friends help: I feel so cruel. - Help.com

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Well you first need to talk to your friend and make her realize that you didn’t mean to cause so much offence. You could sit down with her and just apologize saying that you didn’t mean everything that you said. Have to tried telling her that you just want to friends and that you don’t feel the same way about her? I think as long as she knows she has got a friend, she will probably appreciate it.

Your “friend” was trying to pressure you into something you didn’t want to do, which was to have an intimate encounter with her. She didn’t have the good sense to back off when you made it clear to her that you were not of that “persuasion.” You have nothing to be ashamed of, and nothing to apologize for. You were not cruel. You simply asserted your right to be “straight,” which was something the other girl chose not to heed or respect. You are better off without this person in your life.

she should understand that your not bi.
ive felt like that alot, i think its wierd when your hanging out with a girl thats bi and compliments you alot and admits to liking you, because im straight and it makes me feel extremely uncomfortable even though i have no problem with bi/gay people.

alot of people seem to get a little stalkerish and tries to get alot of attention from you. i hate it!!

maybe you should talk to her and just tell her that you dont have any feelings for her, or any girls. make it clear you like penises. hahaha but not in a rude way.

and tell her why you dont want to be friends with her anymore, it might be hard because shes so sensitive but i think it will be better in the end

tell her no hard feelings though, and that shes a great person.

cheer her up you know?

I am in this same situation!
My friend who is not gay at all… acts gay toward me.
She constantly wants to “cuddle” when we are sitting together.
If she stays at my place… she wants to sleep in my MY bed.
I haven’t spoken to her in a month because I felt smothered by her…
She calls me at least 4 times aday and text me at least 3 to 5 times a day.

It drives me insane! I told her several times I am busy being a mom!
I am 31 she is 24…

I really feel like she likes me more than a friend.
I am not into her like that. I am strictly dickly…
I like men. I have nothing against gay people, I have a few friends that are gay!
But SHE just needs to back off..

So my advice.. you have told her how you feel. Maybe because you feel like you where to harsh.. send her a card and tell her that you didn’t mean to hurt her but you just wanted her to understand your position.

I wish you luck..
let me know how it goes..

HUGS: Kima

I think that in your situation honesty is the best policy. You told her that you didn’t feel the same way about her. That is good. I think she was trying to push you into a relationship and using friendship as a guise. You are probably better off leaving things alone, she will contact you if she feels that the friendship is worth it, because she has to realize that it can go no further. So don’t worry that you were too mean-you did what a friend should do-tell the truth. Somethmes its just hard to hear.

Based from my past experience, I think that the fact that you know that she likes you, and because you are not interested in her, you tend to focus mainly on the negative aspects of her (like everything about her just makes you cringe). To add to this she is really needy so it makes you want to push her away even more.

I think being frank with her was the only way to be direct and to the point. We all tend to say rash things before thinking and tend to regret - but it got the msg through to her. The next time you see her, you can apologize but let her know that you’re feelings still stand - you just didn’t mean to sound as harsh (emotions get the best of you!) By the way, do you still want to be her friend?

If not, I think you should just distance yourself from her. Rather than hanging out with only her alone, try to hang out with a group of mutual friends to avoid the awkwardness.

Anonymous wrote:
Your “friend” was trying to pressure you into something you didn’t want to do, which was to have an intimate encounter with her. She didn’t have the good sense to back off when you made it clear to her that you were not of that “persuasion.” You have nothing to be ashamed of, and nothing to apologize for. You were not cruel. You simply asserted your right to be “straight,” which was something the other girl chose not to heed or respect. You are better off without this person in your life.

exactly true. you taught her a much-needed lesson about boundaries. a normal person understands rejection. it takes something wrong with them to continue to persist, like a personality flaw. you need to know that about all people.

No problems. I hope everything works out for you. We’re always here if you want to talk about it. :)

U hav 2 protect urself im not sayn dont chat 2 people & bcome a recluse but,,,
The way i see it is i can have a laugh show my feminine side although believe im strictly 4 the ladies but i hav had unwelcome advances off men & jus bcoz im a man does not make it any easier or right for people too force there feelings onto u or me!!! hmmm dont know if im makn that much sense but.
You should not allow this person to make you feel trapped, & jus bcoz u avoid confrontation that makes the best of us squirm, Doesnt mean you are a bad person so you use wotever support networks you have & keep smilin eh? i hope this helped a little if not i’ll drop a poem by sometime if you want depressing lol.

It can be a bit overwellming to hear news like that so dont worry things like that happen basiccly if you told her you werent interested then she shouldnt have pushed you like that but if you still want to be friend just try talking to her mabe you could both make-up.
Hope this helps?

You -both- have to want *just* friendship if this were to work out. Differing expectations(when there really shouldn’t be any in the first place) would simply open up lots of room for mutual misintepretation and misunderstanding, which seems to me to be the reason why what happened happened. I suspect at this point in time its easiest to break things off if the friendship is going to be a means to an end for her. Its a pity, but I’m not sure if it can be helped, really. Going on like that would only further irritate you and dissapoint her. Perhaps next time it’ll be best to draw clear lines which she shouldnt cross, and try being friends that way. Not sure if it’ll be terribly artificial though.