Love help: I don’t know how long I can stay. - Help.com

It sounds like he’s leeching off you and you’re letting him because you don’t want to be alone. You could have a more satisfying relationship with a cup. Why don’t you ditch him and wait til a real man comes along?

I don’t know. I can’t bring myself to do it. I guess I’m a little scared. I’m waiting for a miracle to happen… That and we’ve been together for almost two years.

Are you in love with him? Or are you just settling for him?

I think I’m in love with him.

Hmm…you said you THINK you’re in love with him. I notice you thought about it for a long time before responding. I would wish that you would have known the answer immediately, and it would have been a sure “yes”. Maybe spend a couple of days thinking hard about whether you really do love him, or if you just like him. Because if you’re not in love with him, you’re wasting time and resources on a man that isn’t the right one. And don’t settle, because if you do, some day the right one will come along and you’d be married to the wrong one and regret it for the rest of forever.

You know what, in everything in life, love included, there has to be a balance of give and receive. From reading your story you are giving a lot of yourself and that is not being balanced out by receiving. When you give so much of yourself and receive nothing in return, the result is how you are feeling right now. This guy needs to know that how he is treating you in unfair…I would say that the reason he is exploding is because he knows that and either doesn’t know what to do about it, or plainly doesn’t want to do anything about it. Honey, you need to know which it is and I’m afraid the only way you can do this is by giving him the space….if he has so many more important things than you at the moment, then let him concentrate on them then, and you concentrate on you. I know this will be hard but tell him that you think you should take a break so that you can both decide if this relationship is what you want. I know thats probably not what you want to hear but its the only way you are going to find out what is what, and you really need to do that, cos its unfair to you. You sound like you are so confused and believe me I know what that is like. So, he will probably explode again, but you need to remain calm and let him, but stand your ground…you know the old saying, you don’t what you got til its gone? Well that really stands. I’ve had to do this in the past in a similar situation, it has resulted in my fiance and I being separated now but we still love each other, but eventually you realise that if you are in a relationship, you need to recieve as much as you give, and you also need to be valued by your partner. That means that if there are things that he needs to sort out that he either includes you and you help him or he lets you go, because he needs to value you as much as you value him.

So, my advice, tell him you need the break, then don’t contact him, and if he calls you try not to talk about your problems, not yet….give him a couple of weeks and then, you will have a better idea of what he wants, and what you want and when you remove yourself for a time from the craziness, you gain clarity and so can see things clearer. Its gonna be a tough thing to do, but you need to remember your own worth! The current situation is not acceptable, and if one of you doesn’t act now, its will end up in tears, and will just get to a point where animosity and bitterness will creep in, adn both of you deserve better….especially you! (hugs)

totally agree with chameleon

You need to distance your self fromhim now. You shouldn’t be unhappy 90% of the time. You need to do things that will make you happy and it doesn’t sound like he is making you happy at all. He insults you, belittles you, lies to you and ignores you. You don’t exist in his life. He shouldn’t exist in your life. You need to be in a loving supposrtive relationship.