I think she’s getting angry because she realizes that you are becoming beyond her control. She still wants to be the controlling mother she’s been for a long time. You’re growing up, she needs to give you a break…
I don’t know how to help, other than just enjoy your time away. :)
if you’re younger than 18, though, she still has control over you. Just…try to bear with it.
im 21
how do u see her as controlling?
through ur perceive how do u see her as controlling. im interested to see another persons point of view on this.
You aren’t living out on your own yet? It’s your mums house. Is your sister under age? If you want your own life there is a price to pay, it’s called rent:) Lonely is also a price to pay, but who is better at handling your lifes responsibilities?
my sister is 17 and my mum gives her so much priority.
i find it hard tobe independant. because im seen as ‘vulnerable’ as im with my mum, shes meant to be my carer and so get disability allowance. shes a crap carer lol she lets my sister get what she wants, i can;t think atm of when she has allowed me something over my sister.
i think if i want to move out, i have to ask for help. i find it hard to get a part time job, i was born with social disability so interviews are a struggle. i don;t know where to ask for help though.
life is hard. no friends to move in with. hate life at home. its crap pretty much.
spiritedsoul wrote:
i think if i want to move out, i have to ask for help. i find it hard to get a part time job, i was born with social disability so interviews are a struggle. i don;t know where to ask for help though.
life is hard. no friends to move in with. hate life at home. its crap pretty much.
Have you thought about moving into a group home with other social disabilities/handicapped people?
i have joined a group for those with aspergers syndrome, which is what i have. ive asked them about moving, they said they can’t think of anything. next time i go back will talk to them about it again. i really want to move out, it annoys me so much i can;t thinlk of anywhere to go. i hate it here at home.
spiritedsoul wrote:
i have joined a group for those with aspergers syndrome, which is what i have. ive asked them about moving, they said they can’t think of anything. next time i go back will talk to them about it again. i really want to move out, it annoys me so much i can;t thinlk of anywhere to go. i hate it here at home.
Well, be kind to your mom and your sister, if you are serious about moving then you want to leave on good terms with your family. Your mom had taken care of all the boring responsibilities of a home for you up until now. You will have to figure these things out for yourself in the future.
wen i was r*p*d last year i had to put up with my mum yelling and shouting at me. 2 weeks later told me I should move out for not trusting her, and that i shudve known the guy was going to do it to me. she really didn;t help.
ok, she was unwell. 6 months before dad died, and her dad died few months before then.
but i feel my mum isn;t healthy for me.
thing is, if i live with her, i get disability living allowance, because im classified as disabled and vulnerable really. my life is hard. i just want friends, and job and be busy, but don;t do well with those aspects. i struggle to socialise. i wish my brain is normal and can do what most others can do.
thanks soulrising. i can do simple things like do my own washing, clean, wash myself. im not good with cooking because my mum would always do it for me, and so not been given oppurtunity to learn. but i can cook some simple things, just not a great variety of stuff.
i want to live with someone else if move out.
You are very lucky to have someone to take care of you. Your mom isn’t perfect, but then nobody is. You can trust your mom, try not to blame her for everything that happens to you in your life:).
I know you blame your mom because she is taking responsibility for you. It is very easy to see what you don’t have but be careful that you don’t miss seeing everything that you do have:)
well, the problem is, its the emotional side of things with my mum which bug me. i do not connect with her. physical aspects, they;re pretty fine. its the emotional.
ok, shes not perfect, but i do not emotionnaly connect with her.
i don;t like depending on her.
spiritedsoul wrote:
well, the problem is, its the emotional side of things with my mum which bug me. i do not connect with her. physical aspects, they;re pretty fine. its the emotional.ok, shes not perfect, but i do not emotionnaly connect with her. i don;t like depending on her.
Do you emotionally connect with anyone? She is taking care of you, and you depend on her, she has some burden to bear with you as well.
thing is, i don;t want my mum taking responsiblity over me. i want to be dependant on myself, whilst growing up she also hasn’t encouraged independance for me, she thinks my life belongs to her.
she just said, as a mother is her responsibility to make her children happy.
i think its an unhealthy view of thinking.
i don;t have any strong emotional connection with anyone.
thing is, i don;t want to depend on her.
i hate depending on her. because of this, i feel like she has so muc control over my life. like she likes being the one in control, and im the vulnerable one.
my sister can cope better on her own, so my mum has little to control over her.
but me….its like she has so much control.
Your right because it isn’t up to someone else to make an adult, which you are now, happy. You should try to help your mom be happy.
spiritedsoul wrote:
i don;t have any strong emotional connection with anyone.thing is, i don;t want to depend on her.i hate depending on her. because of this, i feel like she has so muc control over my life. like she likes being the one in control, and im the vulnerable one.my sister can cope better on her own, so my mum has little to control over her.but me….its like she has so much control.
Have you asked her if you can have a little bit more responsibility in you life? Over decisions that are important to you.
no i haven’t asked her.
it annoys me that she priorities in my sister more than me.
sorry im tired and all hung up. ive let a lot out so feel abit better.
Dont know if you have joined this one - but it’s maybe time you wre given your own flat with a warden/carer. This encourages you to be independent but anyone who enters the building has to get past the warden for safety’s sake. You are taught how to cook, budget for bills, and encouraged to train for part time work. It is like being independent but with a big safety net. You wont be able to live with your Mum forever and if you can make it to a festival for 3 days you can certainly give living in a group environment but with your own flat a go - Good luck Mas
Welcome to A.S.S.G.O | AS Support Group OnlineThis site is for people who suffer from Aspergers syndrome. People who are involved with Aspergers syndrome are also welcome here to, we cater in supporting …
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thanks mas1.
how can i get information about warden, carers?
also im a full time student, and in holidays. can i stil get help?
Indeed - you are in luck as round the corner from me is a beautiful 6 flat building for people with social learning difficulties. I’ve been in it - wow. I will ask Claire, the Warden if I see her tomorrow who you should speak to. Thing is all your disability etc would be paid to you and you would get housing benefit
wow. i know none of that round here. i live in kent, near folketone and canterbury,
a place like that mas1 sounds ideal for me lol
Will definitely call around there in the morning and I’ll take a not asking her to call me as she is usually out with the the people who live there, they go to all sorts of classes. Will shout you tomorrow night
thanks, ill be back monday as going to a festival this weekend :)
away from my mum!
my sister is going, hopefully won;t c her! lol!
Have a nice time at the festival
it seems my problem is not that unique stay strong. I will continue to try to be
erin
SoulRising
Mas1st
wenwolfu