend on him anymore