Love help: Fu*k and double fu*k. - Help.com

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I’m just having the worst day ever. I can’t take this anymore. i just want to die. My boyfriend broke up with me last night and my best friend in the whole world committed suicide today.

oh wow im really sorry:[

thanks :( they wree the 2 most important poeple in my life though. I just don’t know how I’m going to live without them. I just feel like nobody cares for me anymore.. I just think everyting would be better if I ended my life now.

it wont be trust me!
just believe me.

i have to get off but dont do anything to hurt yourself!

Don’t take it in all at once, compartmentalize.

Okay thanks for caring!
And I don’t know. I can’t promise anything…

Red_Sky- How can I NOT take it all in at once?? I’m all alone now. I have no one to turn to.

Seriously I know it sounds weird…for lack of a better word, but one thing at a time.

And ending it all…it doens’t make anything better, not for you, not for those around you.

Anonymous wrote:
thanks :( they wree the 2 most important poeple in my life though. I just don’t know how I’m going to live without them. I just feel like nobody cares for me anymore.. I just think everyting would be better if I ended my life now.

Okay hun, do you think your friend would want that for you? I do second Script though. We only advise, unfortunatly, I believe face to face in this cercumstance would be better for you. All I can tell you right now, is to let it all out. Im not telling you to just sit and cry, but to remember the time you have had with them and let all your emotions out. It will make you feel better at the moment, killing yourself wont, for it is the ultamite end, and you cant get better from that.

scriptease- I am 16 years old. I’m an atheist so the church thing wouldnt work all that well. And the school. I odn’t connect with any of the counsellors. Thanks though! I think I’m really stuck this time

Red_Sky- I’ve never been good at taking one thing at a time. Everything seems to happen to me in bucnhes. Like last year my Uncle raped me and my Mom died right when i was going to tell her. My whole life is like this. I can’t take it anymore.

WashuChan- Thanks but I really think that this is the best thing for me. This way I’ll be with my friend agaain and everything will be okay. It’s the only way I’ll ever be happy again….

Dieing is never the best thing hun, what of everyone who is living? I dont do church well either (bad experence) but I try my best to continue to live. Honey, what would your living friends do without you?

That’s the thing… her and my bf were my only real friends. I’m kinda an outcast… and they were the only people who truley understand me.. my bf said its better if were not friends anymore. I dont know why he broke up with me but he seemed pretty hurt about doing it. But he won’t even talk to me now. I tried to call him but he just says he has to go and hangs up..

I really feel like it was my fault though. I knew hse was depressed… I tried to talk toher about it but she just pushed me away… I should’ve just kept on trying. Shown her that I was there for her anytime.

Its not your fault Anon, please dont think it is. Her death is not your fault, there are many Should haves, but how many Could haves are there? Your bf, now theres something weird about that. I wish I could put my finger on it though. Honey, please try life some more. Its gets better with time. I hate time, but it heals many things. Death only takes..

Wow, that’s so much.

Stop, you cannot blame yourself for your friends death. If someone really wants to end their life their life, they can’t hear anything.

And please don’t take your life, I know it sounds small in the grand scheme of things, but it’s the one thing that’s truly yours and something people can’t take away from you. Don’t end it early.

I hate time too. I hate life. I hate everything at the moment. I just don’t know what to do. I’m not close with my dad or brother… they gang up on me a lot and boss me around. my mom died last year and all the people I love are gone now. I actually am totally alone. I would even try talking to my school counsellor even though I dont like her but its summer =( I just don’t know how I’m gonna go on like this…. I have no one to turn to. No shoulder to cry on. All day/night I’ve just been sititng. locked up in my room crying. My dad and brother can both hear me but they don’t care if I’m feeling like this.

I can’t help but blame myself though. I really think I couldve stopped her. Helped her. I don’t care. It’s the only thing I have and it’s worthless. So whats the point? No one loves me and I’m just scared of being alone….

We are here to help that get better, the alone. Honey, please. If you need to talk about this keep talking to us, thats what we do! I wish I could be there to help you, i really do. This is something a teen should not be going through.

I hate time too, takes to **** long. But there is nothing to blame yourself for, your friend needed help as well, but couldnt get it in time, its not your fault.

Was your friend and your BF friends too? Its probibly hitting him hard too.

I go through this kind of stuff all the time. My life is a total mess. Bad things happen to me all the time and i seem to attract really bad people….
That’s okay. Thanks for trying to help!

Thanks! I know.. it’s not my fault but I can’t help but feel it is… my friends best friends mom even blames me for it. I used to be suicidal and she thinks she got the idea from me. And yeah. It was the 3 of us… we were inseperable. That’s why I’m so confused to why he doesn’t even wanna be friend anymore.. and I’m so alone now. I want them both back more than anything in the world.

Hes hurting too then. just (I know…) give him time. Its the only thing hun I can help with. I wish I could help you more! ::hugs Anon:: I will be here for you to talk with for a little while longer, Its 12:30am here, I got to go to bed soon sweety. Please dont take it the wrong way okay? I do want to help. Your friends mom needs to worry about her, not you. Its not right that she blamed you for what happened. Its not your fault, dont let anyone, anyone, tell you it is. You did not hurt your friend.

Everything WashuChan is saying is true. And trust Scrip about the whole you’ll never have to deal with this amount of pain again. Not like this at least.

I know night time is probably the worst, it’s so dark and gives people way too much time to think, but until you can fall asleep find something to distract yourself with and if you can’t there’s always someone here willing to talk.

Always! :D Ill be on tommarow night too, and the night after that.

Yeah. I’ve tried calling him… last night after we broke up and today after what happened. He just keeps making up excuses that he has to go. Thanks! It’s okay if you have to go. I won’t take it the wrong way!! I know! I’ve always liked her mom and I thought she always liked me but I guess I was wrong. She actually came to my house today screaming at me telling meit was all my fault and I had no idea what she was talking about. Then she told me she was dead. I was shocked but she thought i was just pretending to be. That I told her to do it. I didn’t though. I would NEVER do anything like that. I’m suicidal so I know what it’s like and someone’s told me to go kill myself because the worldwould be a better place without me. I know how it feels. And I would never say that to her.

Red_Sky- What can I do to distract myself though?? Any ideas?

Well I paint and play cello, those are my releases, have you ever heard of flow? In psych basically all it means is an activity that has your focus one hundred percent and all other things just kind of fall to the way side. It’s an activity that requires both concentration and certain amount of you being relaxed, so that all you can think about is the task at hand, got anything like that?

OH! I use an ipod to sleep with, do you have a radio that takes headphones and a pair, or an mp3 player?

Blast them. Stick them in your ears and blast it. When I feel so totally bad, thats what I do. I close my eyes and just listen to the diferent sounds then the feeling of my ear drums vibrating.

Just not so loud to kill your ears. You still need them. :D

Not at all…. =( I’m not a very artistic person and nothing can really capture my interest. I spent all my time with my friends… but that can’t happen now.
Yeah I guess I could try that… i have an ipod. But I just can’t quit crying…. ack. i hate this. I’m sorry this is such a depressing post.. =S i seriously apoligize

No no no, dont apoligize. Its not you that made all this pain in your life. But try the ipod. it should work well. You can still cry with the ipod on, so it will release some tesion too. Oh, hun, please be well tonight. Im gonna check on you tommarow. k?

Alright. I’ll definetely try it! I’ll do just about anything at this point.
Thanks so much for helping me out (everyone!) I really appreciate it.
I’ll try hard not to hurt myself at alll tonight. Really hard. Thanks again everyone!

Come back and let us know you’re okay!!

Yea! I want you to be safe and soon, happy. Okay? Just lay there with it blasting. Put the timer on though, so you dont kill it overnight. go though Extras- clocks- in a clock- sleep timer- pick one. okay? Good night Anon, please be safe.

Thanks! I’ll definetely come back tomorrow to tell you guys how I’m doing. I really appreciate your help!!!

always here to help. Shout me anytime hun okay? I will check you tommarow, so you have to be alive okay? night honey. please be safe.

hey im back if you are still on.
if yoou need to talk…

Anonymous wrote:
Red_Sky- How can I NOT take it all in at once?? I’m all alone now. I have no one to turn to.

you have us!

Anon, Im so checking in now! You doing okay? Did you sleep at all last night?

Keep your head up. ANY time you feel suicidal, just tell yourself its not worth it. You know how you felt when your Best Friend committed suicide, Do you really want the people in your life to feel the same?

Counseling WOULD be best, but if not possible try to branch out. Old friends, new Friends, anyone you can really talk to. Distract yourself with a collection, a hobby, hell even a computer game or SOMETHING. I mean, it may not sound like the best idea, but aNYTHING to keep yourself

Sorry if i repeated anything, I’m doin this in a bit of a hurry. Ill check back later.

Anon, sweety, are you here yet? I hope your okay.

Hey Everyone! I’m still alive! Lol.
I struglled the whole night though. The ipod thing kinda helped but not enough. Even though I didn’t kill myself, I did cut, multiple times. I hate this. I don’t want to get back into cutting again. I thought I was done with it forever. =(
Thanks baseballcraver! You seem really nice! And I know this sounds depressing and everyone is going to say it’s not true but no one would care if I died. Seriously. My 2 best friends are gone, nobody else even notices me no matter how hard i try, my dad and brother seem to think its funny when I’m like this and actually encourage it, my mom died last year (and I could actually tell her things easily) and I’m not close to any family or neighbours. I am fully alone in this world.
It sounds like a good idea! Like really it does, but I just don’t know what I can do. I’ve tried almost everything. Nothing interests me… I sit down to try and do something and my mind starts to wander to all the bad things….
Thanks everyone… I really appreciate this. I didn’t think anyone would even respond!

Hey you’re back, you’re back!! I’m glad to know your safe, but you cut? Do you think you’ll be okay tonight?

Course we would respond! Ive been worried all day, I wrote you a WHILE ago to chek up on you!

scared out of my mind…. siiiigh. Im glad your still alive! And I will check in tommarow too. OKAY? :D You cut though. Not good. its not deep right?

Yeah. Unfortunately I do cut. I seriously thought I was over with this. I haven’t cut since my mom died. But i guess it’s all starting over again. It’s not THAT deep.. but deep enough.

::hugs:: Honey! My friend once told me, “Cutting is like a rocking chair, it keeps you busy but doesnt get you no where”. Even though this has happened to you, you shouldnt do that. You could seriously hurt yourself! I know at this point, thats the point of it, but still. Hear me out okay Anon? Your cutting because of pain right? You want to forget it so thats why you do it?

It’s just a compulsion. You can control this type of thing. Don’t think it’s just some big cycle, it was that kind of thinking that really messed me up in highschool.

Yeah, I cut to put myself in pain. I know that does sound weird but it gets my mind on the pain of the cuts instead of the pain of life. But Washu, that quote is good.

This then would be your dept Sky, Ive never cut before, but my sister has. Thanks! Its actually used for something else… Worry actually, but it still fits, and my friend really did say it, only to my sister insted.

Sky, would you be okay with Anon? I need to finish something up and go to bed… I really want to help but need to go for tonight, Im just so happy your still alive honey!

Yeah I’m good Washu

Anon, would you be okay with it too?

And yeah I get the whole cutting thing, seeing the blood..seeing that life is actually running through your veins that you’re not just made of up pain…yeah i get that

Still use the Ipod to sleep with Anon okay?. Choose music that doesnt hurt. Like… happy music? I dont know. Something to that point I mean. Not songs that remind you of what has happened k sweety? I will check in tommarow again. Alright?

so you got to be alive to talk to me, or it will be really really weird! :)

I’m really sorry about everything you’re going through right now
And to be honest I disagree where you say people don’t care about you, people do care about you and the least thing they need is for you to die or cause harm to yourself, people aren’t always so open with others about their feelings, some people just think you already know they care about you, sometimes they just don’t know you feel that way some of the time, people on here also care about you just look at the responses, people want you to stay with us and so do I.
I used to cut a few years ago too cuz I thought it was a good way to release everything I felt, or lack of, but all you’re really doing is dressing yourself in scars you’ll regret later in life, though it seems as if it’s helping it really isn’t
You should try out new and different things if everything you do now reminds you of the bad things that’s happened to you, try out new hobbies, some things you think that don’t interest you or seem boring at first may turn out not to be.

washu- I’ll try to stay alive for you! And yes that would e pretty weird.. And thanks for being here for me!
sarko- Thanks for saying those things but im 100% sure no one cares about me. When I’m at school I walk into the cafeteria and whenever I go to sit in a spot people put their jackets down when they see me coming, so I can’t sit with them. I end up sitting alone in the bathroom, eating lunch.
Omg. My life is exactly like the song ‘Nothing To Lose’ by Billy Talent. EXACTLY.

I will see you tommarow then Anon, okay? Your welcome. Dont worry honey, please, and there are people who care about you. We do. Though you just met us, we still care for your wellbeing and if and when you are safe. Your dad and brother can shove it, to make you feel worse than you already are. Their not worth it. But I will see you tommarow, talk with Sky okay? Shes awsome too. Just like you.:D Night honey! Please sleep well. Bai Sky! Talk tommarow!

Thanks Washu! And for sure I will talk to you tomorrow! I’m happy to know taht their are people out there who care for me. But I wish I knew someone in person that did! And yeah I know. My dad and my brother and ****** assholes and you dont even know how oten I think about running away because of them!Goodnight! Thanks again!

woah don’t run away whatever you do. seriously, it’s a bad decision…no matter how bad it is at home unless someone is hurting you there, then go to a neighbors, a teachers, check the school directory in those instances. but if not stay home, it might not be perfect, but trust me you won’t ever feel the lonliness that you do when you run away.

Yeah I know. I want to so badly. They don’t abuse me physically but they do mentally. I come home crying a lot and they laugh at me and tell me to just go kill myself because they’d be a lot better off without me. the other day I asked them why they didn’t just kill me and they just said “because it’s illegal” And if it wasn’t illegal I would probably be dead by now. But I don’t think I would actually run away. I would have nowhere to go.

Do you have any other family?

And this may sound odd but do you think your family would consider boarding school, I dunno if you’ve ever thought about it, but it might be good for you to just get away.

Not really. I mean I’ve never met my grandparents on my moms side before. They died before I was born. And my dad won’t tell me anything about his parents. he says he doesn’t want me contacting them. So i have no information. Not even their names. And that’s all the family I have. Neither of my parents had siblings. And no I don’t think they’d consider boarding school. That would be great but I’m pretty sure my dad would say no. Costs too much.

Do you have any teachers to turn to right now? You’ve got a school e-mail right? Contacting them that way should be easy enough.

School email? No my school doesn’t have them. So no. I have no teachers to turn to either since it’s summer.

well i was just thinking… wouldnt it be great to rise above this and show your dad and brother that you arent useless and you deserve to live?
like idk become something big and important and then write a tell all book and make millions.
thats what i would do…

That sounds awesome Katelyn! But how would I go about doing that??

Well for starters you gotta believe whole heartedly in yourself, and realize that what others say is not true.

well first off how old are you?
then just get through the summer.
finish school and go to college and take random classes that you are interested in.
you could even skip the college part for now and become a realtor.
they make very good money and they are busy so you will be distracted.

I’m 16! So i still have a bit of school left. I dont know what to do for another 2 years!

Extra curriculars, join every club, get involved, not everyone out there will treat you like dirt, and trust when I say there are probably tons of people in your school feeling as low as you are, you just gotta know where to look and how to spot them. And yeah they might be a bit jaded and reject you at first, but just know you can’t take rejection completely to heart, keep trying!

Okay, well thanks! I’ll try joining some things soon. i just need to find things that are free because my dad won’t pay for anything like that and I don’t have any money of my own.

Check out your local library for free clubs and what not. Or you’re 16 there’s always the option of getting a job, as daunting as that might sound

Alright dear sweet Anon I fear I can’t stay much longer, but I hope you’re alright tonight, come back and let Washu know you’re alright, I swear she might have a heart attack one of these days.

Much Love.

Lol okay! Thanks for your help too! And I promsie I’ll come back!

Red_Sky wrote:
Alright dear sweet Anon I fear I can’t stay much longer, but I hope you’re alright tonight, come back and let Washu know you’re alright, I swear she might have a heart attack one of these days. Much Love.

Thats harsh Sky! lol. I was done with what I had to do so Im off to bed now. Im glad Sky you could help with Anon, and Anon, Im glad your okay. I will have a heart attack, I swear! lol. Night Anon, Night Sky.

Just came to check up. :D HOLY! its raining now! lol! ALOT too! That will be nice to fall asleep to tonight. Remember you Ipod Anon!

Night Anon! Night Washu, I adore both of you!

LOL please dont havea heart attack because of me!! (On second thought.. dont have one at ALL lol) Raining? Really?? Where are you from??
Night sky! Thanks! I adore you too!

I wubs you guys too! Im from Connecticut, USA. It was raining last night and sounded so nice. The breeze from the window was nice too. You okay today Anon? Dont worry, Im only 22, Im not dieing any time soon. lol! I hope you slept well. Im on for a little while untill later, Connor is being a BRAT!! Oh my gawd…. but not my post. Its Anon’s. :D Anon, what can we call you sweety? Its weird calling you Anon. :D But yea, Im so glad you are okay, you are okay right sweety? I hope. I want you to do something for me okay? Its okay, its not really for me, more for you, But I will tell you later okay? Talk soon!

Good Morning! Yeah I’m okay today so far. No cutting last night! Wow I’m in Canada and there is absoluetely NO sign of rain. its 34 degress celcius today!! the last week has been in the 30’s. Haha who’s Connor? You can call me Michelle! And yes I’m kinda okay I guess. Thanks! What do you want me to do for you??

Thats awsome! Great to meet you Michelle! Such a pretty name. Connor is my 3 year old son. Hes a pain in my ***….. but its okay. So its cool up there? Canada awsome! Whats it like there? Do people really say Eh alot? lol!

I want you to make a list of things you like to do, that are free, and that you can get to without a car, unless you have one. okay? I want atleast… hm… 15 things or so okay? Im going to make you a callender, on days it says, like, Library, you got to go to the library okay? I want you to have a fun summer, and thats the only thing I can think of doing okay honey? :D Up for it?

i would get a job!
im only 15 and most jobs hire at 16 so i would definetly get into that bc its nice to have money lol

Oh Thankyou Washu!! I was named after my mother! :) Haha yes 3 year old can be a handful sometimes. Lol I have a cousin who’s 3 and she’s so ufl of energy. Never quits! it’s so hot here!! (well for where i live it is…) but yeah Canada is pretty awesome! And yes they actually do say “eh” a lot lol. I never realized that til like last year when idecided I’d listen for it and try to pick it out. People say it soo much! its like “soo.. weathers nice today, eh?” hahahaha
Oh thanks! I’ll have to think of things first though. How are you going t make a calendar?? I’m sorry I don’t think I fully understand but still thanks! You’re very thoughtful!
Katelynxrose- Yeah I might get a job! You’re only 15? You look older than that! You’re really pretty too! :)

What I mean is that I will make a callender, and on it I will place one activity a day. Some I will put in, so you will look on the calender and see, Oh! It says pool today. So you have to go to the pool, and have fun. Some days will say something silly like, Open a lemonaid stand for a day. But you HAVE to do it okay? Trust me, It should take your mind off of what has happened and get you to be a little happier. Nothing can fully take your mind off of it, but this also gets you away from your (email removed) father and brother okay? So you up to it?

Kate, you do look older! lol!

thanks thats really sweet, i get that i look older a lot but idk why… maybe because im tall.. but anyway a job would be a great idea to help get your mind off things.