life help: So now what? - Help.com

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Drawing conclusions like that can lead you do develop characteristics of a person who has already experienced such a thing. Which can lead you to enclose your true self within the shell of an older lonelier and much more insecure woman - hiding who you really are from any potential partner who may come along.

It a hard trial your going through, but its only the end of the world if you allow it to be. our life is what we make it - and we are who we choose to be. Please consider who your choosing to allow yourself to be … and dont make choices off of how this trial is making you feel - or you may find yourself becoming a living and breathing “feeling”.

…. if you know what i mean.

Besides… when we make desicions for other people and then start to react off of them - we take away their ability to make one with us.

What you just said could be whats making you have doubts.its that mindset of ‘its always been this way’ that needs to change.You need to try and put things behind you somehow.This will take time And when your ready, start a new.begin with small things like getting rid of reminders,replace old with new,whatever makes you feel good and hopeful.Just because its always been this way,doesnt mean it will continue.we cant predict the future all we can do is hope for better and expect the best.to trust new people your going to have to take small risks and open up your heart or nothing good has a chance to enter.I hope you choose to do that ,to tdo otherwise will only be self-defeating.

Ok, i see your not ready yet,and thats ok.but just dont let yourself think the odds are against you,thats where the doubts come in.Im wondering if thers a urgency in finding a love or partner or whatever you want.and why,se*,loneliness,just a want.etc..My advice would be to just let things ride and see what happens.keeping the hope.I’ve been alone for 20 years and i figure if i dont have another someone for the nest 20 years,it was meant to be.and if/when I do say at age 65 and live to be 85,theres 20 years I will have had with the ONE.see, thers no rush.

It will take time to heal… over the wounds that have been inflicted… and the trust that has been lost, however, I believe you can do this….

You are not an awful person… and I seriously doubt that you are bad looking… However.. if you get in a hurry… you could wind up making a worse mistake… there are many many people in the world today, with things that they want to hide… trying to find someone decent, is kinda like looking for a needle in a haystack… and requires great caution.. I think.

I am very glad that I am not in the market.. because I really… really think it would be hard… to find Mr. Right. I guess I am being pesimistic… and that is probably not what you want to hear… but, I would like to urge extreme caution…. check the person out.. if they are real.. they won’t mind… ask detailed questions.. and do not be afraid to do so…. then, back them up with reports.. explain that you have been traumitized….by someone you trusted.. and do not want to have that happen again…. ask them for their permission to check them out… if they decline… run.

Find out everything you possibly can about a person, before you give your heart to them….

And not sure where or if God fits into your life.. but, the bible says, with him, all things are possible….

Many blessings…

I’m so sorry I don’t respond to your invites promptly, I don’t find time to get on the site much anymore…

But I hope you read this. :)

Love is complicated, but each person has someone out there made specially for them. I go through life with this belief as my second most important rule, the first being “treat others the way you want to be treated”. I get through break-ups and disastrous relationships easily…. so many of my friends ask whats wrong with me, and if I ever even liked the girl I was with. The answer is yes, but the belief that there is someone out there for me helps me get through it. If you break up with someone, or divorce someone (in your case) it just means they weren’t the one that is destined for you. Don’t be discouraged, don’t be sad. Carry on with life! You will find the one eventually. Or, they will find you. Whatever happens happens, but you’re destined to find someone.

:)