Love help: I can’t let go of my dad. - Help.com

Well personally, I would not add your dad’s email. He sounds like a terrible man. The way you explained it, the only things he seems to care about are how much kids he had with each wife. Sorry if I’m being a little too stern but I wouldn’t do it.

Nah, forget him, he’s not reaching out to you at all, you found his email by accident, he should have made an effort to contact you.

Just what fourthings said… if he cared he would contact you himself

If there is one advice that I can give to everyone struggling with their parents, it would be:

If by any means possible, if it doesn’t completely break you down, keep some kind of contact with your parents.

I had a forced break, I found peace with it, but it stays difficult.

Your father made a ton of mistakes. But he is also letting you know that he wants contact again.

If I were you, I’d send him an email. Telling him that you find it difficult but that you want to try again and wish to speak.

How much we want to deny it sometimes, the connection between kids and parents is very strong. You should try to preserve that if possible. And he is reaching out now.

You might want to think of opening a new email address, solely for him.
If the contact goes wrong and you don’t want to speak too him for a while or forever, you only have to terminate that address.
This might give you some extra feeling of safety.

Good luck!

I would consider responding to his e-mail and telling him exactly how you feel. What do u have to loose? He can either explain himself and ask for forgiveness or who knows. I strongly sugest you at least get ur feeling off ur chest so u can close that book, or open a new chapter to ur life.

I think it would be a good idea to print off what you’ve written in this post and show it to your mum, so she can understand how you feel about the situation, and then maybe she’ll stop pressuring you. And you don’t have to make a decision now about your dad, you can leave it until you feel ready to decide. He left you until he was ready, so you have a right to.

I know how it feels not being sure about seeing/knowing a dad again, as I’m going through a similar situation. My dad’s in jail at the moment for something he did to me ages ago, he’s a screwed up person, manipulative, angry, but also nice at times. The last time I saw him was the February before last, so its a lot longer for you being without a dad. But, like you I’ve been going over in my head whether i want to see him again - things like how I’ll react/he’ll react, if it will be the same (I know it won’t be really), but I’ve been dreading making a decision, as when I’m 18 I will have the option to visit him. Part of me wants to, but the other’s terrified to.
But what helped for me, sounds wierd, but my friend has tarot cards, and I asked him to ask if I should get in contact with my dad again/if I want him in my life, and apparently they said that I’ll know for definate when I see him. And it makes sense. It might be the same for you, I don’t know.

Sorry this is a long reply, I hope it helps. Good luck in whatever you choose to do.