First of all how are you jab?
just fine, still feeling great after recent events.
just making some hard decisions
highschool, but I am more mature than my peers.
Don’t feel any kind of rush to make a committment to anybody just yet. Girls come and girls go. The same goes for girls. Guys come (no pun intended) and guys go. But you have to realize that right now the only thing that should really be on your mind and future is graduating from high school and going to college. Are you going to college?
also, I am willing to accept that I am meant for someone else, I just want to quadruple check that there is not a solution, and this is only the double check
Right now you are not meant for anyone and neither is your girlfriend. You are fretting too much over this. Give it time. Do what you normally do with your time and efforts to graduate from high school.
how much do you really know of your girlfriend… 3 out of every 5 girls/women are molested. Is she one of the three? If she has been molested and has not sought counseling, the fear of intimacy is one classic symptom.
If you love her, love her with her inhibitions. If you are confident about yourself, there is no need to feel alienated or insecure. Be patient and completely accepting, you will see strong>she will come around /strong>!
amalitagor wrote:
If you love her, love her with her inhibitions. If you are confident about yourself, there is no need to feel alienated or insecure. Be patient and completely accepting, you will see strong>she will come around /strong>!
it’s not about insecurity, some people communicate in physical contact, it’s all about the individual. when I can’t express my love, I feel alienated and unfulfilled, and I may need to accept that we just didn’t know entirely who each other is.
I will still love her, but she may just not be the one to marry, and I had prepared myself to accept that fact if I had to.
littlenick wrote:
Right now you are not meant for anyone and neither is your girlfriend. You are fretting too much over this. Give it time. Do what you normally do with your time and efforts to graduate from high school.
I have been considering just putting a wait on the relationship to get that out of the way.
I just need to know if I should try to reconcile the problem, than put on the wait until we have time in our lives to move forward. or if I should just recognize the problem as a compatibility difference, look to the future of a woman that one day will be what I need, and just drop the relationship with dignity for both of us, like a real man should.
Richard cor de lyon wrote:
how much do you really know of your girlfriend… 3 out of every 5 girls/women are molested. Is she one of the three? If she has been molested and has not sought counseling, the fear of intimacy is one classic symptom.
not from what she’s told me, but I wouldn’t eliminate the possibility entirely.
she tells me that when she was younger, her cousin got pregnant, and her parents embedded an extra measure of caution with her.
but she seems to have the personality to communicate more in some other way than physical affection displays. if that is the case, we may just not be very compatable for a romantic relationship.
Jabbox… I have to tell you I’m impressed. For a young man of 17 or 18, you have a very mature, laser sharp acuity on this issue. You are 100% correct regarding physical compatibility. If you are physically affectionate, and your partner is not… it will not work, or will require a good deal more work and understanding from both partners in order to make it work. I for one can tell you that work… that understanding is NOT easy.
I’m glad you can remain open for regarding a possible molestation… If a moment presents itself, you may even ask outright. I understand what you’ve been told, but a near complete withdrawal of physical affection in someone of this age (if she is near your age) is a little over the top. Women are usually much more mature about all this than we guys are. The explanation of the fear of god put in her by her parents about getting pregnant doesn’t jibe to me. Perhaps the “cousin” is someone closer than we think. I apologize for my own over the top perspective, but I’ve personally have had to deal with this situation twice in very personal circumstances. One woman turned out to have been incestuously molested for 7 years… another had been raped. Victims of these crimes can grow into very cold physically withdrawn women if they do not get the help they need.
I wish you luck and
Bright blessings ~ Richard
Richard cor de lyon wrote:
Jabbox… I have to tell you I’m impressed. For a young man of 17 or 18, you have a very mature, laser sharp acuity on this issue. You are 100% correct regarding physical compatibility. If you are physically affectionate, and your partner is not… it will not work, or will require a good deal more work and understanding from both partners in order to make it work. I for one can tell you that work… that understanding is NOT easy.
I’m glad you can remain open for regarding a possible molestation… If a moment presents itself, you may even ask outright. I understand what you’ve been told, but a near complete withdrawal of physical affection in someone of this age (if she is near your age) is a little over the top. Women are usually much more mature about all this than we guys are. The explanation of the fear of god put in her by her parents about getting pregnant doesn’t jibe to me. Perhaps the “cousin” is someone closer than we think. I apologize for my own over the top perspective, but I’ve personally have had to deal with this situation twice in very personal circumstances. One woman turned out to have been incestuously molested for 7 years… another had been raped. Victims of these crimes can grow into very cold physically withdrawn women if they do not get the help they need.
I wish you luck and
Bright blessings ~ Richard
thanks, I appreciate the advice. people like you are why this site exists.
it’s not about insecurity, some people communicate in physical contact, it’s all about the individual. when I can’t express my love, I feel alienated and unfulfilled, and I may need to accept that we just didn’t know entirely who each other is.
I will still love her, but she may just not be the one to marry, and I had prepared myself to accept that fact if I had to.
If this is your gut feeling; you are probably right! Good luck.
littlenick
Richard Cor de Lyon
amalitagor