Love help: I’ve never had a boyfriend. - Help.com

I’ve never had a boyfriend.

I’m old enough to be married
I haven’t kissed a guy in almost 3 years.
I have 2 friends who would marry me but I don’t love them they way they love me. I’ve tried to make myself love them.
and I have no friends in this stupid town.
most people think i have EVERYTHING
but it’s embarrassing because they think that I have everything but they know I have no friends. I’m a paradox.
Whenever I make plans, my friends cancel, or, I just end up with people who are lame- drink too much, drugs, immature, ect.
and I cry every saturday night because I’m lonely.
and I’m attractive, but not attracted to anyone but “him”
“he” is not right for me
and all I can control in my stupid life is my wieght and how much I eat. so I’m anorexic. And the skinnier i get, the more I feel like I’m CHANGING something-because SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE. So I’ll get skinnier, I know I can. I won’t get disgustingly thin.
I keep thinking that even if this guy isn’t going to love me back, we’ll at least be friends. maybe he can rescue me. maybe he’ll look so deep into my eyes that he’ll see me-all my flaws and he’ll know exactly what to say and exactly what to do in order to rescue me. deep down I know that he isn’t capable of that. so I try to think of other ways that I can control my life, I just want someone to rescue me.
something has to change.

This open post was written 3 years, 1 month ago | V/U/S: 1,137, 14, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Post Tags (9)

Love, anorexic, Saturday Night, i have no friends, up with people, boyfriend, married, friends, Mood (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (14)

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free edited this post 3 years, 1 month ago. Read the previous text »

I’ve never had a boyfriend.
I’m old enough to be married
I haven’t kissed a guy in almost 3 years.
I have 2 friends who would marry me but I don’t love them they way they love me. I’ve tried to make myself love them.
and I have no friends in this stupid town.
most people think i have EVERYTHING
but it’s embarrassing because they think that I have everything but have not strong socal ties. I’m a paradox.
Whenever I make plans, my friends cancel, or, I just end up with people who are lame- drink too much, drugs, immature, ect.
and I cry every saturday night because I’m lonely.
and I’m attractive, but not attracted to anyone but “him”
“he” is not right for me
and all I can control in my stupid life is my wieght and how much I eat. so I’m anorexic. And the skinnier i get, the more I feel like I’m CHANGING something-because SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE. So I’ll get skinnier, I know I can. I won’t get disgustingly thin.
I keep thinking that even if this guy isn’t going to love me back, we’ll at least be friends. maybe he can rescue me. maybe he’ll look so deep into my eyes that he’ll see me-all my flaws and he’ll know exactly what to say and exactly what to do in order to rescue me. deep down I know that he isn’t capable of that. so I try to think of other ways that I can control my life, I just want someone to rescue me.
something has to change.

capital_barbie9 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 3 years, 1 month ago (1 hour, 34 minutes after post)

ok u need to sort yourself out and fast, skinny is not healthy but if you feel you are happy thin well its your decision but men like bodies with natural curves and taking drugs, and drinking never helps anyone, crying may seem as though it may not help, but if you need to cry, do so.

if he doesnt love you back, you need to move on, harder done than said but if you are ready to be married, go out and find someone worth YOUR love.

you need to find something you love doing, be happy!! hobbies, friends, if your friends cancel, are they real friends? your decision noone is telling you what to do, you only have choice which will brig you to your destination

i hope my opinion is a inspiration for you to be happy,
allie maggie, 15

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free offline Verified User (3 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 years, 1 month ago (7 hours, 50 minutes after post)

thank you.

I don’t drink very much at all. I get drunk like 2 or 3 times a year, and never do drugs-that’s why I don’t enjoy the time that I acutally do spend with “him” and his friends. He’s one of those guys who is the “beautiful person” when we’re alone- he is sometimes with his friends too, but he is increasingly becoming a person that I can no longer identify with, and a person that he has explicitly stated he does not want to be. and he’s just not that into me. I’m liking him less, and trying to love him less too. I’m in my angry at “him” stage- I think it’s good that I’m angry because I’ll be more likely to detach myself. I’m angry that he isn’t the MAN that I know he can be, but I guess that shouldn’t be my problem. He drinks heavily AT LEAST once a week-to him fun after dark= drinking.

I’ve never had such cliche problems. I have a hard time believing this is MY life.

“go out and find someone” it’s kind of hard to do when I don’t exacly have the friends to do so. I have a very social hobby that I can do alone or in groups, but the people I meet doing it are a lot like him. Myspace? match.com? eharmony? I don’t see that happening.

I have curves, trust me- I’m not dillusional about that, I’m 5.4 and 127. That’s pretty average. I don’t think I can get past 120. The weight thing doesn’t have very much to do with guys. It’s more about me being able to change a situation-any situation.

I’m the type of person who looks at a situation and says “I can change it” and I figure it out- I do. But I feel like I’ve hit a wall. And all these “excuses,” well, they’re realistic reasons to me.

-free

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add00000 offline Verified User (3 years) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 years ago (1 month after post)

Hello, Free.

I’m kind of in the same boat as you with the friends situation.

“It’s kind of hard to go out and find someone when I don’t exacly have the friends to do so” - I know exactly what you mean.

Don’t think I have any advice on your guy situation, but I felt this post deserved a real reply, nonetheless.

additionpark (at) hotmail (dot) com (if ya need someone to talk to!)

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DancerLynn invited 3 users to read this post 2 years, 12 months ago.

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C.M.Theisen offline Verified User (3 years, 4 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
Providence, RI, US | 2 years, 12 months ago (1 month, 1 week after post)

You sound young - so in part you’re just dealing with the fact that teen-like immature behavior extends well into the 20s these days. Have you considered moving away from your town and starting someplace new? Maybe a radical change of environment is what you need. You defintely need a clean break from you object of desire. This can be hard. I speak from experience. In the past, it has literally taken me years to fully get over old loves. However, it does can and does happen eventually. So don’t lose hope. It helps if you conciously put more focus into other aspects of your life. Like moveing to a bigger city where more opportunities exist? Just a thought…

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lbwannab6 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 1 year, 1 month ago (1 year, 11 months after post)

be stronger for christs sake.u do needa change u needa not seem dependent on havin someone. u needa not b lonely ill put it as simple as i can, theres no such thing as luv or emotions they have no mass or weight so they cant b mesured therfore they dont exist. your all by urself in this world if u really want somethin u gotta work hard to get it cuz aint no one gonna give u anything, all you have is you and thats all you need period. you say u look good, just work hard n make urself who u wanna b n on tha way there maybe ull find some one. but dont say that u need someone to save u b strong an save urself.

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joane offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 6 months ago (2 years, 7 months after post)

I myself is in a delicate satuation, where as the man that i am inlove with does not love me as much as do he is forever busy i think that other ladies are keeping him occupied it hurts me so badly i tried to talk with him but he just behave for one day then his back to quare one what should i do?

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