life help: Just a rant… Ignore :) Spelling and grammar etc is going out the window for this one….. - Help.com

Just a rant…

Ignore :) Spelling and grammar etc is going out the window for this one…..

MY GOSH….went to a Uni day today, to talk about money help, gap years etc…. and I got really excited about doing a gap year… being able to do things I wouldn’t normally be able to do and all the jazz.
Got home, and told my parents that I want to do a gap year… dad was alright with it, but my mum YET AGAIN put all the barriers up and pulled the guilt card out! She never gives me encouragement, unless she thinks it’s a good idea… I never get a ‘’well, go for it. If you want to do it, i’ll be right behind you'’… it’s always ‘’well, I wouldn’t do that'’ or ‘’I don’t think that’s a good idea” or ‘’tis too far….'’ TIS MY LIFE, and it sucks that she won’t let me live it without me feeling guilty. I know she’s giving me guidance and advice, but tis the way she gives it too me… she never gives positive comments, tis always negative, which makes me feel crap.
Anyway…. my dad knows she always does it, so this time, he told her to shut up because I started to get upset about it… she got in a p***y, stormed out the house…. she’s now come back and is in one of her moods.

GAH!!!!

And everybody keeps on telling me that tis a mother thing, and that she wants to protect me, but all my life, I have been wrapped in bloody bubble wrap, and I want to break out of it. I want to be able to do things without feeling guilty, or thinking ‘’oh is mum ok?'’ It’s not fair. God help me when I leave home…. Blimey!

well, that will do…. feel a bit better anyway :)

This open post was written 3 months, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 388, 4, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post Smarty has helped in 3 other users' posts within the last 4 days. Smarty is a verified member, has been around for 1 year, 1 month and has 28 posts and 750 replies to their name.

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jazz, god, Money, tourism, life, Window, house, Guilt, grammar, Year (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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mumstheword offline Verified User (4 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 42 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 1 week ago (1 hour, 8 minutes after post)

The trouble with being a mum… is that we are much more ruled by our emotions ! Dad’s tend to see things in much more practical, matter-of-fact ways sometimes. Mums aren’t so good at dealing with worry.. its the old Venus and Mars thing.

She loves you to bits.

That’s why she freaks out.

The emotions just all bubble out uncontrollably. She panics. She says the first thing in her head and doesn’t stop to think how to phrase it.

Don’t take it personally. Be glad that she takes an interest in you and your life. She’s not trying to control it.. that’s just your perception based on the reactions you see.

She just wants you to be happy.

I’d say she’s in a strop not at you, but that others don’t understand where she’s coming from. Unfortunately, Dad telling her to shut up is about the worst thing he could do and not at all helpful! No wonder she is in a bad mood with him ! Parents are supposed to be a team and when one team player gets something wrong, destructive comments like “shut up” don’t help.

Remember too that she is going to be pretty mixed up because her life role is suddenly changing. She gave birth to you, nurtured you, spent her life raising you and now suddenly you don’t need her any more and are going to be gone. Of course, it’s all in the normal cycle of life.. but it’s a hard thing for mums to deal with.

With all this going on, it’s kind of to be expected that she’s not going to be rational.

Just let her say what she wants to say, thank her for her advice and tell them all you’re going to think about things… then go off.. think about things and do what you feel is right for you. Learn to say “that’s an interesting point”.. “hmm.. yes, i’ll take on board those viewpoints” and “Both of you give such good advice. Thanks”.

Good luck

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Smarty online Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 5 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months, 1 week ago (1 hour, 59 minutes after post)

^^Thanks :)

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mumstheword offline Verified User (4 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 42 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 1 week ago (2 hours, 3 minutes after post)

you’re welcome.

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