vexed by you edited this post 2 months, 1 week ago. Read the previous text »
It may be cliche and not seem important, but I like a friend of mine (ilke her a lot) and there is no hope of it going anywhere, as she has a steady boyfriend whom she seems to care a lot about. (He’s also a great guy, and completely deserves her etc). So I feel quite bad about liking her, and sometimes wishing she was with me instead, because she’s so happy and was often depressed before they started dating. I liked her a looong time before they got together, and she knew it. The problem is, I think she was starting to like me too, she used to be really flirty and when she and her boyfriend first got together sthey were both drunk and it had been ’set up’ by mutual friends. But she still acts the same way! It’s been months and I still haven’t got over her, I’m just so confused by my feelings. I know I shouldn’t spend so much time with her but she’s one of my best friends and staying away from her would mean staying away from other friends too.
magic dust edited this post 2 months, 1 week ago. Read the previous text »
Im a bit homosexual and i dont know what to do? Any advice?
ok you shouldnt feel bad it’s perfectly oaky to feel this way
is she the only person you like or are there others??
Sometimes there are others - at the moment I kind of have a slight crush on one girl I’ve been loose friends with for a while but am starrting to get closer to. The thing is, I don’t really have much experience nor do I expect crushes to be reciprocated, and I know that by allowing a new one to grow I’m just using it to try to get over the original girl, which I can’t seem to do.
Heh, just gave away that it was me there.
yeh! u sound lk a respectable person tho so it cool!
i agree i dont think you should stay away from her… ur friends are a very important part of yor life and you shouldnt let someone you like get in the way of that…
have you tried talking to her since and seeing what she says?
Well, I don’t think she even knows I still like her. The way she acts tells me that she’s either forgotten about it/assumed I’ve moved on or is for some reason leading me on which I doubt - for example she’s always hugging me or kissing me on the cheek, talking about how she really loves me and thinks I’m a great person, ie standard stuff for friends but things that would be really cruel to someone you knew liked you. I’m not sure about talking to her about it - when she found out before she told me she was flattered (but I’m not sure if she was being sincere - it was kind of pressured as there were a bunch of our friends there too, it was about 2 in the morning and they’d just spent the last couple of hours wheedling it out of me) but it was still kind of awkward for a few days and we didn’t really talk about it much beyond her finding out that I liked her.
ok……
um how about taking her to one side and telling her how you feel,
i know u dont like the idea too much… but telling her will help get it off your chest …
I guess, but I don’t want to ruin anything, especially as she may tell her boyfriend and he might get mad…
But I should probably take your advice, as I asked for it! :)
How best to tell her?
Problem multiplied: apparently her boyfriend’s birthday is coming up and he’s having a big party, we’re all invited but obviously they’ll be spending a lot of time together and I’ll have to act like it doesn’t bother me. Should I go if I’m that worried? How can I politely decline?
magic dust invited 2 users to read this post 2 months ago.
Seems your kinda stuck ,In order for things to change you need to take action by speaking up.Its important to risk the guy getting mad,unless he has a pattern violent tendencies then I wouldnt advise it.From the way it sounds you 2 being so close and all I really doubt if it would hurt your relationship.Now how to tell her and How to decline the invite.You could show her this post and all your replies,tell her in person is always best,but a note is an option too.Get her undivided attention and in a quiet invironment ,let her know you are so happy for her but at the same time you are feeling down.And simply say you like her more than a friend and want to know what she feels about it.What happens after that you will need to have patience with cuz if anything doesnt go well,there is always hope she will come around and if she doesnt ,it wasnt meant to be and you will still have her as a friend but this time she will be more sensitive to your feelings when your all together.Does that sound like it may work for you?
I suppose it may, thanks. I guess now I just have to go through with it!
It sounds like your scared,sure thats normal.You don’t HAVE to go through with it,Its intirely up to you.Its about either taking the risk verses continuing things to remain the same
Well, it all boils down to ‘will I get over her without changing things’. Does it seem likely that I will?
Sure, anything is possible.I dont know you or the future so I dont know how to answer your question.I think its a matter of choice and time.
Fair enough, I’ll think it over. Thanks again!
Your Welcome sweetie .Good luck and keep us posted :D
Well, not had a chance to talk with her in private yet, but I think I may actually be getting over her. This may only be because I’ve not really spoken to her in five days (in person, at least). But I think I may have a crush on someone else, which is good. Sorry to be narrating my boring life to you again, but it’s good to talk about things, I find.
Its good to hear your doing better.And the crush may help keep your mind off things.Just take it slow and enjoy the ride.For both your sakes.It’s really easy to let these feelings override and suppress the grief only to have it rise again at a later time.
yey thats good news
and don’t be sorry… that’s what we here for..
i hope it all goes well for you
xx
OK, things have got a lot worse. I also have other things to worry about now. Myself and a few friends including this girl spent the weekend in Nottingham on a course for prospective medical students. All great fun, but after spending so much time with her I’ve realised that there is no way I’m over her or will be in the forseeable future. I really think I’ve fallen in love with her. Then, after one of the activities (an ‘emergency response callout’ that involved lots of running around and mock CPR) my other friend had a terrible asthma attack. She’s still in hospital. The doctors think she’s fine, but they keep telling her she can go home then changing her mind. And her heart rate’s still pretty high (about 120 I think, which certainly qualifies as tachycardia) and then she collapsed today, apparently. She says she’s fine, and the doctors have said they just want to rule out the probability of a pulmonary embolism before they let her go, but I’m still worried - but I guess there’s nothing I can do. (Sorry about talking about a different problem on the same thread). Then, third problem. Was talking to the original girl sunday night, before we both went to bed, and as we said goodbye, hugged etc, I didn’t say goodnight but ‘love you’. So, kind of mortified about that too. I’m not sure if she noticed, and she may just have discredited it as tiredness (none of us got much sleep, we were waiting in A&E most of the night) and she’s acted normally towards me since, but that may just be that she doesn’t want to cause a scene while our friend is in hospital. In Nottingham. Two and a half hours’ drive away (the girls’ mum couldn’t get there the day of or after the hospitalisatiopn, so we stayed up there an extra night so that she had someone there, but then when her mum arrived she insisted we go back and get to school etc). So now I have so many things to worry about I can’t think. Just wanted to get all that off my chest. Sorry.
Update: Friend in hospital is now out, back home, and even came into school on Wednesday!
Would it be better for me to repost this under my username? What’s the rule on things like that?
Anonymous changed the tags on this post: they were "friends, happiness, set, Drunkenness, hope, Courtship, like, Mental confusion, boyfriend, Away From Her" 1 month, 2 weeks ago.
Anonymous edited this post 1 month, 2 weeks ago. Read the previous text »
It may be cliche and not seem important, but I like a friend of mine (ilke her a lot) and there is no hope of it going anywhere, as she has a steady boyfriend whom she seems to care a lot about. (He’s also a great guy, and completely deserves her etc). So I feel quite bad about liking her, and sometimes wishing she was with me instead, because she’s so happy and was often depressed before they started dating. I liked her a looong time before they got together, and she knew it. The problem is, I think she was starting to like me too, she used to be really flirty and when she and her boyfriend first got together sthey were both drunk and it had been ’set up’ by mutual friends. But she still acts the same way! It’s been months and I still haven’t got over her, I’m just so confused by my feelings. I know I shouldn’t spend so much time with her but she’s one of my best friends and staying away from her would mean staying away from other friends too.
Mr Mistofales
MamaBear {Felicity}