boyfriend help: my boyfriend is always angry, not always with me he is just an angry person. - Help.com

im going thru the same. I love him but he needs to understand he cant deal with his emotions and have you pay for everything that his going thru…I put it like to my guy. I love you, but your hurting me when we fight. You don’t give the attention. You don’t talk about things. Then you get angry and aggresive and its not safe or healthy for us. I want to help you and talk about it. The way i see it..is talk to him but if he’s not willing to communicate hes probally not caring about the two of you. I told my guy i have a feeling theirs someone else. Especially when they change out of nowhere.

You don’t need to deal with any b s from anyone. Seriously I don’t! I cry over this and its not worth any tears especially if I cry and he seems not to care? How long have you guys been dating.?

what inner pain? i try to help him?

chances are he has unresolved issues - unfinished business from his past and that what you are is technically an emotional punching bag. It will not matter how much you talk, until you are blue in the face, he needs to make the decision to change - first he has to see that there is a problem and face it, then make a decision to change. Forms of counseling would help that - inner child work, Bowen technique. Getting to the root of the anger - most of the time the person that that person is with is just a trigger for the anger and not the actual reason for the anger. Know what I mean.

Hey im a boy and all the things that you women are saying are exactly like what my girlfriend says about us. And I know its not normal for me to get so angry about things that she does, but the thing is, she seems to be the opposite of what normal women are like! Normally its the girlfriend who tries to talk about things and sort problems out and the guy just doesnt open up and just shouts, but i ALWAYS tell my girlfirned every emotion i feel, and tell her all my troubles and never hide my feeligns. It is HER who never talks about anything. We have broken up yesterday for the 5th time in a year, and now im wondering is it ME thats bad in this relationship for getting angry at her, or is it her that is different and weird and causes the arguments? Is it wrong for me to get angry when she just hangs up the phone when im trying to sort out a dispute, or when she just goes to bed when im upset about something shes done? The thing is, 3 months ago, she cheated on me, but I love her so much that I stayed with her and forgave her. She never let me ask properly about the incident, so I feel constantly annoyed at her because I have never actually spoken to anyone about how I felt when she did that. She wont speak about it with me because if I say how I feel about what she did to me, she gets REALLY angry, and alot of the time punches me in the face. She attacks me alot when shes angry, but Ive never laid a finger on her. I need some advice from someone with experience… Am I a bad person for getting angry at her when she ignores me or doesnt open up, or is she in the wrong for never telling me anything or discussing our feelings? please reply

wow and here i am going through the same thing its not fair he wont talk he just gets mad this time because i was waiting for something to finish installing and i said “oh lets see whats supposed to drive a man crazy” and he turns around and goes “why the fk you looking up that sht for”….i just dont understand and now he is mad at me i cant figure it out but i have a feeling that regardless what i said he would have snapped. But like the original comment the first six months or so are great and you never see a bad side but im four years on and he is rarely happy with me but yet wont admit anything is wrong. I cant make him laugh anymore he just calls me an idiot, he even said once that i was “boring” lol it hurts really bad because everytime i have suggested something he says no thats lame but two days later he is doing that same thing with his friends, leave him lol yeah i thought about it but i feel like ive put so much time and effort in this relationship its almost a waste to let it go. So for anyone guy or girl out there all we can do is carry on with our lives the way we want them and i guess if they want to be a part of that then they need to man up or “stop being a ***** like ur misses mr_jason” otherwise we really need to move on and find someone that will appreciate us

Its Apekshya. my advice 4 u is that u should just try 2 know what he mean. Then there is a formula. You should try to fulfil his desires that r fair 2 ur feelings. nd try 2 convince him with the dtail of the fact. u shuld convince him. fone him in the morning evening nd all the day. Nd also make some jokes about flashing out ur relation between friends. If he didn’t make his mind set, then there is another suggestion. 2mro days, u should also find with him and don’t speak with him for some days. U should not appear on ur meting place but come infront of him with a different but attractive look. That every guys have intention on u. u should make these arrangements in front of him. This will make him jealous and tries to convince u. If not then think that ur bf has complete blasted mind. nd phone him and give him chance to meet u. He will of course be there if he has the feelings of love for you.

I have a boyfriend and he is exactly the same way, he has 5 kids 3 are mine he cheated on me and he has two other kids by two other women i was angry and hurt but i decided to work it out anyway we stayed together. he is unhappy with his job but he is always angry with me or with the kids he doesnt get physical he just yells alot and is constantly moody so we are always walking on egg shells around him. we have been together for 5 years and we never go out together any more its like since we had all the kids he resents us. he doesnt laugh or socialize at all unless its with his own family and when my family comes around he always acts like he wishes they werent. Every time i leave the house for too long he calls to see where I am because he wants me home with the kids and even when family asks to keep them he always says no but I need a break from them sometimes. He gets one when he goes over to his familys house for hours away from me and the kids but he gets angry if i want time away.

omg! thats the same thing i’m going through too, and it does hurt the feelings. I’ve been dating this guy for almost 2 years. It has been great for the first few months, then things started to change. He was getting jealous of his friends over me, saying that I or one of his friends wanted eachother…I don’t understand why he throws that in my face. I don’t like going out with him to visit friends or family.. He always seems to bring me down…Why now is he starting to act this way? I love him and never thought he was like the person he is now. It hard to be in this situation..I tyhink he jus put an act on, because we moved from the city to a different location. Now where we live its not going to well…WHAT SHOULD I DO? I am thinking of leaving but like the other girl said i thinks it a waste…:(

I get wat u mean i’ve been dating my boyf a year and a half and everythings gd wen wer 2getha but wen we argue the things he says hurt so bad i can’t handle it i have to lash out back hurting his feelings and its just a never ending circle. He can get physical when he’s angry and it makes me have such low self esteem. I no the advice is 2 walk away but i put so much in its hard 2 know if it would be a mistake.

My boyfriend of almost 4 years is the same way. He’s got serious anger issues. Other than that, he is very smart, sweet and caring. He’s also very well spoken but the emotional **** he puts me through when he does it, makes it hard for me to stay. I should have left a long time ago and am thinking about doing it soon. Life is too short to deal with things like this. He will only get better on his own if he WANTS to. Mine refuses to get help- only uses drugs. I’m a very strong-willed, happy and peaceful person and I try to be healthy. He’s the opposite and only causes me negativity even when he is sweet for awhile. I know what’s coming after that’s over.

wow… for a minute… i thought i wrote that… i have the exact same problem…
and i know i cant “fix” him…or “make” him happy…yet i try every day…and i’m even more stupid than you…because he talked me into getting his car insured with my name…and yep…. now i’m footing the bill for this… every month…and he never offers a penny. He asked me to HELP him out…and of course i said yes…and now.. i’m regretting it… he assumes that i’m ok with it…but God Forbid I ask him to “help me with HIS payment”… i get yelled at… nice huh?
hope you’re not as stupid as me…
i’d say…run for the hills… i wish someone would have given me this advice a while ago…

maybe hes gay,,,,,,went threw the same thing before with my man

my boyfriend does same…i wish he can talk to me….at least let me know what’s going on…

this is like whats going on with me.
i like this boy and he told me he likes me, yet we can be in a reaaly good converstation and he’ll just turn really wierd and stop talking
he says he loves me and i love him and i dont want to bug him by always asking him.
but all relationships have problems!
sept i dont even go out with this boy.
its liike love at first sight even though i havent met him yet either.
would that be the problem?

Its a man’s nature to get angry on his woman. Its nothing wrong. Just hug him when he gets angry.

All the best

Im going through with the same problem, we’re almost 4 years and he still yells at me for simple mistakes I’ve done, I confront him about this and he said it’s his normal voice..the hell! But he talks to other people differently….

Hi even me facing the same issue with my boyfriend,
& im enable to express my feelings with him,there is a communication gap between us,
he stays with his roommates,so allmost everytime he will be with them,so there is no time for him to spend time with me,im ready to bunk my office for a couple of day,bt he is nt,hw do i convience him,wen ever i call him he tells im busy bt sometimes he calls for a minutes,he want to be mine for ever…please suggest me from this

I am going through the same, just like all of you. I know that he is a good person, but I have to breakup with him. Loving him as much as I do. Why? Because I realize NOW (after much advice and reading) that he will not change until he decides to change. And me being in this relationship will only keep elevating the anger until one of us breaks, which will be me.. ofcourse…

I’m breaking up with him tonight. And trust me.. I’ve cried so much already and I don’t want to lose him, but I have to pick up my pieces and put them back together again. Dealing with his anger issues has taken a toll on me to the point that I barely know who I am anymore. I tried reachign out to his family, who wants to help and study the bible with us, but he doesn’t want to do it with them.. just him and I..

Unfortunately, “him and I” haven’t gotten far at all. And me trying to get him to go only makes him angrier..

So, I have to do it tonight… I love him, but I have to love myself first. And he needs to also love himself and find help.

Don’t get me wrong peeps.. I’m not perfect. And in all relationships both parties make mistakes and hurt each other, but he DEFINITLY takes the cake. And so… As much as I hurt.. I have to let him go and hope he finds help. Not only for him, but for his 4 year old, who will most probably be the next person to suffer him.

- Lyne from Puerto Rico

I hv been facing same problems like the way you are…my bf is a good guy and doc by proffession and remains busy all the time..hardly finds time to talk with me..and sometimes when he is free for a little period he doesn’t even ring me…wn i ask hm bout ths he shows me the reason tht he is sleepy,tired,hv to gt back to wrk early bla,bla,bla….so,basically there is always remaining a communication gap..and m failing to make him undrstnd tht hw mch i m getting hurt by his such type of activities..he says he loves me..bt there is no expression of love for me..also he gets angry of my simple mistakes,dosent seem to take care of me..bt still i love him and cant even think leaving him..i m so upset..wt cn i do?

i am also going through same problem… mah boyfriend gets annoyed wid me for evry little things….he keeps on gettin angry on me evry now n den…even if i try to resolve d problem he keeps on braggin…m totally pissed now i love him a lot n i knw he loves me too buh dunno v r nt able to stay wid eachother…..i am totally confused abt to b wid him o to leave him….