life help: I hate my mom and i need help! - Help.com

How lod are you?

Is there someone you can reach out to, either at school or a family friend?

Do you have another family member you could live iwth for a while?

At 14 you need to worry about school. I am really sorry that you have to deal with your mom’s problems.

What time zone are you in?

Is your dad around? if not how about a grandparent?

eastern time zone

When she gets drunk, does she become physically abusive?

Would he be willing to listen to you if you woke him?

Does he hit you? I don’t mean a spank on the butt for misbehavior, but does he assault you?

badandcute8 wrote:
no but i yell at her to stop and do stuff to her to help her from hurting herself because she is usless

What kind of stuff do you do?

My wife grew up in similar circumstances. She was able to seek help from frinds and neighbors. Could you stay at a neighbors house tonight?

Are they verbally abusive? That can leave even longer lasting scars than physical abuse

Okay. So you’re not in any danger. That’s good.

You need to stop being rude to her. She’s still your Mom, and alcoholism is a terrible, terrible disease. I’m sure she feels pretty powerless in the face of her addiction, and having others be down on her won’t help.

yes; get some sleep now. Tomorrow, we can try to find ways to help you cope.

Good night. :)

As for now reach out for anyone who is willing to help and listen. Also PRAY to GOD and GOD will help. That is only my advice because I know that it’s hard.

I think you should call an older family member to come pick you up and take you away from there! Or an older family friend that you trust. Then maybe they can get you to find help for your parents.

Well, I don’t see why she should have to leave, as long as she’s not in danger. She’s fourteen, and old enough to be able to get emergency help if she needs it.

Mostly, a twelve-step program for children with alcoholic parents, and a youth counsellor or such would probably make life easier.

Her parents are drunks, but they don’t sound like vicious drunks. So that should give her room to focus on what she wants and needs.

Very true! I should have read her post more closely. I related it too much to my experiences and assumed that drunks=violence.

And that’s also the exact help I was talking about! I just wasn’t sure what it was called or what type it was. :P

Vicious or not they are doing serious damage to their child. Dragon lady you almost sound as if you are defending them

Anonymous wrote:
Vicious or not they are doing serious damage to their child. Dragon lady you almost sound as if you are defending them

No, I’m not defending them; but I don’t believe in breaking up families if it can be helped. And I don’t want to see her move into a situation that’s potentially worse.

For instance, we don’t want her to leave the alcoholic parents for the sexually abusive grandparents or move in with a physically abusive aunt.

Either way, her being rude and trying to control the situation isn’t going to work. She needs to find a support group and then -if it’s warranted- she can make better decisions about her life.

But my answer would be much, much different if she was younger.

I couldn’t agree more about finding support, but my wife was rasied in a very simliar situation, and the effects of her parents drinking are still there and she is 40. We should never underestimte the emotion damage just because they aren’t physically abusive.

I’m not denying there will be effects. No matter what their attitudes, the drinking alone is a big problem. But a support group is often enough to help a teen learn to cope with the situation, and they can refer her to further counselling or a safer place to live if it seems neccesary.

With two alcoholic parents, I’m very concerned the grandparents and aunts and uncles have some problems, too. I don’t want to see her in a worse situation or make herself the target for more troubles.

Anon, are you here somewhere this morning?

You need to look up an organization called Alateen. They offer support groups for kids and teenagers with alcoholic parents. From what I read, they are all over the US, so you should be able to find a local one.

Talk to them, and they should be able to refer you to some local services that can provide counselling and such. They may want to send some social workers to your home, just to be sure you’re not in physical danger.

i have the same problem dont let it get to you find something to keep you out her way thats what i do