Love help: Is Help.com big enough? - Help.com

sometimes only a few people are replying a lot. did you ever have one friend constantly replying to the same posts as you?

what? our help isn’t good enough 4 u?

If we had more, we might just have the community be less connected, have more assholes.

maube it just that everyone has the same problems…

I appreciate your concern hun,but personally,I think I can handle it having been burned out before I won’t allow myself to go down that road again.Are you a worry wart? lol :/

mas1s wrote:
No I’m saying that I keep seeing the same (ultra-kind) people going in time and time again to help on certain subjects. Especially suicide and cutting. I just wonder how long they can sustain that level of ‘helping’. My concern is as much for the people who are helping here as those they are helping - Regards Mas

I think thats a wonderful point and I completely understand what you mean. (At least.. I think I do lol) I know im not here as often as I could be and im not always that helpful, but certain subjects I do know about, and sometimes reading and replying to a field I might be able to help with is a tad tedious.

I think if there were more people, there would be more opinions and more life experiences that would be shared, but also more arrogance and lack of acceptance. It would seem to much like the “real world” where theres a lot of rejection, and thats what most people are afraid of. More people simply means it could really go either way; helpful or not.

mas1s wrote:
No I’m saying that I keep seeing the same (ultra-kind) people going in time and time again to help on certain subjects. Especially suicide and cutting. I just wonder how long they can sustain that level of ‘helping’. My concern is as much for the people who are helping here as those they are helping - Regards Mas

I think I know what your trying to say, I got a little confused. My helpfullness is running out with suicide threats and cutters. I used to be so helpfull to them and really want to help but now I just click toggle all then hit mark as seen. I feel bad but I don’t want to have to hear the same sod story over and over again. I know this is so mean, but there is only so much I can stand. It’s like they all have the same story which I know isn’t true but it seems like it.

Well dont worry Mas, as life goes on, more problems occur which means more people look for help and find us! It is sad that people leave when they could help, but I suppose this is like a stage of life. You seek help, you find help, you accept help, you move on. I dont know, I dont think Ill ever be able to leave, not now that I know help is here.

mas1s wrote:
NEONgreen TULIPS - I know that feeling - that is kind of what inspired this question.

The other above reply was to Kemmy BTW

I think we should direct people who start writing posts talking about cutting themselves to a special page with loads of advice we’ve already given.

Thats a good idea, but Id feel like I was just brushing people off.

kemmy wrote:
Thats a good idea, but Id feel like I was just brushing people off.

Well It wouldn’t brush them off, they could still continue writing the post, it would just open a new tab with the advice automatically. We could do this for relationship posts as well.

You can see it when someone say “I’m going to kill myself tonight, don’t as why, bye” users are like well, we know you want help or else you wouldn’t have came here to say you were going too. And even though I feel mean just clicking the mark as seen button I know those people will get help from someone.

Commander Ikari wrote:

mas1s wrote:
NEONgreen TULIPS - I know that feeling - that is kind of what inspired this question. The other above reply was to Kemmy BTW

I think we should direct people who start writing posts talking about cutting themselves to a special page with loads of advice we’ve already given.

I don’t think that would work too well. Even though I’m sick of all the stories what I love best about Help.com is that you are getting immediate help from a real person, you get their concern, their thoughts and their feelings. When we redirect them to a page it’s not the same. They would be like Help.bot, the first time you see one you read it, but from then on you just ignore it.

You know I look at this place as an online crisis hotline. Working the crisis phone lines, we had alot of long term callers. And even in that area there is always a need for more volunteers.

Who are we to say that trying to convince someone to get off the computer and step into real life is ideal for them? I understand what you are saying, but perhaps this help site is thier only source of normalcy and contentment. We have to remember that there are many people with many issues in thier lives and as healthy as thier post may seem, just like on the crisis line, they are reaching out for specific reasons, and one is the outside world isn’t helping.

We could always use more people on this site, but just to reassure you as much as I help here, my lifestyle permits me to. I help because I WANT TO BE HERE, and I am not going anywhere. I understand that some people may get “burned out” and establishing friendships on here to give an outlet to talk and chat about something or someone on this site, is healthy and helpful.

The crisis line workers encouraged us to talk with the personelle at least once a month to help put things in perspective. It’s hard to sit and not be able to grab someone by the shirt collar and force them to look at themselves, but you know what… this site is excellent because you don’t have to feel like you have to answer every single post. The crisis line is different, when that phone rings, you pick up and you do not know what you are getting on the other end.

For those who feel overwhelmed, I would suggest maybe signing yourself up for training on suicide and cutting. And it’s okay to take a break from it all…

Not everyone is cut out to volunteer thier time like the group of people do on this site. I myself, this is what I feel I was meant to do, this is my calling and nothing will drag me away from helping others.

Neon, See, even phsyciatrist can get burned out, and perhaps that is why pple turn here because they no longer feel a connection with thier therapist. Please do not feel bad. You are human and you can only give what you have in you to give. You are an awesome asset!

Cammander, as much as that is a good idea, as much as suicide posts may seem repetitive, there is nothing like a connection a suicidal person wants with interaction from another person even if it is a stranger. They do not want to be passed on, that happens to much in thier real life… every situation is unique and when talking to a suicidal, one has to peal back the layers of the onion called thier life to get to the heart of the matter and that doesn’t happen in an hour chat session or a few messages back and forth… like the crisis lines, it takes months of the caller calling back talking to other volunteers, and just being listened to.

NEONgreenTULIPS wrote:
You can see it when someone say “I’m going to kill myself tonight, don’t as why, bye” users are like well, we know you want help or else you wouldn’t have came here to say you were going too. And even though I feel mean just clicking the mark as seen button I know those people will get help from someone.

Commander Ikari wrote:

mas1s wrote:
NEONgreen TULIPS - I know that feeling - that is kind of what inspired this question. The other above reply was to Kemmy BTW

I think we should direct people who start writing posts talking about cutting themselves to a special page with loads of advice we’ve already given.

Did you read this?

Commander Ikari wrote:

kemmy wrote:
Thats a good idea, but Id feel like I was just brushing people off.

Well It wouldn’t brush them off, they could still continue writing the post, it would just open a new tab with the advice automatically. We could do this for relationship posts as well.

We could do it for other repetitive, but less dangerous problems as well too.

I don’t think that would work too well. Even though I’m sick of all the stories what I love best about Help.com is that you are getting immediate help from a real person, you get their concern, their thoughts and their feelings. When we redirect them to a page it’s not the same. They would be like Help.bot, the first time you see one you read it, but from then on you just ignore it.

mas1s wrote:
- I just wondered how people could be encouraged to come back and help -

like the older members leaving? or spending less time because they don’t get their thanks? When a person’s problem is solved that is thanks enough for me, knowing that I helped them.

True Mas… we do need to recognize and thank this site.

“Thank you help site!!”

mas1s wrote:
Thanks Kemmy - I think you ‘get’ me lol - Mas

Anytime Mas! lol

Hi Mas, I know this is on your mind, as you have mentioned it before. But, how would you contact the members who have left?

If you know how, I would say, go for it, what can it hurt?

Just drop in, and say hi, and tell them that they are missed….

If nothing more, it would surely make their day.

I have a friend that was on, but, somehow can’t get back on, and I even made a post asking how to get her back on, but, somehow have not yet gotten the job done… Maybe, you could be of help with her? I can give you her email, and I imagine that I have clicked so you can email me from here??? If not, I will… However, I just remembered, I have your email, so, I will email you her address, and maybe you can find out what questions need to be asked and who can answer them.

She was not baned, she just can’t get on, for some reason.

She is a very empathetic person, and a teacher, with a huge heart, to help others. Her name is Vickie. Although she did not have a lot of time, she did enjoy being here when she could. I have missed her a lot.

As for the other users, and helpers, that is continually a roll over, or has been since I have been here. New users, new helpers, etc.. It is constantly changing. And many times, I have seen where people posted that they were taking a break, which is a very good thing.

As for me, I agree with Srnity, that this is my calling, and I am here to answer it, to the best of my ability, and I know that I can speak for Felicity, that she feels the same way.

I take time off to walk on the farm, which is very good, nature has a way of putting everything back into prospective, and working with the animals, is a welcome relief, at times. It is very healing, and I know that burn out is a very real thing, I think I walked in it for years, in the workplace.

If I feel my productivity level slacking off, or tiredness, or irritation coming on, I get away for a while, regroup, and refresh. And without my daily devotional time, spent with the Lord, in prayer, and meditation, and in the word, before starting each day, I would not last very long, at all. He is my rock. My fortress. My encourager, My everything.

I love people, and trying to be of help, and trying to build faith, and bridges, that have been burned, trying to restore them, to where they once were, or build one, if one never existed. But, without God, I would be totally lost.

Any good that comes out of my posts, come from him, and what he has taught me over the years, however, it took perserverance on my part, he did not just open my brain, and drop it in… ^j^

Getting late… eyes getting a little heavy… see you all tommorrow, Good Lord willing. (((hugs)))

mas1s wrote:
Thank you Silverwings - please do email me the address. The one little thing I have picked up on in here is that I seem to be able to find people, maybe that is my piece of the jigsaw lol - Sleep well Mas

Oh, you have a much bigger piece than that.. Lol… ~smiles~

I just sent you both an email, so, it should get done, I look very forward to seeing her on here again. She is very knowledgeable on many subjects, and very caring, deals with young people all the time, has had to deal with a lot of sickness, and has been a caregiver, so thru it all, she is very empathetic.

Blessings….