Love help: How much of yourself should you have to change for the one you love? - Help.com

As much as they have to change themselves to make you happy. In an ideal world no one would have to sacrifice, change or quit doing or being what they like and who they are for anyone else….we don’t live in utopia so it’s all about compromise.

anonymous is right… just about perfectly said. ;)

smokn’s right too, he’s very wise sometimes :) hi smokey *hugs*

Yes… compromise is one thing. But to actually change yourself, to alter your core belief’s, goals, ambitions… this would be folly. If your love requires you to change core things… then it’s not love for you. It’s love for something you might be. So lets look at you 7 years down the road (if it takes that long). You’ve made all these changes for your lover… they in turn… make few. Do you start to feel resentful. very possibly. It is more difficult to change a core belief then you might think. Yes… you can compromise time after time after time… but actual core change is not so easy… and your core starts calling to you… I miss myself… I miss who I WAS! Can you ever have that person again? YES! BUT… Not and keep your lover.

Don’t change for love… Love will find you… and if it finds you worthy will be happy with who you are, and will want nothing from you, but to SHARE your self with itself. As Gibran writes.. “… may you be like the strings on the same lute… even though you are separate you quiver with the same music…”

Bright blessings ~ Richard

you dont need to chang ANYTHING about you! just be who you are and if they dont love you for who ou are then as harsh as it sounds… you dont need them in your life.

I don’t believe in changing the person you are.
I believe in IMPROVING yourself.

The person you are with should bring out the best “YOU” there is…
you should compliment each other.

Find someone who accept you for who you are regardless on your flaws and shortcomings. If you do need to change yourself, only do it for yourself and nobody else.

unless you are consciously changing your self for the better like confidence you don’t need to change. if you like playing videogames a girlfriend can’t stop you from doing the things you like to do. DON’T let anyone change your values or how you want to live.

I’ve never understood how someone can be attracted to
someone else then want to change them. To me that’s
like being with one person but wanting to be with
another. It’s never made sense to me. However if one
of you starts changing after the relationship starts,
then yeah, change is an issue.

Only the parts you want to change. You shouldn’t have to change the parts of you that you like though and that make you who you are.

Depends how much you love the person. If you are willing to change and stay that way it can’t be so hard. If changing is hard work then the person is not for you.

Not that you have to change for them. You can do stuff that is new to you so to make the person you love happy. BUT, make sure that the other person would do their job too. If not, it won’t be possible for the love to grow.

Compromise.

I wouldn’t change myself for anyone. However, I guess there are a few things that are exceptions. Like attitudes. I mean if an a**hole doesn’t want to change and it’s annoying his/or partner, then if they don’t change their attitude, chances are they’re going to regret it. I think it also comes with learning from your mistakes too.

But seriously, if you were to change for the person you love or the person who loves you, wouldn’t that defeat the entire point? They wouldn’t be loving you anymore. They fell in love with you because of who you are, changing it, would just create the opposite. And if they’re asking you to change the things you can’t, then really, they never actually loved you in the first place.

You shouldn’t at all.