life help: I haven’t seen my therapist in a month.

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I haven’t seen my therapist in a month.

Screwed up scheduling, that sort of thing, I guess, but it’s also because she didn’t want to see me until I’d seen several doctors in Cleveland that my mother insisted I see. It feels so ******* useless. I lie in bed all day and pass the hours by watching the clock on this computer or playing some stupid online game or staring at the screen and then typing “help” into the URL bar to see if it’ll echo. Because of my depression I’m a year and a half behind in school, there’s no way I’m going to graduate with my class, and I can’t even write anymore, I can’t make the the words flow the way I used to be able to, I can’t describe things the way I used to, any metaphor I come up with is pathetic and I feel my vocabulary shrinking everyday. This is not who I’m supposed to be. This is not how my life is supposed to be. It hurts so ******* much. I’m not suicidal, but I don’t want to deal with life anymore; I’m avoiding things. I need to talk to my therapist, because she’s good at her job and I’m lucky there and she helps, but that’s just not possible and it’s like I’m banging my head against a brick wall. Cleveland doctors shovel Aspergers on to my anxiety and depression diagnoses even while saying that it doesn’t make sense, my sleeping schedule is messed up, I’m 17 and I’ve never kissed a boy on the mouth, and it’s hard to stop when I get going, but I guess I’m rambling anonymously because I need to. Because… I just don’t want to hurt anymore. I can’t handle this on my own.

This open post was written 3 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 113, 10, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

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Cleveland, Ohio, Asperger syndrome, computer, suicide, sleep, Clock, game, Boy, life, Month (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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HelpBot 8 #
San Francisco, CA, US | 3 months, 2 weeks ago (0 minutes after post)

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Mr. P 8 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months, 2 weeks ago (6 minutes after post)

Do you have a scheduled appointment? If you need something to do, learn a Rubik’s Cube! It usually takes about a week, and it can entertain you for years! Man do I ever give poor advice.

Help me with: Some insight from a car ride.

Paradoxotaur 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 2 weeks ago (10 minutes after post)

Mr. P wrote:
Do you have a scheduled appointment? If you need something to do, learn a Rubik’s Cube! It usually takes about a week, and it can entertain you for years! Man do I ever give poor advice.

I guess posting automatically gives me an account. Nice.

No, it’s not bad advice. I do have a scheduled appointment, which is actually nice to remember; I just wish she could fit me in sooner.

Mr. P 8 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months, 2 weeks ago (11 minutes after post)

Well, it gives you something to look forward too. What are you doin’ for fun?

Help me with: Some insight from a car ride.

Mr. P 8 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months, 2 weeks ago (12 minutes after post)

Besides looking up random websites lol.

Help me with: Some insight from a car ride.

Paradoxotaur 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 2 weeks ago (16 minutes after post)

Reading, eating, and sleeping, really. I’m hoping by next week things will be easier — I see my therapist Wendy then, and both of my aunts are due to have children in the next few weeks, so there’s a lot to get done. It’s hard to get the will to do it — it’s easier to sleep — but I guess I have to fight that.

Mr. P 8 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months, 2 weeks ago (21 minutes after post)

Well, cousins are usually fun, because they’re more like friends then family members. What are you reading? I’m stuck over here with “A History of Earth and its Peoples” for my Summer assignment.

Help me with: Some insight from a car ride.

Paradoxotaur 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 2 weeks ago (26 minutes after post)

Yeah, plus I’m the type of person who gets ridiculously excited about babies. XD That sounds dry. I’m trying to work my way through Les Miserables, but I keep getting distracted by Sandman and Margaret Atwood. I read too many things at once.

Mr. P 8 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months, 2 weeks ago (28 minutes after post)

LMAO. Oh man that was good.

Holy guacamole. I think you need to ask your therapist how it’s possible that you can read three books at once.

Help me with: Some insight from a car ride.

shol'vah 1 #
Anchorage, AK, US | 3 months, 2 weeks ago (1 hour, 26 minutes after post)

Mr. P wrote:
LMAO. Oh man that was good.

Holy guacamole. I think you need to ask your therapist how it’s possible that you can read three books at once.

Its easy to do if you try Mr. P, but Paradoxotarur, just focus on the positives in the future. Maybe try to find more engaging distractions for the present and you should be able to pull through till you see your therapist.

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I haven’t seen my therapist in a month.

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