writing help: i am beginging to write songs but i am seeming to wonder why i only write them when i feel a certain way. - Help.com

i am beginging to write songs but i am seeming to wonder why i only write them when i feel a certain way.

i seem to begining to write music (lyrics) and i get inspiration from over songs to help me but i seem to look at my songs again and not like them how can i make them better, this is one of them:

I Am Me.

Verse 1
What’s he got that I don’t have
Is he there to fill a void?
A space in your heart that is missing
Do you ever think about us two together again?
I bet you do

Chorus
You and me
You wanted me to change
I did but that wasn’t me
And, I am me
And you can’t change that

Verse 2
He has took you away
He has you in his grasp
Kissing his ***
Wrapped around his finger
With no self control, whatsoever

Bridge
Your not you
You’re his own invention
He controls you
I loved you
What has happened to you

Chorus (2nd Time)add on
No one can

Verse 3
Put this under your skin
Hear me scream
Telling you the truth
Your not you
Your what he wants you to be

Verse 4
I ain’t going to change for anyone x2
Cause I
Cause I
Cause I
Am me x2?

Chorus (3rd Time)

Verse 5/ Bridge 2

Because I am me
And nothing, and no one is going to change that

For the third time I sing the chorus:
No you Cant change that
It wasn’t me
It was an interpretation of how you wanted me
And I am me
Not someone that you wanted me to be

how could it be improved to be the best it can be any help is great so give me some great tips and tell what you think?

This open post was written 3 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 152, 3, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Indigo_Rain offline Verified User (4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 390 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (14 minutes after post)

First, I would like to say that this is very very good. And that I probably shouldn’t be commenting since it’s hard to focus on a song while listening to a song. But I do like it, lots and lots.

One of the only things I would change is the chorus, since the distribution of syllables is a tad weird.

But other then that, put to the right music, this could be amazing.

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jewel_faith5 offline Verified User (6 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
US | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (3 hours, 41 minutes after post)

i dont have any comment for u to change anything. when ppl write something and then read it when they are done they often dont like it. some do but those are those who are truly confident. dont sweat it just let some ppl read it they arent gonna tell u its good if it sucks! they might but not on here nobody knows who u r and isnt gonna tell u lies cuz they have no reason to.

well… i would change the wording on this line though “I did but that wasn’t me”

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