Family help: I cant stop pushing my wife away from me.

spagofreep

I cant stop pushing my wife away from me.

I am very suspicious and jealous of her. I dont know what to do I feel as if I am going insane. I do things like call her 34 times in a two hour period. Going through her cell phone records and calling numbers I dont recognize. When she dosent answer her phone I start to freak out. I project my hatred of myself on to her and convince myself that all of her thoughts are about her hating me or out to get me. I dont know what to do. Lately I have been looking into just leaving and dissapearing into a large city. Leaving my wife and blood family behind without word.

This open post was written 3 months ago | V/U/S: 251, 14, 7 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post spagofreep may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. spagofreep is a verified member, has been around for 3 months, 1 week and has 1 posts and 12 replies to their name.

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marriage, City, mobile phone, Blood, Family, jealousy, Hour, hate, word, Thought (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (14)

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Dragon_Lady 8 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months ago (1 minute after post)

Have you tried marriage counselling?

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spagofreep 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (3 minutes after post)

we have gone once. She wasnt really into it. We plan on going back I am away from home for seven weeks or so and that only makes matters worse

Dragon_Lady 8 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months ago (6 minutes after post)

Then go by yourself. If you change, the relationship will change, and everything will get better.

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Chameleon 46 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (7 minutes after post)

I’m a bit confused spagofreep - you posted this exact same thing yesterday. Am I insane in remembering that? Did you talk to your wife about calling you instead during the day like was suggested to you? Or setting limits as to how often you can call her?

gia.smith8 1 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (8 minutes after post)

communicate and understand her.you sound very confused , you would need to sort out ur mind too

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spagofreep 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (1 hour, 1 minute after post)

no chameleon I just posted again I wanted to talk. Im sorry. I had never been here before and last night helped me sooo much. I had a good day today and I just wanted to talk more. I hope I dont upset anyone or break any rules.

Chameleon 46 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (1 hour, 7 minutes after post)

Oh no spagofreep, I didn’t think you broke any rules, I just wondered if I was going insane. :P

zoo_baw 37 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (1 hour, 16 minutes after post)

external help in the from of counseling or therapy is definitely needed here. the expert would better explain what is happening and how to overcome it. in my view, trust is very crucial, if you don’t have that, what else is there?.

spagofreep 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (1 hour, 18 minutes after post)

I will be getting that soon. And your right trust is everything here. Right now there is none on either of our parts.

~Luna~ 18 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (5 hours, 48 minutes after post)

Alright…I have to say this only to get your attention and to know this does happen, My ex husband did quite the opposite to me and he eventually left, or actually he made me leave. That broke my heart more then anything, I was lost and scared and didnt know what to do. I wanted my husband so bad.

Now…think aboutt this…If you leave your wife and blood family…whats gonna happen? you could loose somone(s) you truly love, and you’ll hurt her more then anything, if you leave without word they may all be scared and frightened for you, that could put you as a disappearence in the FBI files.

What would you do if you left your wife, what if her heart so much she (god for bid) does somthing horrible to herself, it’ll fall back on you. If you leave your blood family what if the same fate happens to one of them (god forbid any of it) You may not realize about it but doing one bad thing can change everyone you love.

You say there is no trust…Ok, thats because of whats been going on between you two, try and get some external help and also maybe try and get yourself to see a counsler or a therapist. Also if anything do me this, go and talk to your wife and tell her you love her, because I know you do, shes thinking quite the same things you are now im sure so please go and talk to her, thatll lighten the air between you two and possibly open her doors to you again when it comes to trust.

Trust is the major thing in a relationship but communication is key. Keep me updated on what happens ok?
good luck
Luna

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Anonymous #
3 months ago (2 days, 11 hours after post)

Is there no trust because you cheat or want to cheat on her?

indianprinces0 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 2 weeks ago (2 weeks, 5 days after post)

I can tell you from being the wife in a relationship like that…. It is no fun at all! I think about my husband all day long, I miss him and I love him…. But then he constantly says I don’t love him or makes light of me having missed him all day. You sound just like him, in what you have written! I promise you if she is like me…. Back off a little and she will come to you more! She does love ONLY you or would not have married you! Enjoy that about her! Learn to live, love and laugh! Let the little things roll off your back and pay attention to HER not focus on the negative!
Hope this helps!
Good luck always!!!!

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zackiecha #
An Unknown Location | 2 days, 15 hours ago (3 months after post)

hey’

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zackiecha #
An Unknown Location | 2 days, 14 hours ago (3 months after post)

Listen man, being jealous and insecure is only going to push her away. I know you love her, SO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. I was in the same position as you, calling my girl all the time, acting irrational and clingy, I LOST HER. Thats whats going to happen if you dont step back and look at things from an outsiders perspective. like luna said,”Communication is the key!!!” You need to make plans with her and be supportive and more trusting, only then will she open up to you! Dont make the same mistakes i did: IM STILL SUFFERING FOR IT TODAY. You need to find the guy that your wife fell in love with. Tap into your inner self and make things right. I know you can do it. Don’t confront her about how jealous and insecure you are, you need to SHOW HER. Show her you’re the guy she fell in love with, show her that she can trust you TO TRUST HER.

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I cant stop pushing my wife away from me.

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