Love help: Unrequited love + bitter lonelyness = insanity - Help.com

Well, my life is a real mess, I allowed it to become that way, but when I was just a child, I didn’t have anyone to really talk to. I mean, my mother and father were always trying to get under each others skin. My mother is a joy freak, which means that she must make other people happy, or at least think that she is making them happy, even if she is just asserting control over them. I think she retreated into her own personal world when she found out that the man she had married, was not the man she fell in love with or wanted to have children with. Despite her best efforts she could not help but make us feel unwanted, my sister and I, like we were one of the obstacles which stood between her and freedom. My father is a harsh man, obsessed with marks and school, his favourite expression “School before everything”. An expression we were expected to live by, and I did, even now, in the mistaken hope to please him, to hear him say, good job, but never can I satisfy his thirst for personal succes though his children. If we failed him, any one of us, he would take out his frustration on the entire family, by not talking to us, sometimes for months. Dinner, the only time we actually came together as a family, was especially fun, as my sister would always argue with my father, making him mad, and my mother and I would sit silently, eating our food and in the hope that we would not be dragged into the argument. Or, we would not exchange a word at all.

This was pointless, sorry for waising everyone’s precious time.